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Need prayers, something...please (vanity)

Posted on 07/01/2010 8:50:47 PM PDT by mom4melody

My daughter is going through a nasty divorce. Her husband is shacked up in their house with some skank he met on facebook. He kicked my daughter and his girls out into the night, she went back to Kentucky and got an apartment. He lied, took the girls to NY for a visit, kept them, and filed for custody. Per court order, they now switch the girls every 10 days. Last Monday, when they were picked up, the 21 month old had a bruise shaped like a hand and the 5 yr old said that "Daddy hit us." The court in NY is looking the other way. I've seen his meanness before and he doesn't want the girls, he wants to hurt their mother. Is there anyway to get this out of NY? I'll take prayers, legal advise or anything else. And please, no snide comments, when I asked for attorney recomendations all I got was snarky comments. Her father and I are about to have heart attacks over this.


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1 posted on 07/01/2010 8:50:50 PM PDT by mom4melody
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To: mom4melody

bump


2 posted on 07/01/2010 8:52:31 PM PDT by wolf24
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To: mom4melody

Will do.


3 posted on 07/01/2010 8:54:01 PM PDT by Steelfish (ui)
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To: AuH2ORepublican

Ping.

I don’t know if you know anything about NY child custody law.


4 posted on 07/01/2010 8:55:47 PM PDT by Impy (DROP. OUT. MARK. KIRK.)
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To: mom4melody

When you say the NY court is “looking the other way” — you mean their Dept. of Family and Child services or whatever it is called there? Basically, the dept. charged with investigating potential child abuse and neglect cases?


5 posted on 07/01/2010 8:56:11 PM PDT by wolf24
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To: mom4melody

At this point, I think your daughter’s only hope is to get the very best (and likewise expensive) attorney possible.

The attorney may be able to get an emergency order based on the abuse. I hope she took pictures of the bruises and has a witness to what her daughter’s told her.


6 posted on 07/01/2010 8:57:25 PM PDT by PhiloBedo (Time for a new tagline)
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To: mom4melody

LEGAL help needed.
Most States have ‘something’ which does not require $$$.


7 posted on 07/01/2010 8:57:46 PM PDT by elpinta (Jer. 10:23)
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To: mom4melody

Prayers sent. I hope to G-d your daughter’s situation improves. Especially for those kids sake.


8 posted on 07/01/2010 8:58:14 PM PDT by Jeb21
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To: mom4melody

Take photos. Take kids to local Social Sevices to give statement. Take statements, photos, and Social Services report to local judge for temporary custody order. Don’t forget to get a lawyer.


9 posted on 07/01/2010 8:58:17 PM PDT by VanShuyten ("a shadow...draped nobly in the folds of a gorgeous eloquence.")
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To: mom4melody

What IS it with men and skanks!!?? Why can’t they just say “Eeww! A SKANK! Better not touch it- you don’t know WHERE it’s been!” Oy vay....


10 posted on 07/01/2010 8:59:00 PM PDT by Frank_2001
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To: mom4melody

BUMP and prayer for mom, daughter, children.


11 posted on 07/01/2010 8:59:59 PM PDT by PGalt
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To: mom4melody

Will pray for your family.


12 posted on 07/01/2010 8:59:59 PM PDT by boycott (CAL)
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To: VanShuyten

I agree-this guy belongs in JAIL.


13 posted on 07/01/2010 9:00:15 PM PDT by Frank_2001
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To: mom4melody

O G-D, the Creator and Preserver of all mankind, we humbly beseech thee to protect the innocent, awaken the guilty; and forasmuch as thou alone bringest light out of darkness, and good out of evil, grant to these thy servants, that by the power of thy Holy Spirit they may be set free from the chains of sin, and may be brought to newness of life. Amen.


14 posted on 07/01/2010 9:01:19 PM PDT by Milhous (Confusion to our enemies.)
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To: PhiloBedo

Great advice. Tell her to ask around...someone will be able to refer her to a (pardon my language) ball buster.


15 posted on 07/01/2010 9:01:22 PM PDT by RoseyT
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To: wolf24

The childrens attorney, the judge, even our attorneys (who re getting fired tomorrow)....

The 5 yr old has had several meltdowns because she doesn’t want to go back to her dad) I witnessed them myself. The skank keeps calling CPS and the county police where my daughter lives and reporting her for child abuse (she met her 1 time). Even the KY police are sick of it. Our attorney is useless. His record with the Coast Guard is bad, he’s had more demotions then promotions....the police removed him from the home for domestic violence...what the heck does it take?


16 posted on 07/01/2010 9:01:36 PM PDT by mom4melody
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To: mom4melody

I can’t give you legal advice, but, I’ll certainly pray for the well being of your daughter, your grandchildren, your family, and for a good resolution to the whole sad situation.

