Posted on 08/08/2012 5:29:45 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot
PHRASES like “tiger mom” and “helicopter parent” have made their way into everyday language. But does overparenting hurt, or help?
.... Carol Dweck, a social and developmental psychologist at Stanford University, has done research that indicates why authoritative parents raise more motivated, and thus more successful, children.
In a typical experiment, Dr. Dweck takes young children into a room and asks them to solve a simple puzzle. Most do so with little difficulty. But then Dr. Dweck tells some, but not all, of the kids how very bright and capable they are. As it turns out, the children who are not told they’re smart are more motivated to tackle increasingly difficult puzzles. They also exhibit higher levels of confidence and show greater overall progress in puzzle-solving.
This may seem counterintuitive, but praising children’s talents and abilities seems to rattle their confidence. Tackling more difficult puzzles carries the risk of losing one’s status as “smart” and deprives kids of the thrill of choosing to work simply for its own sake, regardless of outcomes. Dr. Dweck’s work aligns nicely with that of Dr. Baumrind, who also found that reasonably supporting a child’s autonomy and limiting interference results in better academic and emotional outcomes.
Their research confirms what I’ve seen in more than 25 years of clinical work, treating children in Marin County, an affluent suburb of San Francisco. The happiest, most successful children have parents who do not do for them what they are capable of doing, or almost capable of doing; and their parents do not do things for them that satisfy their own needs (*) rather than the needs of the child.
.....
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Apparently 'overparenting' more true in the affluent communities.
A lot of studies/reports have been done on 'underparenting', and not the subject of this article.
ping
bmfl
bmfl
Best Mom For Life?
I’m trying my best to raise my kids with the right balance of what this article mentions. I’ve seen way to many kids who are now in their 20’s and have absolutely no direction, no problem-solving abilities, no incentive to get anything done, simply because they’ve been spoiled so much all their lives. They’re used to having everything handed to them and every problem solved by someone else.
My 12 and 6 year old get heaping doses of “Solve the problem yourself before bringing it to me” every day. If it’s one thing I do right as a parent, that’ll be it I hope. I can’t stand the sniveling, dependent, “fix it for me” generation that’s been produced.
BookMark For Later - when I have free access and time to read the article.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.