Next week is National Science & Engineering Week
Posted on 03/07/2014 4:43:41 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Woohoo!! I’m in!!!
Go it.
IBTP! (?)
TOP TEN!!
When he first takes office, he is green. Then he turns yellow. And then he's rotten.
You can unscrew a light-bulb.
Have you heard about a guy who used to have dyslexia? He now has dailysex instead!
Naw suh...... don heah nothin
Dangit! IRATP!
Ghandi was into mysticism, was well known to be physically frail, and walked barefoot throughout his life, building up thick protective pads on his feet. What few people know is that his meager diet also gave him terrible breath...
Yes, he WAS a super callous fragile mystic with extra halitosis!
Earlier this week, our neighborhood gained a wifi network “FBI Surveillance van Number 2”
Top 20!
Answering he said, "I was walking across campus the other night and a beautiful blond rode up on this bike, stripped off all her clothes and said, 'Take whatever you like'. So, I took the bike."
"Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
email rec’d this a.m. Haven’t seen it before - sorry if it’s old.
DAVID LETTERMAN’S TOP 10 REASONS format TO VOTE DEMOCRAT
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.
#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn’t.
#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
#6. I vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that get police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
#5. I vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.
#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.
#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit
#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voter
…And the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it’s better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish here in America. We don’t care about the beetles, gophers or fish in those other countries.
one more email:
My Gun
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Remington 30.06 right in the doorway. I left 6 shells beside it, then left it alone and went about my business.
While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign near the front of our house.
After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there, right where I had left it. It hadn’t moved itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so.
In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people.
Either the media is wrong,
or I’m in possession of
the laziest gun in the world.
Well, I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.
Top 20?
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