May God bless and guide, and keep you all - especially those precious little ones - safe within His providential care.


17 posted on 07/01/2010 9:06:31 PM PDT by LucyJo
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To: VanShuyten

CPS in my county (Ohio, where the bruises were discovered) took pictures (with a cell phone). The’re not “conclusive” and our attorney said “we all know kids lie.”

I am beside so upset tonight my heart is about to beat out of my chest.

How do you fight this???? And the attorney was supposed to be good, and yes, he costs a forture.


18 posted on 07/01/2010 9:06:36 PM PDT by mom4melody
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To: mom4melody

Tell your daughter to go slow with legal stuff and let nature take its course. The dad sounds unstable and their may be alcohol or other drug abuse happening and the kids are just pawns.

Unfortunately, the more your daughter is angered over their treatment the more control her husband has over her.

The one thing your daughter did that often pisses off the courts is to move so far away. Bad move. It is presumed that kids need access to both parents.

Just go slow and let her husband show his hand by his actions and not by his words.


19 posted on 07/01/2010 9:08:49 PM PDT by Raycpa
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To: Frank_2001
What IS it with men and skanks!!??

I agree but what is with women and "bad boys"?? So that goes both ways.

......

This sounds like another sad case.

20 posted on 07/01/2010 9:09:33 PM PDT by GeronL (Just say NO to conservativecave.com, it rots your teeth!)
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To: mom4melody

Prayers for your daughter and her children.


21 posted on 07/01/2010 9:10:36 PM PDT by syriacus (OILbamaGATE: It's not about BP's costly leak. It's about Obama's stingy cleanup.)
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To: Raycpa

He kicked her out....we are from KY, and that is were family is. She was staying with HIS parents before she got the apartment and he took the girls the day she moved.


22 posted on 07/01/2010 9:12:44 PM PDT by mom4melody
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To: Raycpa

He kicked her out....we are from KY, and that is were family is. She was staying with HIS parents before she got the apartment and he took the girls the day she moved.


23 posted on 07/01/2010 9:12:54 PM PDT by mom4melody
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To: mom4melody

hang in there mom...prayers up.


24 posted on 07/01/2010 9:16:25 PM PDT by MountainWoman
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To: mom4melody

She needs to call the cops and file a report IMMEDIATELY at any sign of abuse. The judges don’t give a crap about pictures or stories- they only care about convictions of child abuse. I am sorry for the situation she is in- I am only cynical, because I went through a nasty divorce with courts who didn’t care about an abusive ex with a skank girlfriend (now wife).


25 posted on 07/01/2010 9:16:40 PM PDT by conservative cat
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To: mom4melody

http://www.maxwellvanryn.com/Practice-Areas/Procedure-in-a-Child-Custody-Case.shtml


26 posted on 07/01/2010 9:16:59 PM PDT by Raycpa
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To: mom4melody

I understand but the courts don’t but whats done is done. However she needs a good lawyer or other adviser to avoid mistakes like that and to avoid making emotional decisions. The environment she is in is one that has many advantages for her because she is the mom but also has many pitfalls because she is the one acting responsible for the kids.


27 posted on 07/01/2010 9:21:23 PM PDT by Raycpa
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To: mom4melody

First of all, don’t get over-anxious. Scumbags like your former son-in-law usually aren’t very smart, are lazy, and don’t make plans. This eventually all comes out in the end. If he has really hit the kids, that is a huge mistake on his part, and you should use it.

Get a good lawyer - interview a few first to see how they would handle the case. Take the kids to a doctor to get their wounds seen by a 3rd party ASAP. Voice concerns over abuse to the doctor. Esp. in NY, he/she will have to register them.

When you say the courts “look the other way” - is that really the case? Or do they have no proof of what your daughter claims? Or is it just that you aren’t happy they aren’t giving you the answer you want?

Your daughter is in a battle now - and it will be longer and more expensive than you expect, but she can win. Deal in facts, don’t get emotional, document everything, don’t take NO for an answer.


28 posted on 07/01/2010 9:25:16 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: mom4melody

Your state bar association should have references for attorneys to handle her case well.

Happy to pray for her, and the kids especially.

I’d take the bruised child to a doctor each time any allegation or evidence of abuse appears. Keep that professional record.


29 posted on 07/01/2010 9:28:30 PM PDT by Persevero (“What students would learn in American schools above all is the religion of Jesus Christ - G. Wash.)
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To: mom4melody

A judge on your side is worth more than a thousand lawyers.


30 posted on 07/01/2010 9:28:44 PM PDT by Kirkwood
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To: mom4melody

I would have been better once the children came home w/the bruises, bring them to the police station - they can take pics and you file a complaint.


