buy a pocket pen voice recorder and record conversations with him to CYA if neededI have been in situations like that and it has never improved. I had to move each time and the last 15 years have been almost perfect.
What do you do?
Had many bad bosses in my day, even more than one at a time.
Different points on the ladder of command.
My solution since I had a good job and didn’t need or want to quit, was to figure that at various times in my life, it was time to enjoy being paid well to eat S#it. No it doesn’t taste good, but it can do wonders for your attitude if you can stomach what is being dished up.
Tried my best to make myself indispensable, which in any job is maybe a tough act, but I survived and now I’m my own boss, and I’m not perfect either.
You can’t do much. You can either:
1. Stick it out until offered a severance package
2. Stick it out until fired and collect unemployment
3. Quit a live off of savings
4. Plan another career and take steps now to make that happen while you’re still employed.
5. Start calling your network contacts and get another job in the same field
6. Start contacting folks in other units/divisions in your company asking them if they have open positions
Get a copy of your boss’ resume and send it to every headhunter you can find...
Keep a log.
Document everything
Document your successes and failures
Document his actions and words.
Document conversations that appear to come from others.
Keep yourself busy.
Get a lawyer.
Sue for creating a hostile workplace.
You need a pattern, though, so make sure you have the documentation.
And start looking quietly, or bring your headphones and work like there’s no tomorrow.
It is always calming for me to pray and meditate every morning before work, ask for courage, industry and right action, and leave the outcome in God’s hands while I just do my best. Ask God to take care of the troublesome boss. Things will change and everything will be all right for you no matter what happens.
I mean really, can it get worse without being fired?
buy a pocket pen voice recorder and record conversations with him to CYA if neededI went to a seminar in the early 90’s where the presenter made a hell of a point. He said you are (fill in your name) incorporated. You hire out your services for compensation. When you start thinking this way, your situation will look different. If you are already there, then disregard this.
I left a job with a multinational company where I was essentially a guinea pig in an experiment to see just how much garbage I could take. I took a different job with a very small company with no safety net, but have thrived.
Now I am the president of this company and treat my 8 other partners as if they were family. We are all interconnected as in we all eat or we all starve. Very different working environment.
Best of luck to you and hope it works out.
I’m an old guy also. Just past 55 this summer.
I’ve been there and it didn’t get better; got worse. What got me through the day-to-day while job-hunting on the side was praying for this boss (a miserable, lying wretch who could put on a good “pleasant guy” cover as needed, but a total slime under the rice paper-thin cover). What got me “let go,” with severance, and brought me to 4 months unemployment; 6 months of a contract position, and then to my current job (which is so awesome!) was telling the truth. After a lot of prayer and 100% trust in God, I blew the whistle with six months worth of documentation of my bosses’ theft activities (recorded and verified on my own time). The board of directors listened to me and also listened to whatever smears the boss dreamt up (on company time, of course; he spent three days writing and I’d never seen him work so hard in the whole 4.5 years), and then offered me two options - either stay and have a hearing of sorts with the board ultimately deciding the outcome, or immediate termination with a big fat severance and agreement to not discuss what went on. I took the later, having no interest in giving audience to whatever the boss was saying and I was in total peace because I had nothing to hide and the truth was on my side. I proceeded to discuss exactly why I left in every single job interview after that and God connected me with the best job ever that I love and am so grateful for. I work with honest, hardworking people and have bosses that I respect, admire and enjoy getting to work for.
My main point is that I stayed in the truth, trusted God, and had wonderful friends in my life who listened to my frustrations and disgust about what I observed this boss doing and the way he shamelessly lied all the time. Praying for that boss every morning before work is the only way I got through it without melting down crying or opening up a can of outrage at that guy; a lot of mornings (and Sunday nights) I would cry just dreading going back to that office because it was so offensive to be around that guy.
I will keep you in prayer. One day this will be just another memory for you and I trust God has a better place for you to be of service and earn an income. In fact, congratulations in advance on your new job!
In FRiendship,
There’s a reason your boss is treating you the way he is... Remember, he’s in business to make money, and he wants performance. Ask yourself why he’s treating you the way he is and you may be surprised that it boils down to the bottom line.
Sit down and write it all out. What goals has your boss given and what did you do to meet those goals? What are you doing to impact the bottom line? Have you saved the company money by simplifying the way something is done? Have you made direct improvements in output resulting in lower cost or higher profit? Sadly enough, it’s all about money, and in this economy all bosses are under pressure to perform or downsize.
After you’ve written it all out, get back to nature. Take a walk in a park, hike through the woods, find a stream to soak your feet in... Get away from the stress for a while. Think about why you feel the way you do, and try not to find others to blame for your feelings. They are, in fact, your feelings.
