You know everything is not an anecdote.
You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting.
You’re a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They’re not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY!
“Honey, I’d like you to meet Del Griffith, he’s got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here’s a gun so you can blow your brains out. You’ll thank me for it.”
I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They’d say, “How can you stand it?” I’d say, “’Cause I’ve been with Del Griffith.
I can take ANYTHING.” You know what they’d say? They’d say, “I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah.” It’s like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll.
I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn’t pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh!
And by the way, you know, when you’re telling these little stories? Here’s a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener! “
Neal Page(Steve Martin) - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
That scene was the first one that popped into my mind! A true classic and thank you for posting the dialogue! Great rant.