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Love is ... not picking your nose and burping (rift prevention)
Scotsman ^ | 5/16/05 | Ed Black

Posted on 05/17/2005 11:13:14 AM PDT by pissant

LEAVING a wet towel on the bathroom floor may seem a minor issue but it could be a ticking timebomb when it comes to relationships, scientists have warned.

New research in the United States has identified a list of the most annoying habits that can cause rifts between couples.

Minor irritations in domestic life can mean that people become "allergic" to a partner’s foibles. These may include such crimes as laughing at one’s own jokes or fiddling with the pre-set controls of the car stereo.

Among the most annoying habits are failing to hang up towels, leaving a new loo roll on top of the empty one and using a fork as a backscratcher. Cringe-inducing endearments such as "babykins" also can cause an adverse reaction when aired in public.

When behaviour is repeated, a couple can reach breaking point, said Michael Cunningham, who led the research.

"The basic notion that things become more irksome over time has never been looked at before," he said. "Relatively minor, unpleasant behaviours appear to affect a partner’s emotions in a way that resembles how physical allergens function. The first experience is likely to produce a small negative reaction, but repeated contact increases sensitivity.

"Wet towels on the bathroom floor cause mild irritation. But the reaction gets stronger each time it happens. Through repeated exposure it may produce a social allergy — a reaction of hypersensitive annoyance or disgust."

Many of the habits detailed in the study - published in the academic journal Personal Relationships - are the obvious areas of conflict within relationships.

They include nose-picking, burping and tatty clothes in men, and lateness, verbosity and demands for reassurance about clothing in women.

The study, funded by the US government’s health research arm and conducted in the department of communications at Louisville University, Kentucky, charted the grim "deromanticisation" of more than 160 people’s relationships.

It also compared what was termed "social allergen frequency" (nasty habits), with relationship satisfaction and failure in a further 274 people.

The resulting report, Social Allergies in Romantic Relationships, aims to establish the nature of the link between nasty habits and nasty divorce, though some of the issues raised will provide bored couples with a new range of things to complain about.

It highlights the irritation caused by fabricating anecdotes to enliven dinner parties and the reading of e-mails while holding a conversation about the mortgage.

The researchers suggested women were also more likely to complain about uncouth behaviour and "norm violations", such as drunkenness or flatulence, while men would withdraw and eventually leave.

British researchers agree that childish bickering is common to relationships. It is when there are underlying problems that the minor irritations take on unmanageable proportions.

Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor with the charity Relate, said: "Minor niggles can seem trivial, but if they are left unchecked they can cause problems. We have so many couples saying to us they argue over everything and nothing. Communication is the key. If a minor habit causes bother, it should be no big deal to change it."

STOP DOING IT!

A NUMBER of dangerous niggles for relationships have been identified:

• Fabricating anecdotes in a desperate effort to liven up a dinner party.

• Using cringe-making terms of endearment such as ‘babykins’ in public.

• Displaying fear during horror films (if male) - this is a turn-off for women.

• Racking up excess luggage charges by going over the top with holiday packing.

• Making a partner spend far longer than they want to on shopping trips.

• Laughing at your own jokes, oblivious to the fact that no-one else is.

• Complaining about partner’s clothes.

• Changing preset controls on the car stereo.

• Tipping clutter from coffee table on to floor to make way for TV dinner.

• Failing to replace loo roll when it is finished.

• Leaving wet towels around.

• Scattering clothes about the bedroom.

• Reading e-mails while claiming to be conducting an important discussion about the mortgage or similar subject.

• Using a fork as a backscratcher.

• Nose-picking.

• Burping.

• Clipping toe-nails, even if newspaper is spread on floor to catch clippings.

• Wearing tatty clothing.

• Getting drunk despite lack of any obvious excuse.

• Failing to control flatulence.

• Being late.

• Asking for explanations of TV dramas, causing partner to miss plot twist.

• Obtaining reassurance about clothing, then changing it anyway.

• Making any attempt to complain about any of the above.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: yikes
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I guess the dutch oven is out!
1 posted on 05/17/2005 11:13:19 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant

LOL!


2 posted on 05/17/2005 11:15:50 AM PDT by cvq3842
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To: pissant
"They include nose-picking, burping and tatty clothes in men..."

In men? What if this is the woman?

3 posted on 05/17/2005 11:19:59 AM PDT by Hatteras
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To: pissant
• Asking for explanations of TV dramas, causing partner to miss plot twist.

I HATE it when someone does that to me!

4 posted on 05/17/2005 11:20:14 AM PDT by Bluegrass Conservative
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To: Hatteras
In men? What if this is the woman?

Guys don't mind it when women do that as much. We understand.

