Posted on 10/15/2014 6:19:57 PM PDT by Daniel Clark
The College Football Czar: Week 8
Week seven in review: One of these weeks, the College Football Czar will wise up and start picking the Mississippi schools to win. In truth, he remains skeptical of Ole Miss, but there’s no question at this point that Mississippi State deserves its new #1 ranking. The Czar did not doubt the quality of the MSU team, but had instead overrated Auburn, which set out to prove that its near-upset at Kansas State was no fluke.
For the week, the Czar only went 11-8, although he would protest the result of the Baylor-TCU game, if there were anybody who seemed to be in charge of this sport. Any fans who stuck it out through four hours and 14 touchdowns deserved a better conclusion than a totally delusional pass interference penalty to set up the winning score. Perhaps at that point in the game, somebody playing tight coverage on a receiver just somehow looked wrong. The Czar’s season record now stands at 92-56, for a .622 winning percentage.
Once again, the Czar’s picks are being released one day early, so that he can attend the Thursday night Pitt-Virginia Tech game at Heinz Field. As usual on a short week, he asks you to please excuse his relative unliteratude. Good editing is sometimes a luxury that just doesn’t fit into his budget.
Oct. 16
Virginia Tech at Pitt
The Gobblers have lost their last three trips to the Iron City, their last win coming in 1999, the last year before the demolition of Pitt Stadium. Last year in Blacksburg, however, it was the Panther offensive line that got smashed to the ground, as Tech tallied eight sacks in a 19-9 bruising.
Since his 214-yard performance at Boston College, Pitt running back James Conner has become less productive in each game, the more obvious it has been that he’s going to get the ball. Meanwhile, WR Tyler Boyd hasn’t seen the end zone in so long that he’s been texting it, just to see how it’s getting along without him. Boyd caught four touchdown passes in his first three games, but hasn’t had any in the last three, when more of his possessions have originated near the line of scrimmage. Not coincidentally, his team started out 3-0, but has now fallen to 3-3.
The Panthers’ only chance to win this game is with turnovers, which VT quarterback Michael Brewer just happens to keep in copious supply. Brewer has more interceptions than touchdowns this season (11-10), and has been picked off at least once in every game.
There’s nothing so strange about texting the end zone. Rumor has it that Manti Te’o used to write poems pitching woo to the yellow first down line. At least the end zone is really there.
Virginia Tech 16, Pitt 10
Oct. 17
Fresno State at Boise State
FSU finally beat the Broncos a year ago, but it wasn’t nearly as easy as many of BSU’s seven previous victories had been. After being outscored by an average of 31 points in this series from 2006 through 2012, they finally edged their arch enemies 41-40.
The Bulldogs revisited the scene of the bowl game beating they took from USC, and again played poorly at Sam Boyd Stadium, in a 30-27 loss at UNLV. Kicker Jonathan Leiva missed a potential 26-yard game-winner in regulation time, but how did it even come down to that against the 1-5 Rebels in the first place?
The Broncs’ recent trip to the Silver State was more successful, as they won their last game at Nevada, 51-46 in Week 6. Running back Jay Ajayi eluded tacklers as if they were hard consonants, rushing for 152 yards and three touchdowns.
The Dogs have shrunk the green “V” on their helmets, which is a curious thing to do, since its purpose is to identify the team with the greater San Joaquin Valley. Have they suddenly become embarrassed by the association? They must have just discovered that they’re purebreds, and turned snobbish. Curse you, Ancestry.com!
Boise State 42, Fresno State 34
Temple at Houston
Quarterback P.J. Walker may be dressed for slumber, but he has awakened the Owls’ air attack during their 4-1 start. Against Tulsa, the sophomore slinger completed fewer than half of his passes (15 for 31), but gained almost 20 yards per completion for a season-high 294 yards. The 35-24 final improves their record to 4-1.
The Cougars leveled their record at 3-3 by forcing five turnovers in a 28-24 victory at Memphis. If not for backup QB Greg Ward’s fumble through the end zone against Central Florida, they’d now be tied with TU and East Carolina for first place in the AAC.
It is said that you should never wake a p.j.-walker, even though he cannot possibly see where he’s going. That’s because the opportunity for slapstick is just too good to resist.
