Posted on 08/06/2015 4:16:53 PM PDT by rickmichaels
When a child is throwing a tantrum, reasoning with the little blighter may be the last thing on a parent's mind.
In the long run, however, experts suggest it is the most effective strategy for improving their behaviour.
Using a punishment such as putting a child on the naughty step – also known as a 'time out' – can also be effective, but children need to know in advance that this could be coming if they are bad, experts say.
Scientists asked 102 parents how they dealt with 'toddler noncompliance' – naughtiness to you or I – on five occasions.
They found that reasoning was the most effective immediate response to mild misbehaviour such as whining or negotiating – when young children try and argue their way out of doing something.
Punishments such as the naughty step were least effective.
But when it came to dealing with more 'oppositional' misbehaviour such as defiance, hitting and 'passive non-compliance', reasoning was the least effective response while 'naughty step' style punishments were second best after compromising.
Over the longer term, compromise 'made all behavioural problems worse for the most oppositional toddlers', the study's authors Robert Larzerle and Sade Knowles found.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Ive found with my 5 children that a smack on the ass worked real well.
I usually graded my 4 toddlers temper tantrums on a scale of 1 to 10. Then I tell them when they are done we can talk. It never failed to stop them unless they pulled it on public. They always had leverage in public .
Also, we learned to never negotiate. We presented options and let them choose.
I used the Spock death grip quite effectively in the gro if mine were acting up. I did butt poppin’ at home, tho. ;)
Bingo, always worked ON me!
A famous Roman stated that morality (ethics) does not come by reason but by training.
Tase.
I also found the hand of all knowledge applied to the seat of all learning works well.
Agree !
Two vivid memories that get my attention.... early in life, The sound of Dads leather belt being drawn through the belt loops.... don’t think I needed more than a few of those lessons. The other, later in life, was a 12 gauge pump shotgun racking a round into the chamber. Both were attention getters for me ...... nothing wrong with corporal punishment properly applied to a young trouble maker.
My favorite idiot commercial - currently running:
Two kids are playing some kind of board game. Mom walks up and says, “how about some help with these groceries?” One kid smarts off with something like, well how about it. Mom then bribes him with some kind of food and the entire mess evolves into more stupidity.
I could just imagine me and my brother smarting off to our mother like that with our dad in earshot. Sixty years later and I'd probably still be typing this standing up!
Good to know. I usually end up “reasoning” with my son. He’s VERY well behaved except for minor naughtiness... which is entirely because I laugh at it, which encourages him. I try not to, but he’s so CLEVER I can’t help it.
And that’s why I’ve continued the reasoning approach: he’s waaaay too smart for me to rely on raw discipline as he gets older.
My kids never had leverage in public. I would walk them to a private or less intrusive area and let them wind it out.
Once there was a group of them I used to parrot the mantra before leaving the car : I expect you to be obedient cooperative and polite. We never left the car without everyone chanting it. They knew that if they weren’t they would leave early. No matter what. Nothing like sib pressure!
But also I did not have high expectations. Under three, only out to breakfast home by 10am. Eight and under only out to lunch and home by 2 to 3. Eight and over, could make dinner occasionally out, but home by 8 pm. No kamikaze visits to the local supermarket at six pm with toddlers.
We have 5, also—and you’re right. Sometimes, even the threat of a smack would do the trick.
I didn’t need to worry about my dad being within earshot — mom was quite willing and able to address such behavior herself. :=)
In public or at church, it was a short “very short” trip to the restroom. I remember maybe once or twice in public and ONCE at church. BTW Our church did not believe in “nurseries or cryrooms” You were in church in the pew with family from the day you were born
Remember our minister once went to the back pew, grabbed both his sons by the collar, and sat them down in the front pew. Never missed a word of his sermon
That was pretty much my wife’s plans with toddlers. We also learned we could avoid all sorts of problems by being aware of low blood sugar. Example, if having lunch out late we would order something that could raise sugar levels quick like milk or oj.
I used the DEATH STARE!!
We also learned we could avoid all sorts of problems by being aware of low blood sugar.
___________
Or the blessed bread basket!
Ha! I’ve used that, too....but then my younger one just starts laughing. LOL!
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