Posted on 01/27/2016 6:05:49 AM PST by equaviator
The Michigan State Police Department said Tuesday that a man died after rolling his car on the ramp from the Lodge to I-75 was watching pornography while driving.
The accident happened early Sunday morning just after 3:30. Michigan State Police troopers were called to the ramp from the Lodge to southbound I-75 on a one-car accident. The preliminary investigation revealed the driver of the car was watching a movie while behind the wheel, police said on Monday.
The driver was not wearing a seat belt when he lost control and rolled the car. He was partially ejected through the sunroof and died on scene.
On Tuesday, FOX 2 was speaking with Michigan State Police troopers about a different story when MSP revealed the man had been watching pornography and masturbating while driving. MSP also said the 58-year-old man was not wearing pants at the time of the crash.
“He was partially ejected...” hahahaha
Was it a happy ending?
Imagine the eulogy for this guy?
“The driver was not wearing a seat belt when he lost control and rolled the car.”
I guarantee he was holding on to SOMETHING!
Was it still playing...?
That’s the thing next to a girl giving a guy a BJ while he’s driving.
Talk about literally being lost in the clouds...
(from the ‘50’s TV show ‘Highway Patrol’ with Broderick Crawford)
“Remember, always keep BOTH hands on the steering wheel.”
Now some nurse is stuck with the job of trying to loosen his grip.
Swell. Now I’m going to be bombarded with taxpayer-funded public service announcements reminding me to not watch porn and drive.
Reminds me of the “Chuckles the Clown” episode of Mary Tyler Moore.
Proof that porn kills!
Still, cant help laughing, no pants???
thank God he didn’t take anyone with him.
This reminds me of some old David Feherty quotes:
He said one day, “It would be easier to pick a broken nose, than a winner in that group.”
Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer, who finds very unique, colorful and uninhibited ways of explaining
or describing whatever is on his mind... (probably always on time delay these days).
Feherty Quotes:
“Fortunately, Rory is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”
“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”
“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife.”
Jim Furyk’s swing “Looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”
Describing VJ Singh’s prodigious practice regime - “VJ hits moreballs than Elton John’s chin.”
“That’s a great shot with that swing.”
“It’s OK - the bunker stopped it.”
At Augusta 2011 - “It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it.”
“That was a great shot - if they’d have put the pin there today.”
“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”
“That green appears smaller than a Pygmie’s nipple”.
The dangers of one-handed driving...
Keeper
The report that the man died was wrong.
I am very much alive!
Many of the usual responses to âAre we there yet?â now take on somewhat different meaningsâ¦
âIâm almost there.â
âIâll be there in a minute.â
âIâm close.â
Another article at The American Mirror says that he was driving a Toyota!
Was he driving a stick?
In case he has family, what a horrible legacy.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.