5 posted on 05/17/2005 11:20:49 AM PDT by Bluegrass Conservative
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To: Hatteras

tatty & skimpy is OK then


6 posted on 05/17/2005 11:20:51 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant
"The basic notion that things become more irksome over time has never been looked at before," he said.

Uh, yeah. Completely unexamined. It's only the plot of every single freaking sitcom in the history of the world.

7 posted on 05/17/2005 11:22:09 AM PDT by Question Liberal Authority (Newsweek Lied! People Died!)
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To: pissant

I find it bothersome when my wife won't explain the movie to me.


8 posted on 05/17/2005 11:24:10 AM PDT by sparkomatic (This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags!)
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To: pissant
• Making a partner spend far longer than they want to on shopping trips.

Then don't come shopping with me. If you can't stand the heat, stay outta the Bed, Bath and Beyond.

• Changing preset controls on the car stereo.

Try it and draw back a nub.

• Getting drunk despite lack of any obvious excuse.

Once and a while is OK, but on a regular basis is bad. If you're a mean drunk, it's even worse.

9 posted on 05/17/2005 11:24:54 AM PDT by najida (OK, so, ya see, uh huh.....I have this stress problem....maybe it's living without running water.)
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To: Question Liberal Authority

Everything you need to know was covered in I Love Lucy!


10 posted on 05/17/2005 11:25:10 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant

I love studies that tell us what we know.

Good use of money.


11 posted on 05/17/2005 11:25:46 AM PDT by Crazieman (If Con is the opposite of Pro, what is the opposite of Progress?)
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To: sparkomatic

Especially during the climactic scenes...


12 posted on 05/17/2005 11:25:50 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant
"• Tipping clutter from coffee table on to floor to make way for TV dinner. "

LOL! You only get one shot at THAT one:):)

13 posted on 05/17/2005 11:26:12 AM PDT by BobS
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To: najida

LOL. You're funny!

what about an amorous drunk


14 posted on 05/17/2005 11:26:55 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant; Dashing Dasher; BerthaDee; Petronski; cyborg; Liz

Pissant, do you think Michael Jackson left a wet nose on the bathroom floor? That would probably kill a romance, too....


15 posted on 05/17/2005 11:28:24 AM PDT by The Spirit Of Allegiance (SAVE THE BRAINFOREST! Boycott the RED Dead Tree Media & NUKE the DNC Class Action Temper Tantrum!)
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To: Crazieman

Indeed. When all they need to do is ask the expert, Pissant!


16 posted on 05/17/2005 11:28:38 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant

"Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers." -- Robert A. Heinlein


17 posted on 05/17/2005 11:28:48 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Violence never settles anything." Genghis Khan, 1162-1227)
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To: najida
• Changing preset controls on the car stereo.

Try it and draw back a nub.

LOL

18 posted on 05/17/2005 11:28:49 AM PDT by Petronski (Pope Benedict XVI: A German Shepherd on the Throne of Peter)
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To: BobS

What kind of wife makes you a TV dinner anyhow?


19 posted on 05/17/2005 11:29:11 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: Blurblogger

Could have. Though his idea of romance is a thought to unpleasant to contemplate!


20 posted on 05/17/2005 11:30:13 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: Mr. Jeeves

WOW. You must not be married!


21 posted on 05/17/2005 11:30:48 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant

Nothing in the list to discourage farting.


22 posted on 05/17/2005 11:31:52 AM PDT by newgeezer (Just my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary.)
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To: newgeezer

as long as they come up roses!


23 posted on 05/17/2005 11:32:31 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant

An amorous drunk?

Depends on HOW drunk he is....
I've got a few good memories after a night out and a bottle or two of Veuve Clicquot (which I still pronounce as "Verve Cliket")


24 posted on 05/17/2005 11:32:47 AM PDT by najida (OK, so, ya see, uh huh.....I have this stress problem....maybe it's living without running water.)
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To: pissant
"• Obtaining reassurance about clothing, then changing it anyway."

I get "Honey, does this look alright?" and after I say "Sure, it looks great!" the response usually is somewhere along the lines of "Hell, what am I doing asking you?"

25 posted on 05/17/2005 11:33:11 AM PDT by Hatteras
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To: najida

I wanna drink with you! ;o)


26 posted on 05/17/2005 11:33:26 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: Hatteras

Just don't tell her it makes her look fat!


27 posted on 05/17/2005 11:34:18 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick; MamaTexan; feinswinesuksass; MotleyGirl70; Hoodlum91; ...

Pissant the counselor PING


28 posted on 05/17/2005 11:36:31 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant
"What kind of wife makes you a TV dinner anyhow?"