Temple 31, Houston 27
Oct. 18
Baylor at West Virginia
Lost in all the excitement of the Bears’ 24-point, fourth quarter rally against TCU is the fact that WVU stormed back for 17 points in the final six minutes to beat Texas Tech. Josh Lambert’s 55-yarder at the gun capped a 37-34 victory that dramatically improved the Mountaineers’ chances at a winning season. For Lambert, it was his second game-ending kick of the season, having drilled a 47-yarder to beat Maryland back in Week 3.
If you thought BU’s 61-58 win over TCU was ludicrous, you might not want to watch the third edition of this Big XII rivalry. In 2012, the Eers edged Art Briles’ team 70-63, but last year the Waco kids won on their home field, 73-42.
Until the authorities cracked down, the fans in Morgantown would burn couches to celebrate a big victory. There was one infamous case in which some of the folks in Waco did the same thing, but tragically, they’d neglected to take the couches outside first. At least that’s the Justice Department’s story, and they’re sticking to it.
Baylor 56, West Virginia 44
Notre Dame at Florida State
A day before this game kicks off, there will be news from Seminole QB Jameis Winston’s hearing for allegedly violating the school’s student conduct code. The maddening thing is that this news will probably contain no news. It seems highly likely that Winston will be found guilty of “sexual misconduct,” but the way the university defines that, it could mean anything, including “unwanted, unwelcome, inappropriate, or irrelevant sexual or gender-based behaviors, actions or comments.”
What an infuriating example of collegiate gobbledyspeak, that it would conflate something as gravely serious as rape with behavior so innocuous and trivial that one’s guilt is simply a matter of offending some terminally offended campus feminist. Have you partaken in any “irrelevant gender-based behavior” today? Are you sure? If you stood accused of it, what could you possibly say in your own defense?
For the second week in a row, the Fighting Irish were awarded a fourth-quarter interception, even after replays showed that the ball had been trapped. On each occasion, they converted the turnover for a score that proved to be the margin of victory, as they’ve edged Stanford 17-14, and North Carolina 50-43.
This year’s Seminoles are no match for their 2013 BCS championship team, but it hardly matters since those guys are not on their schedule. If they can get past the golden domers, their greatest challenge for the remainder of the regular season will be in controlling their own quarterback.
Why must somebody be punished for doing something irrelevant, anyway?
Florida State 37, Notre Dame 26
Washington at Oregon
If you’ve always hated the prevent defense but couldn’t remember why, last week’s UO-UCLA game should have reminded you. The Fighting Ducks had dominated the game to take a 42-10 lead early in the fourth quarter, but once they realized they had it in the bag, they sat back and allowed three touchdowns in the final 12 minutes. The idea was to keep the game in front of them in order to prevent the big play, so that they wouldn’t give up many scores in rapid succession, and the result was that they gave up many scores in rapid succession, for an uncomfortable final of 42-30.
What made it even dumber was that opposing QB Brett Hundley had proven incapable of beating them deep. By passively allowing him easy, clock-stopping gains of 12-15 yards, they were only playing right into his strengths. It’s inconceivable that they could have given up as many points in as little time if they’d stuck with their original defensive game plan.
The 5-1 Huskies evened their Pac 12 record at 1-1 with a 31-7 romp over California. Linebacker Shaq Thompson opened the scoring with a 100-yard fumble return, prompting the question, when a guy named Shaq scores a touchdown, is he taking it “to the shack?” (Answer: No, he’s taking it to the end zone for a touchdown, which of course is the object of the game. Just what’s supposed to be so much more exciting about someone taking a football to a house, the Czar has never understood.)
UW hasn’t won a game in this series since 2003, but coach Chris Petersen was 2-0 against the Ducks while he was at Boise State. A year after pulling a 37-32 upset in Eugene, his Broncos won 19-8 at home, in Chip Kelly’s first game as head coach of the quackers.
Mike Bellotti, then the Oregon A.D., tried to persuade Petersen’s team to move its end of the home-and-home series to China. But why bother going to China, when Duck alumnus and Nike CEO Phil Knight can make China come to you?
Oregon 29, Washington 20
Iowa at Maryland
Jake Rudock re-established himself as the Hawkeyes’ starting quarterback in a 45-29 win over Indiana, in which his 210 yards and two TDs inspired confidence, if not awe. The junior’s command of the game caused his coaches to abandon plans to continue splitting snaps between him and sophomore C.J. Beathard.
