|
Posted on 09/01/2011 1:15:08 AM PDT by JustAmy
|
Nerd Overpopulation
This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!” He goes in and sits down.
The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says, “You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?”
The truck driver says, “I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I am hauling.”
The bartender says, “Okay, truck drivers are not nerds.” and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away.
The truck driver said, totally shocked, “Why did you do that?”
The bartender said, “Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don’t even need a license.”
The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen.
He can’t let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop.
The truck driver said, “What’s wrong? I thought nerds were in season.”
“Well, sure,” said the patrolman. “But you can’t bait ‘em.”
The Widow at the Farmhouse
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s station-wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.
“I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”
“Not to worry,” Jack said, “we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn.”
Nine months later, Jack got a letter from the widow’s attorney. He called up his friend Bob and said, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and visit with her?”
“Yes, I have to admit that I did.”
“Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?”
Bob’s face turns red and he said, “Yeah, I’m afraid I did.”
“Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!”
Have a Blessed Sunday.
|
Good night, Megs! Thank you for all your beautiful posts for the weekend. You are so dedicated and I appreciate all that you do! ((((hugs))))
You’re welcome, LUV. Thank you for the sweet comments.
(((HUGS)))
Thank you Meg for being here on this 9/11/11!
Your graphics and prayers were wonderful!
I think all you did helped us get thru this 10th yr.
I know it did for me!
God Bless You!
a BIG amen, MY DEAR!!!!
As I was talking with a gentleman whose wife had died, he shared with me that a friend said to him, “I’m sorry you lost your wife.” His reply? “Oh, I haven’t lost her; I know exactly where she is!”
To some this may seem like a rather bold or even flippant assertion. With so many after-death theories, one might wonder how we can be really sure where our loved ones go after death, let alone where we ourselves will end up.
Yet, confidence is appropriate for followers of Jesus Christ. We have the assurance from God’s Word that when we die we will immediately be with our Lord (2 Cor. 5:8). Thankfully, this is more than just wishful thinking. It is grounded in the historic reality of Jesus, who came and died to cancel our penalty for sin so that we could receive eternal life (Rom. 6:23). He then proved that there was life after death by exiting His grave and ascending into heaven where, as He promised, He is preparing a place for us (John 14:2).
So, rejoice! Since the benefits of this reality are out of this world, we can boldly say with Paul that “we are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord” (2 Cor. 5:8).
Read: 2 Corinthians 5:1-10
|
Ha Ha...Funny Graphic and poem.
Here’s one I wrote:
I’m having a yard sale from 10 to 3
Get a few bucks for some old memories
Here are some pictures of a man who was mine
He was no good, but the frames are still fine
A few cheap earrings and a locket and chain
I got Barrels and cartons and boxes of pain.
It’s never too late to let go
It’s never too late to feel again
You’re never too old to grow
Let go, and let your heart heal again
(excerpt from the cd “Blue Hill Avenue” c1995, ML/LTOS)
Happy Monday FRiends and strangers. *smile*
I had a busy weekend ... Marissa had a birthday party/slumber party invite for Saturday night. I should have been able to accomplish a lot.
My brother, Chip, went to see a granddaughter that he hadn’t seen for almost five years on Sunday, so ... I spent Saturday assembling a Family History book for her. Chip is doing sooo much better .. they put him on thyroid medication plus an anti-depressant. Amazing what the right medication can do.
Jr worked on getting my new computer setup yesterday but it is still in the living room. I’m hoping to get several software programs installed this week.
Yesterday was a day of praying for and remembering the victims of 9-11 and their families. Now, I will spend some time reading through yesterday’s thread. Thank you all for being here.
Wishing you a beautiful week.
Good Morning Meg.
Yesterday was such a hard day.
(((HUGS)))
Indeed it was.
(((HUGS)))
You did an awesome job with Sunday’s Opening, Meg. Thank you for being here for us on this sad, sad day.
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttle cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful
In the weavers skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern he has planned
___________________________________________________________ Happened upon this while browsing this morning ...
so I brought it here ...
I liked it.
Wonderful Psalms 46.
Thank You, Meg33
Thank you for being here.
Thank you Amy..As I said it was my hardest to do.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
