The 10 worst movie remakes of all time (Who ordered the Total Rehash?)

The Orange County Register ^ | August 2, 2012 | Barry Koltnow

[EveningStar]

With the opening Friday of "Total Recall," thoughts immediately turn to the subject of movie remakes...

Remakes are nothing new in Hollywood, although movie studios prefer to call them "reboots" or "re-imaginations." For some reason, the word "remake" has a negative connotation among moviegoers. Perhaps it's because it seems like a lazy and unimaginative way to make movies...

[KosmicKitty]

That’s for sure!!

I remember one line from the male slave, Mammy’s husband, I believe, when Scarlett returned to Tar after escaping from the burning of Atlanta. She told him to go out in the fields and pick cotton and he said “I’m a house n*****, I don’t work in the fields.”

That wouldn’t fly today. Same thing goes for another one of my favorite movies, Blazing Saddles.

[dangus]

How could you mention hams in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and not mention her bf from 90210?

[dfwgator]

It will probably be more entertaining than the original since there won't be that totally fake looking conjoined fetus thing talking from the guy's abdomen and it won't have Ahnold IT'S NOT A TUMOH! Schwarzenegger. The original was okay, but just okay. Anything worthwhile was because it was an adaptation of a Philip K. Dick story.

Is the chick with "3 of Them" in the remake?

[Sparky21555]

No mention of “Clash Of The Titans”? There is NO CGI that can replace the stop motion of Harryhausen.

[aruanan]

Is the chick with "3 of Them" in the remake?

I wonder if that was a passing reference to Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6 from HHGG, who called Zaphod Beeblebrox the best bang since the big one.

[1010RD]

It’s just that he got rich doing it. What about the guy who owns the Star Wars franchise. He’s always remaking the first film.

[1010RD]

It’s the entire “creative” side of America. Imagine if the Brother’s Grimm had the copyright law of today’s America. You’d never have heard of Walt Disney.

The creativity in American media has been replaced by lawyering and lobbying.

[1010RD]

...or any big city Gay Pride Parade.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Yes she is;

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/369635/20120802/kaitlyn-leeb-total-recall-topless-three-breast.htm

[Ransomed]

“There is NO CGI that can replace the stop motion of Harryhausen.”

Completely agree. I still think the teeth of the hydra fight with the skeletons in Jason and the Argonauts looks great. But I don’t think the younger generations agree.

Freegards

[cuban leaf]

—I just re-read the source story. No actual trip to Mars. Covers little more than a city block, actually. And includes a second twist.—

I never read the book. I didn’t know that. Is the second twist in the new movie?

I own the old movie and actually enjoy it, once you get past the cheesy effects. And my firm belief is that, unless one believes in coincidence to the absurd, the whole movie is his Recall implant.

[stylin19a]

i know it's not a remake, but it belongs on every worst list everywhere.

[ctdonath2]

It’s a short story, a couple dozen pages or so. The implant, um, isn’t the interesting part...

[RedMonqey]

The Fog, Halloween, The Bad News Bears, Salems Lot...

The remakes are sooooo bad.

[count-your-change]

I didn’t think the originals were any good. The first Jackal was a classic, but that’s just me.

[MinorityRepublican]

Total Recall (1990) was nearly perfect. Hollywood should never had even attempted to remake the film. Anyway, I was watching the remake with my parents a few days ago. We couldn’t pay attention, the movie was just dull, all the major characters in it had no charisma. One of the flops of all time.