Posted on 10/02/2009 8:30:41 PM PDT by se_ohio_young_conservative
First off. Our marriage is great. We love eachother so very much. My wife gave birth to twins in December 08. Obviously we stay very busy and most of our focus is on the girls.
We were both raised in a christian home. We were both christians when we met. Our faith was something that we had in common from the start and it was very important to the development of our relationship. I never had any doubt she truly believed even though she was more intellectual in her thinking.
Over time she has seemed more secular in her thinking and less intrested in going to church. She started having doubts and of course I told her there is a God and I prayed with her and encouraged her to look at scripture. She never pushed me away. But it seemed more and more like she was losing intrest in religion.
Even with all of that, I was shocked when she brought the subject up the other day. She told me that she has been afraid to tell me that she no longer believes in a God. she didn't want me to get upset with her. She told me that it is not a matter of not wanting to believe. She just could no longer believe. She went on to say there is no way the earth is 6000 years old. I did not get upset with her. I told her I still loved her. But I admit that it was very upsetting hearing my wife whom grew up in a church and has prayed with me so many times. it was upsetting to hear her make all of these typical atheist arguments against what she once believed. We had a very long conversation.
It has me upset. But I refuse let this ruin our marriage. A couple of days went by and she is still the same woman and I still love her just as much. I am just confused by all of this. and I am afraid it could hurt our marriage somehow. I don't want it too. I am afraid because I want her to go to heaven. I believe these are the end times. I don't want her left behind.
Is there anyone else out there who is in a marriage where one believes and the other does not ?
Obviously I am going to pray for her. But I don't think I can really preach or talk her back. I don't think it would work and I don't want to be a pain to her.
I just don't know exactly how to handle this. But I know that she still has a good heart. she is a wonderful and loving person. and she has good morals and values. I know that. and I know she is and will always be a great mother to our girls.
I don't want to let it hurt our marriage. How should I handle this ? i do have a lot of fear
The Bible says that the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters and points to the fact that the earth was a watery void when the Lord began the process. This was before he created all living things. The earth was already here for some perion unknown when life was placed on it. This creation is about 6000 years old. The family of man going back to Adam is about 6000 years old.
Blasphemy.
God wrote the scriptures? Wow, who knew? Tell me, why do you think it is that He chose to write in the third person - as in "and on the first day God said let there be light, and there was light." Why didn't He just say "on the first day I said let there be light...."?
You say you have a lot of fear. Some things we can’t get our heads around. God will take away the fear if you give the situation over to Him. Not just saying it, but actually giving it up to Him in total trust that He is working His purpose in you in His way and His time.
Religion and faith are two different things. Keep your faith in God. That alone should be all you need. Don’t rely on religion. It won’t fix a thing, and could just bring you more grief. Possibly already has. And it won’t bring her back to faith. Don’t try to sell her church or religion or make your practice or her lack of it in such things an issue. Love her. Unconditionally.
Sounds like you have a great marriage. None of us deserves even half of what you have. Stand back from it all, look at the big picture, and thank God for it. Know that when it’s all said and done, whatever the journey or the outcome, His perfect will is accomplished.
Fear not. God is in control.
Relax.
Love her. Why else would God put her there?
Trust God.
It may not seem like it, but this may end up just being a blip in your lives. May be preparation for you, your wife, or kids for plans God has for someone down the road.
Decide for yourself what advice here applies to you, throw the rest out.
God bless.
10+, eh?
He's got you by 51 days.
G-d still believes in HER.
Does she really think there was no Creator of this amazing world, of those precious baby girls, of everything beautiful, wondrous, or true? That this was just some cosmic chance??
Why not let her try some other ways of worshiping? Other churches, etc?
The earth is older than 6000 years, but that doesn’t mean that the Bible isn’t a way to live. Not every word in it needs to be taken literally.
People sometimes need to back off from traditional worship. Maybe she just needs to admire the work of G-d here on earth, and drink in the everyday miracles around her for a while.
