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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 10/17/2014 6:21:13 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen
what dudes wear for Halloween:
To: Lucky9teen
22
posted on
10/17/2014 6:46:45 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(Calories:Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a bit tighter every night.)
To: Lucky9teen
Michigan State Police have announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles, with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 2 tons of heroin, $12 million in forged bills and a ring of 14 prostitutes, all in a housing project behind the Detroit Public Library.
Detroit folks were stunned.
A community organizer said: “We be shocked! We never knowed we had a library.........”
23
posted on
10/17/2014 6:48:19 AM PDT
by
Arrowhead1952
(Guns are like parachutes. If you need one and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again.)
To: Monkey Face
In, and thats all that couts..
24
posted on
10/17/2014 6:49:45 AM PDT
by
EQAndyBuzz
(Ebola: Satan's End Game for Humanity.)
To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
The Anhauser Bush Legion. Someone might wanna remind them many of those Roman Legionaries were ...ah...well..sexually progressive in their views...
To: All
A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville.
He tells the priest, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama supporter.”
The priest says, “My son, I’m here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service.”
26
posted on
10/17/2014 6:56:57 AM PDT
by
Arrowhead1952
(Guns are like parachutes. If you need one and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again.)
To: Lucky9teen
27
posted on
10/17/2014 6:57:10 AM PDT
by
Slyfox
(Satan's goal is to rub out the image of God he sees in the face of every human.)
To: Arrowhead1952
28
posted on
10/17/2014 7:02:07 AM PDT
by
CatherineofAragon
((Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
To: All
29
posted on
10/17/2014 7:07:01 AM PDT
by
Arrowhead1952
(Guns are like parachutes. If you need one and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again.)
To: Lucky9teen
If E gets any closer, I am going to start wearing a sign:
Ebola Free Zone
That will stop it in its tracks!
[/s]
30
posted on
10/17/2014 7:15:13 AM PDT
by
TomGuy
To: Lucky9teen
Buck up - let me buy you a Michelle O lunch.
31
posted on
10/17/2014 7:18:56 AM PDT
by
relictele
(Principiis obsta & Finem respice - Resist The Beginnings & Consider The Ends)
To: Lucky9teen
Fourteen year old boys are placed on this earth so that fourteen year old girls will give more serious consideration to life-path choices other than marriage.
32
posted on
10/17/2014 7:35:42 AM PDT
by
MSU
(It is better to live one verse of Scripture than to memorize it all.)
To: Lucky9teen
33
posted on
10/17/2014 7:45:26 AM PDT
by
W.
(The 0bama Administration in a baseball metaphor: No runs, all drips and many errors!)
To: Lucky9teen
It was the first day back at school in Birmingham, England.
The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils.
“Mustafa al Eih Zeri?” - “Here.”
“Achmed El Kabul?” - “Here.”
“Fatima Bin Pardin? “ - “Here.”
“Ali Abdul Olmi?” - “Here.”
“Mohammed Bin Kadir?” - “Here.”
“Ali Son al En?” - Silence in the classroom.
“Ali Son al En?”- Continued silence, as everyone looked around the room .
The teacher repeated the call, “Ali Son al En?”
Then a girl stood up and said,
“Sorry, teacher, I think that’s me. It’s pronounced Allison Allen.”
34
posted on
10/17/2014 7:46:06 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(I fear the US government more than I do Syria)
To: Lucky9teen
35
posted on
10/17/2014 7:48:16 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(It ain't a "hashtag"....it's a damn pound sign, number sign, or octothorpe. ###)
To: Lucky9teen
Snotty Receptionist…
Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.
The waiting room was filled with patients. As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man.
But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, “NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”
The room erupted in applause! DON’T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS!!!
36
posted on
10/17/2014 7:49:11 AM PDT
by
Twotone
(Truth is hate to those who hate truth.)
To: Yorlik803
tomorrow is new car Saturday..
37
posted on
10/17/2014 7:50:20 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(It ain't a "hashtag"....it's a damn pound sign, number sign, or octothorpe. ###)
To: Lucky9teen
Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!
38
posted on
10/17/2014 8:05:40 AM PDT
by
Dr. Thorne
("Don't be afraid. Just believe." - Mark 5:36)
To: Lucky9teen
Two Mexicans overheard talking:
“I took my freend bowling and ebola pretty good!!”
39
posted on
10/17/2014 8:13:09 AM PDT
by
exit82
("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
To: Lucky9teen
40
posted on
10/17/2014 8:18:39 AM PDT
by
Domandred
(Fdisk, format, and reinstall the entire .gov system.)
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