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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 07/06/2012 6:11:27 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Life in a Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else —The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Play With your children.

Take time to get medical checkups.

Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

‘Take care of the golf balls first — The things that really matter.

Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled ‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’









TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: silliness
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To: sunny48

61 posted on 07/06/2012 10:14:24 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

62 posted on 07/06/2012 10:19:38 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: BenLurkin

63 posted on 07/06/2012 10:23:02 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: a fool in paradise
She's hot!
64 posted on 07/06/2012 10:23:13 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: martin_fierro

I was looking for that!

If movie goers want a prime example of a an “evil robot” they should start with Metropollis.


65 posted on 07/06/2012 10:29:17 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

Mr. Steven Blevins and Mr. Robert Jackson work together as executive officers for Meezorp Corp. One day after work Mr. Blevins had to get a message to Mr Robert Jackson. He called his office, but Mr. Jackson has already gone home for the day. This was a very important message. So Mr. Blevins calls his assistant to track down Mr. Jackson’s home phone number.

He dials the number and lets it ring three times. On the fourth ring, a person picks up the other line.

“Hello?” says the voice on the other end.

“Hello, this is Mr. Blevins, I’m looking to speak to Mr. Jackson,” said Steven into the receiver.

“I’m sorry, my daddy isn’t home right now,” said the little boys voice on the other end of the phone.

“Well, that’s ok, please take this message ....

Let him know that the 9:00AM meeting with China about revisions to the fourth quarter roll out of the HD-90 will occur at 8:00AM in the Metzger Room. I will pick up Joe Simms from Central Airport but someone else will need to coordinate Susan Birks’ pick-up from Lakeside.

“Did you get all of that?” asked Mr. Blevins.

“What was your name again?” says the voice on the other end.

“I’m Mr. Blevins”, Steven replied.

“How do you spell that?” asks the child.

“B-L-E-V-I-N-S” said Steven.

“And how do you make a B”, asks the voice on the other end. said the little boys voice on the other end of the phone.


66 posted on 07/06/2012 10:31:51 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Fools.Damn fools.Welcome to the USSA. Socialism is slavery to the State and the Supreme Court did it)
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To: MarineBrat

While I am speechless, this butt talks...


67 posted on 07/06/2012 10:44:56 AM PDT by Cyber Ninja
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To: Lucky9teen

Trailer METROPOLIS set to Macy Gray’s Oblivion.......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R-aDUVgV4s


68 posted on 07/06/2012 10:45:23 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin; CJ Wolf; Lucky9teen
That reminds me...

I slit a sheet; a sheet I slit.
Upon the slitted sheet I sit...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

69 posted on 07/06/2012 11:03:18 AM PDT by Cyber Ninja
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To: martin_fierro

70 posted on 07/06/2012 11:07:33 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: BenLurkin

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the widow said to the hired hand, “You’ve done a really good job and the ranch looks great. Go into town and kick up your heels.”

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town the next Saturday night. However, one o’clock came and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand.

He returned around two~thirty and found the widow sitting by the fireplace. She quietly called him over to her, “Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

“Now take off my boots.”

He did so, slowly.

“Now take off my socks.”

He did.

“Now take off my skirt.”

He did.

“Now take off my bra.”

He did as he was told.

“Now,” she said, “take off my panties.” He slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, “Don’t you ever wear my clothes to town again.”


71 posted on 07/06/2012 11:28:01 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Fools.Damn fools.Welcome to the USSA. Socialism is slavery to the State and the Supreme Court did it)
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To: Lucky9teen

“Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

Silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, “Ok, now what?”


72 posted on 07/06/2012 11:41:19 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Fools.Damn fools.Welcome to the USSA. Socialism is slavery to the State and the Supreme Court did it)
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To: Lazamataz

73 posted on 07/06/2012 11:46:16 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

74 posted on 07/06/2012 11:46:26 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Fools.Damn fools.Welcome to the USSA. Socialism is slavery to the State and the Supreme Court did it)
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To: Lucky9teen

75 posted on 07/06/2012 12:21:42 PM PDT by unique1
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To: Cyber Ninja

I’m not a fig plucker
nor a fig plucker’s son
But I’ll pluck figs
Till the fig plucker comes


76 posted on 07/06/2012 12:54:03 PM PDT by John O (God Save America (Please))
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To: BenLurkin
“unfortunately, I can't see the stove”
77 posted on 07/06/2012 12:56:43 PM PDT by llevrok (2012 : Elect Adults)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO in late TOP 100


78 posted on 07/06/2012 1:55:47 PM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: ShadowAce

I don’t mean to bother you, but I think someone just stole your pic...


79 posted on 07/06/2012 1:59:56 PM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: Lucky9teen

80 posted on 07/06/2012 2:11:54 PM PDT by unique1
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