One thing she needs is your patience. Your desperation can ruin things. People in a marriage do not have to agree on all things. She will change. So will you. It’s all OK.
I’ve been in a similar situation, both with my family and the woman I am hoping to marry. She’s a wonderful lady, but again, suffering in her past drove her away from church and she’s finding herself now. She told me the similar thing about how she liked a certain church, and I was devastated. I’m a Catholic, she wanted to be a unitarian, so she could have faith and what she considers her brain.
I’ve had friends that I regard as good friends, simply walk away and toss everything that the church gave them. It bothers me a great deal. I want to tell them off and say, look, you’ve thrown away a precious gift.
I don’t have any answers for you here. I’m lost myself in a solution. Love God. Love your family. Love her, but there are no guarantees in life. Unequally yoked is a killer, especially where there are children. I don’t believe she realises just how much she’s hurt you, or perhaps she simply doesn’t care.
I’d never leave my fiancee for the simple reason what we have been through together. Perhaps we’ll see each other in paradise, perhaps not. I love her all the same.
However, I can’t tell you what to do. I’ve lived my life in the faith for the most part alone, and I’ve accepted the fact that this may be all I get. You on the other hand have entered in with a life in the faith with a loving wife and family. The church is very clear, do not walk out on your wife, but do not bind her if she wishes to leave.
That’s about the only advice I have. Will pray for you and your family.
you are in my prayers.
But going through questioning about the existence of God is not always bad. Often it is depression, exhaustion, or needing to find a more mature faith (Paul has an area where he talks about people needing to stop being fed like children and become mature Christians).
Faith is a gift, but going through a “dry spell” is often a test of faith for a person. A mature person realizes that faith is also a choice that one clings to when the emotions leave you.
Usually I would send her to counselling, but without a good counselor, she could lose her faith (if the counseler was too strict a christian or if the counseler was an atheist).
Stick in with her, and say you love her no matter what. And if she is depressed in other areas, get her doctor to check her out...it could be post partum depression, low thyroid, or another illness (low grade hepatitis, post influenza depression etc).
The crux of her doubts are rooted in the human interpretation of God’s Word and the lack of faith of young earthers-— those who cannot understand time from God’s perspective.
On the contrary, this would be the perfect time to intellectually discuss the bible and the perfect time for both of them to explore other denominations.
Why is it important to you to put a human time interpretation on God’s amazing work of creating the universe and this planet and ultimately man?
You have been mislead... My faith in God is so complete— so intense — that I see the Satanic danger of the “young earth” interpretation of Genesis.
It is important to understand that the Bible is true as written. It has a time frame and we don’t need to make excuses for it whenever so called science comes up with something that causes the weak in faith to doubt it.
Atheists counter with a counter lemma -- not a dilemma, but a multilemma.
"There are a LOT of religions out there, and each one has its god. If I choose any one god, I'm almost certain to chose the 'wrong' one and get all the others mad at me, thereby increasing my chances of hell. If I plead honest doubt, the odds are good that the god or gods will realize that *they* put me in this position by not being clearer in evidences for faith; and the fault is theirs, not mine. So they'll feel sorry for me and let me off the hook."
The answer of course is that they are intellectually dishonest, since rather than trying to evaluate the claims and evidence for any particular 'god', they tend to parade their doubts, if not actually flaunt them: and spend most of their time trying to discredit any evidence for God they *do* come across.
It's funny, too, that groups such as "The Freedom from Religion" foundation seem to congregate more on University campuses in the US and Europe than places where religion really controls every external aspect of people's lives, such as Taliban-controlled Afghanistan, Pakistan, or Saudi Arabia.
Cheers!
Young conservative..WHY do you think your wife has lost her faith? Could it be she has been praying for something specific and God has not answered her prayers (yet)? I can only imagine the stress she is under caring for two toddlers..bless her heart.
Dig deep and you'll find the answers.
Its more likely that Satan has been going here and there and planting stuff to trick people into hell with him.
God is not the god of confusion. Satan is.
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