The 4-2 Terrapins have needed a week off to recover from the shell shock of their 52-24 crushing by Ohio State. One encouraging sign from that game, which should prove valuable in more even matchups like this one, is that kicker Brad Craddock booted a season-high 57-yard field goal. The junior, whose accuracy has improved each season so far, is 11-for-11 on the season, with six of those from 40 yards or longer.
Hawks’ WR Damond Powell could hardly be considered a damond in the rough, since most of his catches are highlight-reel material. Powell is exclusively a deep threat, who has averaged over 25 yards per reception during his 19 games at Iowa City. The only game this season in which he had no catches was also his team’s only loss, 20-17 to Iowa State.
If you think the Terps must feel silly in those clownish uniforms they wear, that’s nothing compared to the Hawkeyes, who have got to take the field looking like a team that just got their butts handed to them by the Cleveland Stinkin Browns.
Iowa 38, Maryland 33
Texas A&M at Alabama
Bama only managed to scrounge up 227 total yards against an Arkansas team that had allowed 523 in its previous game against A&M. The Crimson Tide only held off the Hogs 14-13, thanks to a blocked extra point.
An SEC-record crowd of 110,633 turned out at Kyle Field to see the Conjunction Boys collide with Ole Miss. Quarterback Kenny Hill riddled the Rebels for 401 passing yards, but he also committed the game’s only three turnovers, in a 35-20 letdown.
The current Aggie quarterback is not a prolific dual threat like Johnny Manziel, but the fans still love to see him take off with the ball. That’s because when Kenny Hill starts running around, they expect the band to start playing “Yakety Sax” any second.
Tide fans are mourning the death of Tommy Lewis, the fullback who illegally came charging off the bench to make a tackle in the Cotton Bowl against Rice at the end of the 1953 season. For that distinction, he is hereby posthumously given the title of Lardhead Emeritus.
Texas A&M 24, Alabama 17
Virginia at Duke
The Blue Devils went down to Georgia, and they were looking for a soul to steal. They were too late, though, because Ron Mexico skipped town several years ago. So they settled for taking a 31-25 decision against Georgia Tech, their first win in that series in over a decade.
Mike London’s team was in a fog in the second half against Pitt two weeks ago, when they watched a commanding 24-3 halftime lead dwindle to a final of 24-19. They only held on because of a defensive stand that was aided by a blown (and unreversed) goal line call, followed by a false start penalty. Still, it was their fourth win of the season, already doubling last year’s total. The Cavaliers are 2-0 in the ACC, having lost only to UCLA and Brigham Young.
As long as the Devil was willing to cheat by having a band of demons join in, then why didn’t he just conjure up an evil replay official to say that, upon further review, he’d won Johnny’s soul?
Virginia 22, Duke 19
Kansas State at Oklahoma
Like Alabama, the Sooners stopped their losing streak at one, but in the process solidified their status as national non-contenders. Say what you will about throwing out the records for big rivalry games, but that was a terrible Texas offense that they allowed to double their own yardage total. It was only because of two non-offensive touchdowns and 11 Longhorn penalties that OU prevailed, 31-26.
K-State is 4-1, with their only loss to heavily-favored Auburn by six, but they’ve only left the homey confines of Bill Snyder Family Stadium once this season. That was an alarmingly close 32-28 win over Iowa State, during which the Wildcats had to come back from a 28-13 second-half deficit.
Sure, they call it a family stadium, but everyone knows they still keep an adult section behind the curtain.
Kansas State 17, Oklahoma 13
Nebraska at Northwestern
Last year in Lincoln, WR Jordan Westerkamp caught a deflected deep ball on the last play of the game, lifting the Cornhuskers to a 27-24 triumph, in one of the unlikeliest endings in any game all season.
A week ago at Minnesota, the Wildcats fought back from behind all game long, finally tying the game at 17-17 midway through the fourth quarter, only to give up the decisive score on the ensuing 100-yard kickoff return. The 24-17 defeat was their first in Big Ten play, but it may be enough to jeopardize their postseason chances. At 3-3 overall, they must still face Iowa and Notre Dame, in addition to the Men of N.
The Huskers lost at Michigan State two weeks ago, but at least they fought back from a 27-3 fourth quarter deficit to make it a 27-22 final. Westerkamp made nine catches for 158 yards.
There has never been an escape from Westerkamp!
