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At the Airport
unknown | 17 Jan 2012 | unknown

Posted on 01/18/2012 5:52:42 AM PST by docbnj

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. “They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in very country.”

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, “There are three sides to every triangle.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.”

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: airport; algebra; terrorism
Definitely Nobel Prize material.
1 posted on 01/18/2012 5:52:44 AM PST by docbnj
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To: docbnj
I'll bet the perp regularly is in violation of the law:


2 posted on 01/18/2012 5:56:26 AM PST by freedumb2003 (Spoiler Alert! The secret to Terra Nova: THEY ARE ALL DEAD!!!)
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To: docbnj

3 posted on 01/18/2012 6:00:28 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Liberty Valance

X=5! you do not need to be a mathimatician to figure out that. Carpenters use a 3, 4, 5 triangle to lay out a square corner and such.


4 posted on 01/18/2012 6:04:38 AM PST by mountainlion (I am voting for Sarah after getting screwed again by the DC Thugs.)
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To: docbnj

Teaching Euclidean geometry....must be a home schooler.


5 posted on 01/18/2012 6:08:42 AM PST by spokeshave (Ron Paul finally lit a match after dousing himself with gasoline)
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To: mountainlion
Just use your dang tape measure.

6 posted on 01/18/2012 6:11:13 AM PST by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: mountainlion

worked with a few,union, people over the years who have never heard of the 3-4-5= square rule.


7 posted on 01/18/2012 6:16:17 AM PST by piroque ("In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act")
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To: docbnj

Funny stuff.


8 posted on 01/18/2012 6:23:07 AM PST by MayflowerMadam
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To: Liberty Valance

a square + b square = c square


9 posted on 01/18/2012 6:29:34 AM PST by fatboy (This protestant will have no part in the ecumenical movement)
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To: Liberty Valance

a square + b square = c square


10 posted on 01/18/2012 6:29:43 AM PST by fatboy (This protestant will have no part in the ecumenical movement)
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To: Vor Lady

Math ping


11 posted on 01/18/2012 6:50:10 AM PST by LongElegantLegs (Use it up, wear it out, make it over or do without.)
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To: LongElegantLegs

:-)


12 posted on 01/18/2012 12:24:28 PM PST by Vor Lady (Everyone should read The Importance of the Electoral College by Geo. Grant)
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