When was your last physical fight? What did you learn?

November 7, 2015 | lee martell

[lee martell]

I was on the stationary bike today, watching one of the TV's hung high on the wall. There was a bout of kickboxers just beginning. The only time I'm really interested in watching televised sports would be for activities in the ring and/or dojo. I tried to recall when was the last time, or one of the last times I ever put fist to jaw in anger? Training doesn't count. One is not even supposed to be in a boxing or martial arts class if you are too agitated, because that force will come out upon your training partner, who will have the urge to retaliate.

I've had a lot of experience in working with mentally ill adults, often much younger than myself. I've gone through training to chose the best approach when confronted by someone upset. First thing is not to escalate the situation if at all possible. That may mean not immediately responding in kind to every unkind word or unsavory tone. Second thing is understand you need not respond immediately to every perceived slight. But what if the tension continues to build? What if it becomes clear that ignoring the source or the troublemaker is not going to work. Third may be to speak with authority, possibly putting an end to the scene. Forth tactic is to let the person talk, some people just need to let go of built up tension. Maybe no one has been listening to them for quite a while.

I have to put on my (now dusty) Thinking Cap and go back, far back to the seventh grade. A classmate wanted me to take a duffle bag box to another area of the school for him. I knew that wasn't the school dufflebag, and that this kid had a reputation for drug dealing. I refused. The classmate took this as my way of saying that i was 'too good' to do anything for him or his friends. The banter went back and forth for a while, until the kid was 1 inch away from my face yelling about people like me, who don't think he's good enough to be friends with. I pushed him away, almost knocking him on his rear. We enchanged a few hits, not much. Mostly bluster. By that time. the school bell had rung for classes to change. The student didn't bother me after that, but I got dirty looks from his little Goon Squad for the rest of the semester. I'm sure you Freepers have better, more sizzling stories, but I don't really.

Even though my fighting experience was very minor, very quick and blood-free, I'm glad I had those few fights, because I felt a little braver about everything else after that. Learning to stay put and deal with a tense situation is a valuable trait.

Are todays' schoolkids ever allowed to fight without being put on detention or even expelled?

[laxcoach]

With regard to your question about fighting in school... Our school system has a “zero tolerance” policy. If you fight you end up in remedial school for a month, even if you are in gifted and are defending yourself.

My son is 12 and in 7th grade. Here is what this has done to the dynamics of bullying. Now even tiny kids can be bullies, because it is psychological instead of physical. Add the cyber part in and it gets more into the psych spectrum.

Kids can “say” things to each other via tech without having to look in someone’s eyes. They can do it in person without fear of retribution.

As a dad, I find that it makes me feel helpless. All it would take is a punch to the nose from my kid and a little punk would fold and never say another word. But I can’t have him do that. There are cameras everywhere.

The ultimate joke is that the athletic kid who is popular with girls is getting shit from the psychological, cyber bullies. It is crazy town.

There was an incident a couple of weeks ago where I decided that my son, who boxes, can’t hit the kid. But I know the dad and I am going to beat the crap out of him if he doesn’t stop his son. It stopped after that threat. Completely.

Last fight for me, not training, a bouncer jumped a friend outside a club when we were in college. We were in Buckhead (Atlanta) in the heyday around 1994. My dad was an MP and taught me a lot. I restrained the bouncer until the cops showed up.

[usual suspect]

Year 2000, Gull Island, Lake Saint Clair.
I was 49, some punk 1/2 my age tried to give me the “flying superman punch” sucker punch to my face. I got my Green belt in 1968 and managed to see him ‘flying” with my peripheral vision. Outward circular block and then I pummeled his face as he tried to take me down to the ground. I got tendonitis from hitting his face so many times. He got me on the ground, asked me a philosophical question “how’s that feel bitch”. I grabbed his neck with both hands, pulled his head down with all my might, rolled him over so all that was sticking out of the water was his nose, and pummeled him so hard that I had to be pulled off before I killed him...”effin bully.
After 39 years, I went back and got my Black belt in Tae Kwon do, took a year of Aikido, 9 months of Iaido.
Some guys won’t let you walk away from a fight, this idiot was showing off for his buddies.

[Ol' Sox]

Sophomore year in high school. Kid on the bus insulted my sister and I told him to pound sand. As we got off the bus, he yelled at me and charged. I took one step left and caught him in the mouth with a perfect, lucky right cross. He went down and I walked home with half of his front tooth stuck in between my first and second knuckles. Still have the scar 50 years later.

[HonkyTonkMan]

Bike Week, Iron Horse, David Allen Coe concert. Knucklehead on 2nd floor of deck tips his beer and spills it on me, laughing. In a flash I climbed up, knocked his beer bottle down, and had him held over the rail. Never knew what got him I wrapped him up so fast. My buddy pulled me down and I quickly made an exit.