When everyone just wants a fast meal. There are a few passable ones.

29 posted on 05/17/2005 11:36:36 AM PDT by BobS
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To: pissant
PA, here's a joke you might like at # 10.
30 posted on 05/17/2005 11:37:05 AM PDT by Argh
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To: BobS

I stock up for when the wife is out of town. 3 hungrymans usually do the trick!


31 posted on 05/17/2005 11:37:27 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant

Men will flatuate anytime any place and anywhere, in fact I was in the vegetable section and this man I swear about 70 walked by me and farted on me I could not believe it!!
then everyone walked by me looking at me like I did it!

I could not by my vegetables and had to leave ALBERTSONS!


32 posted on 05/17/2005 11:38:15 AM PDT by missyme (The Conclusion is:)
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To: pissant

Burping and failing to control flatulance...wow. Must be something wrong with our marriage, because both my husband and I have "failed to control" these things (in front of each other) for fourteen years, and we're still going strong. (In fact, it's a source of humor to us). Maybe we're immature, but we prefer not to sweat the small stuff (like gas), and focus on bigger issues, like supporting each other and remaining faithful, etc.


33 posted on 05/17/2005 11:38:16 AM PDT by CheapRock
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To: pissant

I loved loo rolls as a kid!

34 posted on 05/17/2005 11:39:07 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (WWJD - We Want Jack Daniels!)
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To: CheapRock; missyme

does your husband shop at Albertsons?


35 posted on 05/17/2005 11:39:35 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Is that like a Nutty Buddy?


36 posted on 05/17/2005 11:40:11 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: newgeezer

"Nothing in the list to discourage farting."

Um, flatulance IS farting. (Polite, medical term for it).


37 posted on 05/17/2005 11:40:21 AM PDT by CheapRock
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To: pissant

Thanks for the ping.

You always have the best advice!!


38 posted on 05/17/2005 11:40:35 AM PDT by Hoodlum91 (Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Ben Franklin)
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To: Hoodlum91

ANd for you my friend, don't drink your male friend's beer when he goes to take a leak! ;o)


39 posted on 05/17/2005 11:41:39 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: pissant

Culinary nekulturny...


40 posted on 05/17/2005 11:41:41 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (WWJD - We Want Jack Daniels!)
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To: pissant

Heck No..He shops at the liquor store for Molson!


41 posted on 05/17/2005 11:42:16 AM PDT by missyme (The Conclusion is:)
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To: pissant

"Does your husband shop at Albertson's"

No, and he's considerably younger than 70. But, he does "cropdust" in stores on a regular basis. (Truth to tell, so do I).


42 posted on 05/17/2005 11:42:30 AM PDT by CheapRock
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To: Tijeras_Slim
OK. Just think of me next time you eat this....
43 posted on 05/17/2005 11:43:26 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: missyme

Maybe I've worked in around sick people for too long.

Maybe it's because I worked with a really cool GI Dr.

Maybe it was the man I was married to.

MAYBE it's the genetic anomsia.

Whatever, farting doesn't bother me.
Nose picking, however, does gross me out :)


44 posted on 05/17/2005 11:43:35 AM PDT by najida (OK, so, ya see, uh huh.....I have this stress problem....maybe it's living without running water.)
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To: pissant

Stay away from men who drink BEER and Chomp on Broccolli and Pig Skins YUCK, YIKES, MAJOR STINK NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP!


45 posted on 05/17/2005 11:43:54 AM PDT by missyme (The Conclusion is:)
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To: pissant
I have two more to add...

Kicking the clean clothes {that I haven't had time to finish folding} off of the bed onto the floor so he can take a nap with the dogs.

Letting the 65 lb. dog jump into the passenger seat of my truck with muddy feet {on Sunday when they go get the paper} when I have important work papers lying there.

46 posted on 05/17/2005 11:45:32 AM PDT by ravingnutter
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To: pissant

Some Marie Callendars' and Claim Jumpers aren't bad to keep around. There's other frozen foods if you root around long enough.


47 posted on 05/17/2005 11:45:38 AM PDT by BobS
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To: missyme

I will take that advice. My fishing buddy has been banished from the tent for such behavior!


48 posted on 05/17/2005 11:46:04 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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To: najida

I think people should fart away from others not on them....

Silent Farts Smell so you cannot determine who it is in a public place...


49 posted on 05/17/2005 11:46:30 AM PDT by missyme (The Conclusion is:)
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To: CheapRock

Yikes. BTW, welcome to FreeRepublic.


50 posted on 05/17/2005 11:46:36 AM PDT by pissant (Dead Terrorists are a good thing)
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