Nebraska 30, Northwestern 16
Missouri at Florida
Maty Mauk put out the welcome mat for the Georgia Bulldogs, who walked all over him and his Tiger teammates, 34-0. Mauk completed only nine passes, while being picked off four times.
As some of the recently dominant SEC teams are teetering, Florida leads a trio of resurgent East division teams. It has narrowly defeated the other two, Tennessee (10-9) and Kentucky (36-30 in OT).
The Gators couldn’t keep their grip on last week’s game against LSU, just as they were pressing to get within range for a winning field goal. Jeff Driskel’s interception in the final minute was returned into UF territory, to set up a 50-yarder to take the game for the Tigers.
A lot of people wonder why Mauk’s first name isn’t spelled “Matty.” But seriously, what kind of a name would that be for a grown man?
Florida 23, Missouri 20
Stanford at Arizona State
The Cardinal took two from ASU a year ago, winning 42-28 in the regular season, and 38-14 in the Pac 12 championship game. Wide receiver Ty Montgomery scored two TDs on each occasion.
The College Football Czar applauds Stanford alumnus and ESPN analyst Rod Gilmore for his campaign against the three-man front. Next to the squib kick, dropping eight men into coverage has got to be the stupidest play in football. With only three men against five offensive linemen, the opposing QB is almost assured of enough time to find a receiver before he is pressured, no matter how good the initial coverage may be. Gilmore watched his team give away its game at Notre Dame like that, and moments later, the same kind of passivity by USC let the Sun Devils burn them on a last-second bomb.
After Sun Devil QB Mike Bercovici threw that Hail Mary to stun Southern Cal, coach Todd Graham praised him for the loyalty he’s shown to the team. Immediately following the interview, Graham tweeted that he’s leaving to pursue his new dream job at Michigan.
Actually, the Czar just made that last part up, but would anyone be surprised?
Stanford 29, Arizona State 27
Purdue at Minnesota
There’s not much statistical difference between the Boilermaker quarterbacks, but there’s no denying that the team has fared better behind Austin Appleby over the past two games than it had with Danny Etling through the first five. Appleby’s errant pass ended his team’s upset bid against Michigan State, 45-31, but just being in that game, following a 38-27 win at Illinois, was a sign of dramatic improvement.
The Big Ten’s image has taken a beating this year, but they’re still playing great, traditional Big Ten football. Golden Gopher tailback David Cobb ranks ninth with 819 rushing yards, but he’s only #4 in his own conference. Indiana’s Tevin Coleman, Wisconsin’s Melvin Gordon, and Nebraska’s Ameer Abdullah are first, second and fourth, nationally.
Making a boiler is actually quite simple. Put a pot of water on a hot stove, and presto, instant boiler. So what’s the sledgehammer for, to break up the Oodles of Noodles brick?
Minnesota 41, Purdue 33
Oklahoma State at TCU
The Cowboys were dominated in the second half by a Goo-less KU team, during which their only score was a touchdown on the kickoff return following the Jayhawks’ tying score. The 27-20 final nevertheless leaves them tied with Baylor for first place in the Big XII, half a game ahead of Kansas State.
Junior Frog QB Trevone Boykin has not fared well in two previous starts against OSU, but he’s been remarkably consistent this season, averaging 293 passing yards per game, with 11 touchdowns and two picks.
If Texas Christian hadn’t blown that big lead at Baylor, they’d only have a couple hurdles left between them and a Big Ten title. Not that it matters, because Horned Frogs can’t jump. However, they can shoot blood from their eyes, which is really groovy.
What’s a Junior Frog, you ask? It’s kind of like a Junior Mint, but in “crunchy frog” flavor.
TCU 48, Oklahoma State 31
UCLA at California
The Golden Bears weren’t in a close, high-scoring game for a change, although they surely wish they had been, after getting whomped on their home field by Washington, 31-7. Cal could have taken the lead in the first quarter, but QB Jared Goff fumbled while trying to sneak the ball into the end zone, and it was returned 100 yards to put his team at a 7-0 deficit.
The Bruins have lost back-to-back games in the Rose Bowl, but they stand a good chance of going unbeaten away from home. They’ve already won two of their three toughest road games, at Virginia and Arizona State, with the third coming up in November against Washington. They’ve also won a faux-neutral-site game over Texas in Arlington, and after this game they travel to Colorado.