Once you’ve really reviewed and understand why you feel the way you do (could be the same day or a week or two later), then get back to your desk and write out what your goals are to move in the right direction.
Get dressed up, show up for work early. Start setting the standard, raise the bar for everyone else.
Set up an appointment to meet with your boss, on your terms, on your turf. Show him what you’ve found, discuss your goals and how you want to impact the bottom line positively. The key is for you to get back in control. This will also give you confidence to move forward and to get back into the groove.
If you’re having problems with co-workers, don’t be confrontational but analyze and try to find out what you can do to either work well with them, or to at least keep them at bay.
Finally, if you are planning to move-on, don’t do it on bad terms. Do everything above, but bide your time and move when you’ve got everything going in your direction.
Remember that you’re in control of your feelings and your future. Whatever everyone else doing to hold you back is a waste of their time because you’re now like teflon: nothing will stick to you.
I’m pretty much in the same situation you’re in, but while I’ve been biding my time looking for the right time to move on, I’ve been promoted and given a very interesting opportunity to expand the business.
Keep a positive attitude and don’t let depression set in. Go camping, spend time with your family, exercise. Do not continue to stress so much about work, because you’re in charge of your life.
My torment lasted 3 years. I have seven bosses, and no, I’m not kidding. They rode me endlessly to get me to quit. I’d been there too long for them to get away with firing me. They decided they wanted a man in my job. I had no choice but to take their abuse, the job market being what it is in my area. I needed my job.
I was a basket case. They literally criticized everything I did. I hated to go to work. I dreaded it. I literally prayed and told the Lord that I would take the first step towards the door, but He would have to take the rest because I just couldn’t do it.
Then I had a Christian breakthrough. I realized that the Lord had provided that job for me and only He can take it away. They can’t fire me unless He says they can fire me.
That might at first glance seem trite, but it literally made all the difference in the world. He goes to work with me. I pray to do my best job and ask Him to help me achieve that goal. He does. I ask him to cover my mistakes and He does.
I no longer put up with their crap. I’m not disrespectful but I give no quarter. They no longer get away with attacking me because I stand up for myself. I face them head on. Again, I’m not disrespectful but I do address each issue as it comes up. I have literally been set free from that oppression.
If you have other options, take them. But if you are stuck there, try God. And yes, I do pray for them. Doing that in the right spirit took awhile though. LOL
“Kill-’em-with-kindness” has always worked for me in any situation, not just bad bosses.
Read the book, “The sociopath next door,”and see if that’s what he is.
I’ve worked for two certified sociopaths. They really think about ways to make employees miserable because that’s how they show their power. The more you appear disappointed or hurt the more fun you are to play with. Note, as you appear to react less they will double-down on the stuff they do to achieve a satisfactory response.
Since we work in a hierarchical society there’s not much you can do. You must decide how you’re going to respond and then practice it. Reading a few books like, “dealing with difficult people” will help. Meanwhile, you have to change jobs. If that means moving, so be it. You have to decide what’s worthwhile, your job/location or your health. As you respond less and less to the assaults your boss may decide to fire you.
Forget about management and HR. They’re there only to support the hierarchy. Even though they undoubtedly know about this guy they won’t want to face him so you’ll be the bad guy.
It won’t improve. You need a new job.
I have had a similar situation - my boss has actually been on the attack to threaten my career. He has stripped all my people from me and is then making statements about how I “seem trouble accomplishing the simplest taskings” when I can’t complete projects. Out of self-defense, I started making notes of every meeting I had with him and any policy that was discussed. If he gives me a verbal response to an email so I have no record of what he actually said, I send an email and “acknowledge the discussion, say what I thought I heard/understood and aske for clarification if I am in error. That way I hav e a traceable trail instead of “hearsay”. He recently tried to drive the spear home and I responded with a long list with a comprehensive history of the events that led up to it. I intimated that I considered it to be a hostile work environment and laid out specifics. I didn’t cadge it as a formal grieveance because he is ready to take another boss down with him and I wanted to see how it was responded to. The main problem did a 5 minute “down and dirty” and basically said I’m overstating/have no sense of humor/and didn’t need to aboide by it when management took my folks away. I took it to the other (who is over this guy) and we had a 2-hour chat. It may get better, but as long as the other guy has any possibility of ever being totally in charge, I’m keeping/maintaining/adding to my notes to insure that the retributions are not successful.
I know from experience that it is stressful and demoralizing - good luck and I’ll say a prayer for you.
p.s. if you don't already own one, but a DayTimer and fill it out daily as the day goes by, it has saved my butt more than once...