31 posted on 07/01/2010 9:32:22 PM PDT by presently no screen name ( Repeal ZeroCare!)
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To: conservative cat

I am no expert in such situations, they all seem so sad.

But I do know if the police are called and there is a mark on the kids, there tends to be more active interference. This may unfortunately have the effect of your daughter suffering also, but when cops come to a house it puts different wheels in motion than just the court.

I don’t know if that’s a good or bad idea. Just throwing it out.

Also, if the child is in the father’s care, and she goes to the school nurse telling them Daddy hit her, that’s another layer of legality.


32 posted on 07/01/2010 9:37:33 PM PDT by I still care (I believe in the universality of freedom -George Bush, asked if he regrets going to war.)
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To: mom4melody
First off, I have prayed for the best outcome for all involved, especially the children. As is His will, so shall it be.

A bit of advice. You and your daughter are in a situation in which you absolutely must keep your wits about you. Any action which enables them to cry 'foul' in court will work against you. Find out the laws involved, what evidence is needed, how to date that evidence in a way which cannot be debated. Remain as calm as possible and build the case. Remember that you have to keep cool, because the welfare of the girls is at stake.

May God Bless you all, especially the children, who are caught in the middle somewhere.

33 posted on 07/01/2010 9:40:59 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: mom4melody

Without legal help, your daughter’s cause is toast. I recommend communicating through the courts and attorneys, exclusively.


34 posted on 07/01/2010 9:44:08 PM PDT by Havisham
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To: mom4melody

Do you know people? Specifically in Frankfurt that represent your area?


35 posted on 07/01/2010 9:47:16 PM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: Impy; mom4melody

No idea.

If it was my daughter, I’d tell her to hire a family lawyer from NY and to follow his or her advice.

Your daughter and grandkids will be in my prayers.


36 posted on 07/01/2010 9:54:12 PM PDT by AuH2ORepublican (If a politician won't protect innocent babies, what makes you think that he'll protect your rights?)
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To: mom4melody; Amityschild; AngieGal; aragorn; auggy; autumnraine; backhoe; bearsgirl90; bethtopaz; ...

Heart rending

END TIMES LIST PRAYER WARRIORS PING

CUSTODY, ABDUCTION, FLIGHT, MESSY DIVORCE, ETC.

I’d certainly contact the nearest local group of prayer warriors that had the best reputation for reaching God—particularly about such situations.

I’d insure that forgiveness was uptodate on everyone’s part on the side of the good—allowing God freer reign in dealing with the perp directly.

I might contact the best, most Godly active church in the area where the Dad lives and see if there’s anyone in that social network who works at Child Protective Services who might be able and willing to look into the case.

MAKE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT YOUR DAUGHTER AND YOU KEEP A DAILY JOURNAL SIGNED AND DATED DAILY. IF THERE’S ANY REALLY SIGNIFICANT THING RECORDED, GET A NON FAMILY MEMBER TO WITNESS THE ENTRY AND SIGN IT.

MAKE CERTAIN PICS ARE TAKEN OF THE BRUISES ETC. AND TAKE THE CHILD TO YOUR LOCAL CPS TO DOCUMENT SUCH.

HOWEVER, PRAYER WILL LIKELY BE THE MOST POTENT THING YOU CAN DO. I JUST ALSO BELIEVE IN PUTTING LEGS TO OUR PRAYERS WHEN WE CAN.

GOD BE WITH YOU.


37 posted on 07/01/2010 9:54:18 PM PDT by Quix (THE PLAN of the Bosses: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2519352/posts?page=2#2)
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To: mom4melody

Even if you don’t. Copy and Paste that post to print and go to your local City Hall. Tell them you have a case of kidnapping of your girls and you know what state they might be in. Tell them you need their help.


38 posted on 07/01/2010 9:54:34 PM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: mom4melody

I will say prayers. I also would tell your daughter or you to keep a diary of everything that is going on. Write everything down & date it if possible. Take pictures of when she sends the children to him (in clean clothes etc) then take pics asap when they come home. Note what clothes are sent & what clothes come back. Dirty etc. I would also take the children to the police in NY if I saw a bruise on them. If he returns them to her in KY if that is where she is, then get them to the police asap before he can leave the state if they show bruises etc. You may want to find out any info possible on his g/f. She may have a past that your daughter can use to keep the children away from her.... I wish your family the best of luck & many prayers.


39 posted on 07/01/2010 10:01:41 PM PDT by pandoraou812 (Merda taurorum animas conturbit......)
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To: mom4melody

The next time your daughter takes her kids to the dad, she should take pix of the before dropping thme off. Casual pix, not to upset the kids by making a production of it. Preferably with them wearing shorts or sundresses that would show most exposed skin. If they appear after that visit with any bruises, I’d take pix and drive immediately to the doctor’s or emergency room. Let the docs document the marks of abuse. Then report the SOB.


