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The Best and Funniest Country (esp. the South and Mid-West) Expressions [Vanity]
Pharmboy | 9-21-12 | Everyone

Posted on 09/21/2012 1:58:04 PM PDT by Pharmboy

I have always enjoyed hearing those funny and clever expressions handed down from grandmas and grandpas in the heartland. I grew up in the east, but went to school in the mid-west, and some of the guys I went to school with had some great ones.

I would love to hear some of yours.

I will start with a few that I heard years ago, and ask you folks to add your own favorites that you heard from friends and family.

My dad (NYC):

"Busier than a one-armed paper hanger."

From a buddy from Indiana:

"Well, he stands out like two turds in a pan of milk."

"She's crazier than a half-f***ed fox during the heat season."

From a guy from Georgia who lived down the hall [said about a woman who was not particularly attractive]:

She sure ain't nobody's pretty chile."

A woman from Maryland as she goes to answer the telelphone:

"What kind of fresh hell is this?"

Now you go...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: heartland; sayings
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To: Pharmboy

Another favorite from Dad:

“He ain’t an a$$hole, he’s a hemmorhoid.

A$$holes serve a purpose in life. They evacuate waste. He is a bloated puss filled thing that painfully blocks progress”


141 posted on 09/21/2012 4:17:52 PM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: Pharmboy

Almost forgot....my mom, seeing Alan Colmes for the first time on Fox News: “That man looks like a frog peeping through ice!”


142 posted on 09/21/2012 4:18:16 PM PDT by CatherineofAragon (Don't be afraid to see what you see. (Ronald Reagan))
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To: CatherineofAragon

“He’s as crooked as a fish hook.”

Ha - and my Dad would say “He’s as crooked as a politician” describing anyone with questionable character.


143 posted on 09/21/2012 4:18:24 PM PDT by gopwhit
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To: Qwackertoo
another Texas saying

Rainin' harder than a horse p*ssin' on a ceeement slab

144 posted on 09/21/2012 4:19:32 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: familyop
“Nervous as a whore in church.”

Also a variant of that, in regards to a hot day, as "sweatin' more than a whore in church

145 posted on 09/21/2012 4:22:21 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: gopwhit

LOL, it fits


146 posted on 09/21/2012 4:24:29 PM PDT by CatherineofAragon (Don't be afraid to see what you see. (Ronald Reagan))
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To: Rutabega

(Looking at your pants)

Say hello to crackers.


147 posted on 09/21/2012 4:24:50 PM PDT by Sparky21555
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To: DiogenesLamp

“happy as a peetie bird”
“he don’t know up from izzard”
“saucered and blowed” (a texas style of coffee drinking from a saucer,not cup)
Every things ticket boo (a Canadian saying meaning all is better than OK)


148 posted on 09/21/2012 4:25:46 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: Pharmboy

“That’ll go over like a fart in church.”

“Colder than a well-digger’s ass in January.”


149 posted on 09/21/2012 4:26:38 PM PDT by Carriage Hill (Libs, dems, unions, leftist scum & murderous muzzies - are like bacteria: attack, attack, attack!)
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To: JusPasenThru

Hanging in there like a loose tooth in a hockey player.


150 posted on 09/21/2012 4:27:29 PM PDT by davetex (Sick of moochers)
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To: Pharmboy
from south Georgia, I was once given lessons in pronunciation:

"Honey, a pee can is something you put beside your bed at night. A Pecan (pee con) is something you eat.

151 posted on 09/21/2012 4:28:47 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: thefactor
From western Washington state (as a boy)

Now you're loggin' with steam! (as in doing great, In the real old days, logging was done with mules, ox and a lot of grumpy Swedes before steam power was introduced.

152 posted on 09/21/2012 4:34:49 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: varina davis

he looks like 100 miles of bad road
he’s crookeder than a country road.


153 posted on 09/21/2012 4:37:02 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: llevrok

I remember a bunch of young people explaining how to pronounce pecan.

I am from the Florida Panhandle and we say Pee Con. A little girl from Jesup, Georgia said Pee Can. I guess even in South Georgia some pronounce it differently.


154 posted on 09/21/2012 4:38:44 PM PDT by yarddog
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To: linn37

tighter than a crab’s ass at 6 fathoms (why 6 and not 4 or 20, I dont know?)


155 posted on 09/21/2012 4:39:25 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: RC one

slower than yesterday’s gravy


156 posted on 09/21/2012 4:40:50 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: Pharmboy

My sis in law, referring to an older gentleman, said “you can’t shoot pool with a rope.”

My granddaddy, rather than call BS, would say “horsefeathers”.


157 posted on 09/21/2012 4:42:23 PM PDT by Grammy
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To: M Kehoe
Don't ever want to hear that said to you.

Yup. Usually means a slam is coming so head for cover. And that slam is usually delivered by the sweetest southern lady you ever met - 'till now.

158 posted on 09/21/2012 4:46:25 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: BwanaNdege

or his brain was like a BB in a box car


159 posted on 09/21/2012 4:50:05 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: Pharmboy

“Busier than a one-legged [victimized class here] in an ass-kickin’ contest.”


160 posted on 09/21/2012 4:51:46 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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