In before ten!
In before 10!
A beautiful young San Francisco woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself off the Golden Gate Bridge.
But just before she could jump, a handsome young man stopped her.
“You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we’re off to Europe tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy.”
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. “What are you doing here?” asked the captain.
I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food, and I get a free trip to Europe.”
“I see,” the captain responded.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, “Plus, he’s screwing me.”
“He certainly is,” replied the captain. “This is the Sausalito Ferry.”
IBTP and top 10!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO top 20
TGIF!
In!
Can't stop now
Top 20.
Thanks Lucky19
FMCDH(BITS)
Top 25?
Random thoughts as we age ...
The biggest lie I tell myself is ...”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.
We haven’t met yet......................
I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pi$$ing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
I don’t have white hair. I have “wisdom highlights”. I’m just very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes” .
I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.
When did it change from “We the people” to “screw the people” ?
Well, it turns out that duct tape can’t fix stupid ....... however it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna
transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad !!!
I got to attend the eggroll at the Biden's last year. This is what I got.
"Ceterum censeo 0bama esse delendam."
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