During the blue bears’ 42-30 loss to Oregon, there was a heated sideline confrontation between head coach Jim Mora and defensive coordinator Jeff Ulbrich, and the Czar isn’t buying the degree to which it was downplayed afterward. One of the Fox announcers weirdly referred to the exchange as “two passionate guys going at it.” Surely, that’s got to be some kind of an unwelcome gender-based comment or other.
UCLA 54, California 44
Kentucky at LSU
These cross-division foes don’t play each other every year, but fans wish they did, so we’d have more excuses to revisit the 2002 Bluegrass Miracle, and watch the footage of those dopey UK fans rushing the field, undeterred by having just watched LSU’s Devery Henderson cross the goal line with the winning touchdown.
This was a classic illustration of the Czar’s complaint about narcissistic fans making the event about themselves, and not really caring about the game. The real Wildcat fans were the ones who stayed seated and watched their team blow it, not the confused doofuses whose primary concern was how they could get in on the act.
The 5-1 Cats have got to be kicking themselves for letting the Florida game get away, because if they’d won, they’d now be bowl eligible. That’s no sure thing with their remaining schedule, which consists of Louisiana State, Mississippi State, Missouri, Georgia, Tennessee and Loisville.
Ex-Tiger Henderson pronounces his first name “DEV-er-y,” but the Czar thinks he should have changed it to “de-VER-y” – as in “de very Henderson you’ve been waiting for.” At least that would have been a little smoother than changing it to rhyme with Heisman.
Kentucky 26, LSU 24
Rutgers at Ohio State
RU quarterback Gary Nova threw no touchdowns and five interceptions in a conference-opening 13-10 loss to Penn State, and he’s tossed 13 TDs and just two INTs during the rest of the season. The Buckeye DL will try to replicate PSU’s pressure, and force him to throw the ball when he’s not comfortable doing it.
The lumpy nuts aren’t as defensively dominant as they’ve been in the recent past, but their D is taking a bit of a bum rap, based on having been involved in high-scoring games. People look at scores like 50-28 and 52-24 and think they must have been terrible defensive games, but the catch is that the Buckeyes won both games. Giving up 28 and 24 to Cincinnati and Maryland, respectively, is no catastrophe.
The Scarlet Knights may have trouble making it to this game on time. That’s because the name of OSU’s hometown has probably by now been changed from Columbus to Indigenous People, Ohio. After all, it’s not as if Christopher Columbus ever accomplished anything – like being indigenous, for example.
Ohio State 45, Rutgers 27
Clemson at Boston College
If you doubt the value of injured freshman QB Deshaun Watson to this Tiger team, just look at the career stats of senior Cole Stoudt. In four years, Stoudt has completed 148 passes for 1,391 yards, for an average of 9.4. A quarterback should be able to get at least 10 yards per completion, even if he’s throwing mostly screen passes, just by benefiting from the occasional broken tackle. If you’re consistently hovering around that mark for your whole career, you’re simply not using the depth of the field.
That’s a pretty good recipe for going an entire game without an offensive touchdown, which is what Dabo Swinney’s team did last week against Louisville. They only escaped with a 23-17 win because of a TD on a punt return, and a recovered fumble in the end zone.
The 4-2 Eagles allowed 120 yards on two first quarter touchdown drives by Nc State last week, but then held the Wolfpack to 97 yards for the rest of the game. BC rolled through Raleigh for 310 rushing yards in a 30-14 runaway.
The Bostonians are planning a big welcome for Cole Stoudt this weekend, but that’s only because they think it’s the name of a malt beverage.
Boston College 21, Clemson 19
-- Daniel Clark is a writer from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He is the author and editor of a web publication called The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press, where he also publishes a seasonal sports digest as The College Football Czar.
#HailState
Me thinks you’ve gone out on the limb picking some upsets this weekend. Passing midseason, only one or two can be expected each week. Picking ‘em straight up, your should do better than 11-8 last week, and .622 overall. But, I hope you’re right on some of these games. You’ve been dong this for a few years now and I always look forward to your picks. What has your pick ‘em percentage been for the past few years?
Nice call on my kittens (KSU).
I usually wind up somewhere around a .650 to .675 winning percentage, although right now I’m wallowing at .605. Last year, I finished .696, while still trying to pick the most competitive games possible. Honestly, the games were just a lot more cooperative last season. The purpose of these picks is just to make following college football more fun, though. Thanks for reading.
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