They had a smoked salmon fundraising lunch for the President at which he gave a speech. It was sold out–lox, talk and Barry O.
No way yes!
IBTP??
TOP TEN!
IBTP!
Happy Friday to all. Thanks Lucky9Teen for doing this thread.
In!
Now this is a really fun post! :-)
way2go
There are three types of people in the world.
Those that can count and those that can’t.
See.... a hydrogen atom has a positively charged proton and a negatively charged electron... together producing a neutral atom. If the electron is lost leaving only the proton, the atom becomes positively charged. Get it ? You're welcome.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Stephen Wright: “The other day I walked into a crowded firehouse and yelled “MOVIE!”
She was just a stable hand’s daughter, but all the horsemen knew her. (say it fast)
†Ħℑϟ ℐϟ ϟѺ ℱℛ€ѦḰℐИḠ $ℐℒℒẎ‼‼❣
IN! Before the end...
:o])
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro — what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
***************
In a Podiatrist's Office:
"Time wounds all heels."
***************
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
***************
On a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in. "
***************
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
***************
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
***************
On a Church's Billboard:
" 7 days without God makes one weak."
***************
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
***************
At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
***************
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.."
***************
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
***************
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
***************
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
***************
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
***************
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
***************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet? - Miss a car payment."
***************
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
***************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
***************
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
***************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
***************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.."
***************
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
***************
At a Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
***************
On the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
