Posted on 07/01/2010 8:50:47 PM PDT by mom4melody
My daughter is going through a nasty divorce. Her husband is shacked up in their house with some skank he met on facebook. He kicked my daughter and his girls out into the night, she went back to Kentucky and got an apartment. He lied, took the girls to NY for a visit, kept them, and filed for custody. Per court order, they now switch the girls every 10 days. Last Monday, when they were picked up, the 21 month old had a bruise shaped like a hand and the 5 yr old said that "Daddy hit us." The court in NY is looking the other way. I've seen his meanness before and he doesn't want the girls, he wants to hurt their mother. Is there anyway to get this out of NY? I'll take prayers, legal advise or anything else. And please, no snide comments, when I asked for attorney recomendations all I got was snarky comments. Her father and I are about to have heart attacks over this.
Prayers for your daughter and her children.
He kicked her out....we are from KY, and that is were family is. She was staying with HIS parents before she got the apartment and he took the girls the day she moved.
He kicked her out....we are from KY, and that is were family is. She was staying with HIS parents before she got the apartment and he took the girls the day she moved.
hang in there mom...prayers up.
She needs to call the cops and file a report IMMEDIATELY at any sign of abuse. The judges don’t give a crap about pictures or stories- they only care about convictions of child abuse. I am sorry for the situation she is in- I am only cynical, because I went through a nasty divorce with courts who didn’t care about an abusive ex with a skank girlfriend (now wife).
I understand but the courts don’t but whats done is done. However she needs a good lawyer or other adviser to avoid mistakes like that and to avoid making emotional decisions. The environment she is in is one that has many advantages for her because she is the mom but also has many pitfalls because she is the one acting responsible for the kids.
First of all, don’t get over-anxious. Scumbags like your former son-in-law usually aren’t very smart, are lazy, and don’t make plans. This eventually all comes out in the end. If he has really hit the kids, that is a huge mistake on his part, and you should use it.
Get a good lawyer - interview a few first to see how they would handle the case. Take the kids to a doctor to get their wounds seen by a 3rd party ASAP. Voice concerns over abuse to the doctor. Esp. in NY, he/she will have to register them.
When you say the courts “look the other way” - is that really the case? Or do they have no proof of what your daughter claims? Or is it just that you aren’t happy they aren’t giving you the answer you want?
Your daughter is in a battle now - and it will be longer and more expensive than you expect, but she can win. Deal in facts, don’t get emotional, document everything, don’t take NO for an answer.
Your state bar association should have references for attorneys to handle her case well.
Happy to pray for her, and the kids especially.
I’d take the bruised child to a doctor each time any allegation or evidence of abuse appears. Keep that professional record.
A judge on your side is worth more than a thousand lawyers.
I would have been better once the children came home w/the bruises, bring them to the police station - they can take pics and you file a complaint.
I am no expert in such situations, they all seem so sad.
But I do know if the police are called and there is a mark on the kids, there tends to be more active interference. This may unfortunately have the effect of your daughter suffering also, but when cops come to a house it puts different wheels in motion than just the court.
I don’t know if that’s a good or bad idea. Just throwing it out.
Also, if the child is in the father’s care, and she goes to the school nurse telling them Daddy hit her, that’s another layer of legality.
A bit of advice. You and your daughter are in a situation in which you absolutely must keep your wits about you. Any action which enables them to cry 'foul' in court will work against you. Find out the laws involved, what evidence is needed, how to date that evidence in a way which cannot be debated. Remain as calm as possible and build the case. Remember that you have to keep cool, because the welfare of the girls is at stake.
May God Bless you all, especially the children, who are caught in the middle somewhere.
Without legal help, your daughter’s cause is toast. I recommend communicating through the courts and attorneys, exclusively.
Do you know people? Specifically in Frankfurt that represent your area?
No idea.
If it was my daughter, I’d tell her to hire a family lawyer from NY and to follow his or her advice.
Your daughter and grandkids will be in my prayers.
Heart rending
END TIMES LIST PRAYER WARRIORS PING
CUSTODY, ABDUCTION, FLIGHT, MESSY DIVORCE, ETC.
I’d certainly contact the nearest local group of prayer warriors that had the best reputation for reaching God—particularly about such situations.
I’d insure that forgiveness was uptodate on everyone’s part on the side of the good—allowing God freer reign in dealing with the perp directly.
I might contact the best, most Godly active church in the area where the Dad lives and see if there’s anyone in that social network who works at Child Protective Services who might be able and willing to look into the case.
MAKE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT YOUR DAUGHTER AND YOU KEEP A DAILY JOURNAL SIGNED AND DATED DAILY. IF THERE’S ANY REALLY SIGNIFICANT THING RECORDED, GET A NON FAMILY MEMBER TO WITNESS THE ENTRY AND SIGN IT.
MAKE CERTAIN PICS ARE TAKEN OF THE BRUISES ETC. AND TAKE THE CHILD TO YOUR LOCAL CPS TO DOCUMENT SUCH.
HOWEVER, PRAYER WILL LIKELY BE THE MOST POTENT THING YOU CAN DO. I JUST ALSO BELIEVE IN PUTTING LEGS TO OUR PRAYERS WHEN WE CAN.
GOD BE WITH YOU.
Even if you don’t. Copy and Paste that post to print and go to your local City Hall. Tell them you have a case of kidnapping of your girls and you know what state they might be in. Tell them you need their help.
I will say prayers. I also would tell your daughter or you to keep a diary of everything that is going on. Write everything down & date it if possible. Take pictures of when she sends the children to him (in clean clothes etc) then take pics asap when they come home. Note what clothes are sent & what clothes come back. Dirty etc. I would also take the children to the police in NY if I saw a bruise on them. If he returns them to her in KY if that is where she is, then get them to the police asap before he can leave the state if they show bruises etc. You may want to find out any info possible on his g/f. She may have a past that your daughter can use to keep the children away from her.... I wish your family the best of luck & many prayers.
The next time your daughter takes her kids to the dad, she should take pix of the before dropping thme off. Casual pix, not to upset the kids by making a production of it. Preferably with them wearing shorts or sundresses that would show most exposed skin. If they appear after that visit with any bruises, I’d take pix and drive immediately to the doctor’s or emergency room. Let the docs document the marks of abuse. Then report the SOB.
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