I learned to respond quick, commit quickly,decisive. The element of surprise won the encounter. I also learned it was a foolish thing to do....cooler heads prevail. Spill beer on a shirt? buy a new one or go shirtless -- not worth arrest, lawsuit, medical, etc.

[Personal Responsibility]

I was always short and thin, didn’t have my growth spurt til 11th grade. I wound up being the picked on kid through most of high school. My last fight was coming off the bus in 10th grade, local neighborhood bully started saying stuff about me and I’d just had it. I dropped my backpack and said “you want to fight, let’s go.” He punched me once in the face but I was so mad I barely felt it. I punched him in the right temple, caught him clean too. He went down like a sack of potatoes. He started to get back up, I punched him in the same spot again. He stayed down.

Never hit another person, though I did dodge couple of punches at bars over the years.

[Personal Responsibility]

Yup. I don’t want to fight, I’m not jnterested in the thrill of the fight. But if I have to, I will and if I do I am just interested in making sure I win.

[Squantos]

Getting to old to fight ...... if I can’t walk away, then I either drive over em and let insurance company pay the tab or shoot em DRT. Life’s to short to be recovering from a fools folly. All that said ....be very ready to fight hard and fast versus “rasslin” with a threat.

The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either.
The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental. Practice and stay as physically fit and strong as you can at least once or twice a week through sparring with a skilled instructor.

Muscle memory is THE ONLY thing that is reliable under high stress IMHO.

As John Steinbeck once said as you mentioned......:o)

1. Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.

I believe Colonel Jeff Cooper said....

If you find yourself in a fair fight your tactics suck.

Stay Safe OK !!! Hope yer well !

[tx_eggman]

9th grade playing basketball on a driveway court. A friend got angry at me and started swinging. After it was over he had a black eye and every one there said I "won".

He got his kicks in too .. I learned that if that was what it took to "win" fighting should be avoided if at all possible.

[GenXteacher]

The last fight I broke up at work left me a bit sore. Then one of the students showed me a cell phone video...those guys didn’t look that big IRL....

[Oatka]

When was your last physical fight?

Summer camp, 1944 - dunno what it was about but I wanted to kill the kid in my 11-year-old rage.

Lots of near misses - my Guardian Angel worked overtime.
1) 1950s Navy. My shipmate was a short torpedoman 3rd class. Every bar we hit, didn't matter where, had sailors in it. Next thing, he's calling 'em "Surface Skimmers" (like "Jarhead" to a Marine) - we were submariners. Things go downhill from there and the next I hear is "Me and my shipmate will beat the crap out of all of you." I do my Tonto whaddaya-mean-we routine and drag his butt out of there with the lame excuse "he's drunk".
2) Lived in NYC then and 18 was the legal drinking age. On leave, I'd hit the local bat at 5 p.m. and shut it down at 2 a.m. Called some guy a fag and he threatened to cut me. The others said he had done it before. Went back the next few nights but he was a no-show.
3) NCO club 1980s San Diego. Civilian programmer now working for the Marine Corps. Went down there to install some programs in their PX system and was invited over for a beer. One Sgt., glass in hand, forearm across the bar, GLARING at one and all - you could tell he was looking for a fight. We locked eyes and I gave him the 1,000-yard-stare and nothing came of it. I begged off any future invites.

What did you learn?

Not a thing - until I grew up (when I got married at 27). After that it was, as others have said:
1) The three stupids rule.
2) Don't go drinking with short buddies, stupid or otherwise.
3) Better yet, stay away from bars.
4) Situational Awareness.

Lately though, at age 82 and after viewing politics, I'm starting to sympathize with this guy :-) :

[lee martell]

I know what you mean. I’ve seen that look before.
When somebody is crusin’ for a brusin’.

[lee martell]

You scared the ‘Spain’ outta that lady Gypsy.
Shock & Awe.

[lee martell]

Good technique. You ‘don’t need no doctor!’

[lee martell]

The instructor is excellent, and knows how to incapacitate with minimal effort. Good bone breaker moves too. Practice with caution!

[lee martell]

That reminds me of the cartoon skunk Pepe Le Pew, always flirting, always chasing the ladies for a smooch.

[lee martell]

It’s true. These are some of the points where every human being is vulnerable. But the attacker must hold his hand or his fist in proper position. Otherwise, the attacker could break his own hand while bashing a solid, bony area, such as the jawbone or the orbital cavity of the eye.

[Cap'n Crunch]

DRT... haha.. Dead Right There.

[lee martell]

Yes!! Attack when you are being attacked. This throws the assailant off, thinking they had picked a passive target.
This works in a physical fight and in a political or ideological fight. Yes.

[lee martell]

Ernest Hemmingway would have written a story about you.

[lee martell]

Everybody (even the Bear!) was Kung Fu Fighting, those paws were fast as lighting, in fact it was a little bit frightening.