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News Headlines From Obama's 2nd Term
A Crystal Ball

Posted on 04/11/2012 11:20:05 AM PDT by Williams

The Obama Justice Department announced today that the last gun had been "pryed from the cold, dead hand" of the last Second Amendment agitator. The miscreant was clutching a homophobic Bible in her other hand.

The United States, still reeling from defeat by China, is nuked by North Korea for good measure. Obama denies any connection to his disarmament policies.

US Supreme Court Switches Superior S African Constitution for USA's "slaveholders constitution". Court cites the precedent of The Untouchables film, in which juries were switched in the interest of justice. Justice Kennedy recused himself from 8-0 vote due to a slaveholding ancestor.

Millionaires Confiscation Tax extended to those "lucky enough" to earn $20,000 per year.

Supreme Court upholds mandatory welfare payments to all Americans

Border Fence Dismantled Due To Rust Pollution

Former State of Arizona Sealed Off

Obama Memorial Dedicated By President Obama

Obama Endorses Holder As Successor "The next time we happen to have an election".

Obama Issues Amnesty And Apology

Defense of Just Marriage Act Bans Non LGBT Unions

Times Square National Debt Clock Self Combusts

Obama Says New IRS Robin Hood Division Is "Not Socialism"

Under New GM Bailout Terms, Company To Be Owned By Chevy Volt Owners

New Coal Power Plant Climate Holocaust Museum Opens In D.C. Shivering Crowd Honors Victims

Marlins Manager Suspended For Quotes Admiring Reagan


TOPICS: History; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 04/11/2012 11:20:08 AM PDT by Williams
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To: Williams
OBAMAPPOTUS
2 posted on 04/11/2012 11:26:39 AM PDT by FrankR
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To: Williams

MSNBC awarded contract to become first fully government-funded cable news network.


3 posted on 04/11/2012 11:30:44 AM PDT by mmichaels1970
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To: Williams

Obama presents Putin with oil drilling rights to ANWR

Obama to cede Texas to Mexico

Mitt Romney accepts position as Obama’s Gay Marriage Czar

Obama names self President-for-Life

U.S. military shifts mission emphasis from armed conflict to environmental protection

Obama signs executive order requiring Americans to purchase GM automobiles

Statue of Lenin to replace Lincoln’s at Memorial; site to be renamed People’s Memorial to Socialist Pioneers

EPA’s new Environmental Footprint Compliance Bureau (EFCB) begins review of acceptable square footage for Americans’ homes

Preparations begin for transfer of all 401K accounts to government control


4 posted on 04/11/2012 11:35:10 AM PDT by ScottinVA (A single drop of American blood for muslims is one drop too many!)
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To: mmichaels1970
Former State of Arizona Sealed Off

This one works for me ... I suspect we would have company though.

Other headline might be "Post presidential funeral procession race riot quickly squelched by National Guard and armed civilian volunteers.

5 posted on 04/11/2012 11:42:42 AM PDT by clamper1797 (Hoping to have some change left)
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To: mmichaels1970

MSNBC renamed to Pravda


6 posted on 04/11/2012 11:49:17 AM PDT by mnehring
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To: Williams
The Phrase, "Who Is John Galt?" Outlawed As Hate Speech

In Interest of Fairness, Western Religious Practices Banned-Churches Siezed As State Property

Governors Walker, Christie, Arrested for Anti-Union Legislation

Twelve Dollar Gasoline? Bicyclists Long for 'Good Old Days' of Eight Dollar-Per-Gallon Gas

New MSNBC Poll Shows Most Still Blame Bush for Poor Economy

7 posted on 04/11/2012 12:18:59 PM PDT by Lou L (The Senate without a filibuster is just a 100-member version of the House.)
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To: Williams

Meat consumption banned to save on green house gas prices, public health budget.
Following China’s example, one child policy implemented in United States, with mandatory sterilization upon next health checkup for women of childbearing age. Democrat voters exempt.
Mandatory dinner table checks implemented, to ensure mandatory vegetable purchases are followed up with consumption
Nursing home care costs plummet after Obamacare “final care” solution implemented.
Mexico signs illegal immigration agreement with U.S., returning fleeing taxpayers in return for citizenship of 100 citizens in the US.
Racist Asian-American who knows no official language complains of lack of English ballots


8 posted on 04/11/2012 12:33:08 PM PDT by tbw2
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To: Williams

Obama issues ‘Glorious Heros of the Revolution’ medal to all those that didn’t vote for his opposition...


9 posted on 04/11/2012 1:45:10 PM PDT by gogogodzilla (Live free or die!)
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To: Williams
I have an advanced copy if his 2nd inaugural address:

We shall crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of their women ...
10 posted on 04/11/2012 1:51:53 PM PDT by Scythian
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To: Williams

Directive 10-289 issued via Executive Order.


11 posted on 04/11/2012 1:52:13 PM PDT by Night Hides Not (My dream ticket for 2012 is John Galt & Dagny Taggart!)
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To: Williams

I don’t scare easy, but this gave me the cold chills.


12 posted on 04/11/2012 7:36:13 PM PDT by Shadowstrike (Be polite, Be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
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To: Night Hides Not

WHO IS JOHN GALT?


13 posted on 07/05/2012 11:14:27 AM PDT by oldtimer
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To: oldtimer
WHERE IS JOHN GALT?
14 posted on 07/05/2012 11:27:46 AM PDT by Humidston (For the first time in my adult life I FEAR my government.)
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