how do you know a drummer is at your door?
then knocks get louder and faster.
how do clarinetists legally park in handicap spots?
they leave their case on the dashboard.
what does a tuba player say when he gets to his gig?
“do you want fries with that?”
how do you get a guitarist to play quieter?
give him music.
a young idiot wanted to join a band, but after trying many instruments, the band decided he was too stupid to play an actual instrument, so they gave him a pair of sticks and he became a drummer...
then he lost one and became a conducter.
so a music student opened a restaurant a while back and had a themed menu:
BBQ pulled Porkofiev . Marriage of Figarolls . Steakhausen . Elgarlic bread .
Ligeti and meatballs . Chicken Khatchaturian . James Levine ripened tomatoes .
Baby Bax ribs . Dvorak of lamb . Ives cream . Humperdinkel bread .
Veal-Lobos . Beeth-oven roasted chicken . Taco-mitsu . Esa-Pekka salami .
Chopin fried steak . Mousse-orgsky . Stravinsky lime pie .
Chicken Marsalis . Regertoni. Strawberio . Carmina banana .
Mozartichoke hearts . Creme Boulez. Dello jello .
Beverages : Jaegermeistersinger . Midori on the rocks . Prokoffee-ev.
i don’t know if i can Handel all the jokes. i must be Frank,it’s Strauss-ing me out and i’m getting a bit Lizst-less. it’s making Menotti. so Bach off, and Holst Orff on the jokes!
that’s it.. i’m done. i need some dessert. .some rainbow Shubert sounds good.
Didn't actually expect me to read all that, didja?
You can't be Bach. Schwarzenegger gets to be Bach. You have to be Handel.