40 posted on 07/01/2010 10:04:05 PM PDT by EDINVA
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To: mom4melody

It is supposed to be very difficult to change an original parenting plan.


41 posted on 07/01/2010 10:06:01 PM PDT by MarMema
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To: mom4melody

prayer bump


42 posted on 07/01/2010 10:09:25 PM PDT by Captain Beyond (The Hammer of the gods! (Just a cool line from a Led Zep song))
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To: mom4melody; Quix

I’m praying for you and all involved. What a horrid situation to have to face.

Others have already given the best advice — take the children DIRECTLY to the police station the moment you get them back if there are ANY bruises. Don’t question the child yourself — let the department do it next time (God forbid there is a next time).

A good child psychologist would be able to notice indicators of abuse as well. [Be careful though - you have to be sure the psychologist is a SPECIALIST in children, otherwise it might be a waste of time, and may actually end up hurting the child emotionally. Be sure to interview the therapist before the child’s first visit. Ask what experience they’ve had in dealing with divorce and possible abuse issues (especially).]

Even if you weren’t dealing with the abuse, from the sounds of it the child might be having some rough emotional times simply from the divorce and upheaval (you mentioned the young ones’ breakdowns before going to see her Dad). At any rate, it might be a good thing to find a good psychologist and have the child (or children) seen. It may help to have a relationship established with a psychologist, and a psychologist calling CPS in NY would mean a LOT more than the other ‘side’ in the divorce case. Independent, and professional witness...

The local Police Department’s victim advocacy center/people can probably give you the name of a few recommended psychologists that deal especially with children (and who they use for expert testimony on cases).

Just a couple ideas...

Like I said though, I will be praying. As a survivor of child abuse it breaks my heart to see people who really WANT to help children in a bad situation, but are unable to for whatever reason. I pray this works itself out, ASAP. Stay strong, and keep praying and plugging along day by day - hour by hour if you need to. Don’t forget that God is there right beside us in times like this. {{HUGS}}


43 posted on 07/01/2010 10:25:28 PM PDT by LibertyRocks (http://libertyrocks.wordpress.com ~ Anti-Obama Gear: http://cafepress.com/NO_ObamaBiden08)
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To: mom4melody; EDINVA

I just saw Edinva’s post. A trip to the hospital with any bruises should probably be the first stop - unlike going to the police. Just like a psychologist reporting abuse, a doctor’s opinion would be just as valuable in regards to getting the courts to pay attention.


44 posted on 07/01/2010 10:28:44 PM PDT by LibertyRocks (http://libertyrocks.wordpress.com ~ Anti-Obama Gear: http://cafepress.com/NO_ObamaBiden08)
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To: LibertyRocks

WELL PUT.

THX.


45 posted on 07/01/2010 10:32:56 PM PDT by Quix (THE PLAN of the Bosses: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2519352/posts?page=2#2)
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To: LibertyRocks

We did that....went to the hospital, they called CPS....CPS is not concuring with what I saw with my own two eyes.


46 posted on 07/01/2010 10:37:37 PM PDT by mom4melody
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To: LibertyRocks; mom4melody

Docs/nurses/teachers are the ones most likely to follow through in filing a report if they believe it’s child abuse. I believe they are required by law to do so. And, their opinions carry some weight with the courts, especially doctors. That is important if the objective is to change visitation.

The police are already overburdened with crime and would not consider a mark from a slap worth pursuing. Similarly, in larger metro areas, Child Protective Service entities are positively overwhelmed with vicious child abuse. A slap would be considered as nothing.

I’m concerned, tho, that the husband kicked his wife and kids out of the family home. And felt that he was free to do that. Why didn’t she kick HIS sorry, cheating arse out? It may be too late to undo that terrible error in judgment, but she has to develop a spine and stand up to him if for no other reason than to protect her children. He has to learn he can’t pull that kind of stunt on her without serious financial and personal consequences.


47 posted on 07/01/2010 10:46:36 PM PDT by EDINVA
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To: mom4melody

Saying a prayer..


48 posted on 07/01/2010 10:58:56 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: mom4melody

I will pray for you.


49 posted on 07/01/2010 11:28:37 PM PDT by Grenada
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To: Grenada

Very sad situation. Prayers. Follow the excellent advice above and repeat. The social services department, like the post office, always has an intelligent person who recognizes a problem, asks a few questions, and fixes it.


50 posted on 07/01/2010 11:40:30 PM PDT by Falconspeed ("Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others." Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-94))
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