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Silence and Your Wife
That Christian Website ^ | 12/02/2010 | Travis Main

Posted on 12/02/2010 11:26:45 AM PST by hawkins

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To: hawkins
You know, I thought it would be ok for me to skip Valentines day every year.

While living in Lincoln, Nebraska I was walking in the mall with my wife. I noticed that every single outfit displayed by the stores was in stunning Nebraska red. I said, "This place is football crazy! I mean it's the middle of winter and everything is red."

My wife looked at me with a scowl and replied, "You idiot. Valentine's Day is Saturday."

"Oh."

Regards,

TS

41 posted on 12/02/2010 12:42:11 PM PST by The Shrew (www.wintersoldier.com; www.tstrs.com; The Truth Shall Set You Free!)
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To: hawkins
And then the fight started...
42 posted on 12/02/2010 12:45:39 PM PST by piytar (0's idea of power: the capacity to inflict unlimited pain and suffering on another human being. 1984)
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To: hawkins

Don’t foget the sucker’s game of buying clothes for your wife. There are 3 possible responses from her:
— “It’s too small!! I’m getting fat!!!” (49.5% chance)
— “It’s too big!!! You THINK I’m fat!!!” (49.5% chance)
— “It’s perfect!! Darling you’re the best!” (1% chance).


43 posted on 12/02/2010 12:47:18 PM PST by Elwood P. Doud (America, you voted for a negro socialist with an Islamic name - so why act surprised?)
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To: dfwgator

LOL!


44 posted on 12/02/2010 12:51:01 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: hawkins

*gasp*

I can’t believe you’re still alive to post! :O


45 posted on 12/02/2010 12:55:09 PM PST by nodumbblonde ("The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity." - Ayn Rand)
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To: hawkins

My ex once asked me if the dress she was wearing made her look fat.

I replied, “No, the dress makes you look dressed, the fat makes you look fat.”

It wasn’t the reason for the divorce, but it didn’t make the remaining time any better.


46 posted on 12/02/2010 12:55:37 PM PST by will of the people
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To: 21twelve
The joke at our house is:

He/she

1. Backed over the cat..

2. Ignored the "Maint needed light"..

3. Forgot a beloved pair of corduroy pants in the dryer for an hour..

4. Insert sin here:_________________________

And the punch line is:

And that, Your Honour, is why I shot him/her.

It always makes us laugh, regardless of the offence. Imho, one has to find ways to laugh as often as possible in a marriage.

47 posted on 12/02/2010 1:06:41 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: dangerdoc

You need to look at this.


48 posted on 12/02/2010 1:09:10 PM PST by dangerdoc (see post #6)
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To: hawkins

so far, I’ve basically just fallen silent whenever my wife wants a verbal sparring match...can’t argue with someone who ain’t talkin...

of course, we’ve been married less than a year. I’m sure I will need to devise new tactics as the years progress...


49 posted on 12/02/2010 1:20:17 PM PST by stefanbatory (Insert witty tagline here)
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To: Elwood P. Doud

I stopped buying clothes for my wife along time ago. It seemed futile to borrow my money from her purse to buy her something she was going to take back and get cash for to put back in her purse.


50 posted on 12/02/2010 1:36:03 PM PST by hawkins
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To: Responsibility2nd

Women buy emery boards to sharpen their tongues


51 posted on 12/02/2010 1:42:06 PM PST by bert (K.E. N.P. N.C. D.E. +12 .....( History is a process, not an event ))
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To: 21twelve

Self-ping for later uproarious laughter. This entire thread is fantastic!


52 posted on 12/02/2010 1:43:20 PM PST by MissNomer
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To: The Shrew
My wife looked at me with a scowl and replied, "You idiot. Valentine's Day is Saturday."

and you are "The Shrew"?

53 posted on 12/02/2010 1:48:35 PM PST by null and void (We are now in day 680 of our national holiday from reality. - 0bama really isn't one of US.)
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To: wagglebee

LOL! Always need the laughs. My husband has, “Yes, dear.” down pretty well now. Only took 15 years. :0)


54 posted on 12/02/2010 3:01:46 PM PST by samiam1972 ("It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."-Mother Teresa)
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To: Elwood P. Doud
Don’t foget the sucker’s game of buying clothes for your wife.

I'm actually batting 1000 at that! I've picked her up two different items out of the blue- both at a resale store. A nice blouse, and a complete outfit in her favorite color. Both fit her perfectly, and look fantastic on her!

Sometimes I'm the luckiest guy in the world :)

Oh, and just for the record- my wife disliked me the moment she laid eyes on me! I've been teasing her for years that she should have known I was good husband material from that :).

55 posted on 12/02/2010 4:13:54 PM PST by TexasBarak (I canceled a subscription, and used the money to become a monthly donor instead!)
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To: samiam1972

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwRrKaq0IyY


56 posted on 12/02/2010 4:25:19 PM PST by hawkins
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To: dfwgator

That’s funny.


57 posted on 12/02/2010 5:06:11 PM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: wagglebee

It’s hysterical....


58 posted on 12/02/2010 5:19:44 PM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: hawkins

Too funny. I wonder if some generations did that more than others? The same FIL figured out after the vacuum that this idea was a no no. However, a few years later he did purchase a lawn mower on MOTHER’S DAY. From my understanding, she left to visit her sister till late that night. Funny now but I bet it wasn’t then.


59 posted on 12/02/2010 5:43:44 PM PST by momtothree
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To: stefanbatory

Silence is Golden. People simmer down. It’s easy to not say harsh words, but not so easy to unsay them.

People can’t change others, they can only change themselves.

When I got married we had some really bad fights. It was horrible actually. We were both bad. Finally I just started holding my damn tongue and it made a huge difference. If I get very irritated, I just hold my peace and often pray - helps a lot, we rarely fight now.


60 posted on 12/02/2010 5:48:35 PM PST by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.CSLewis)
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