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I went shopping at Walmart...
Zero Hedge | 3-25-16 | poster at zero Hedge

Posted on 03/25/2016 7:02:05 PM PDT by dynachrome

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at WalMart for my dogs Shadow and Lady.

I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that No, I didn’t have a dog - that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, She asked : “Did you end up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned you?”

I said: No not at all; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass and a car hit me.

The guy behind her was laughing so hard, I thought he was going to have a heart attack!

Walmart won’t let me shop there anymore.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: humor
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To: dynachrome

LOL!

My son liked it, too!


21 posted on 03/25/2016 7:57:12 PM PDT by exDemMom (Current visual of the hole the US continues to dig itself into: http://www.usdebtclock.org/)
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To: Sawdring

That would’ve gone over better if you hadn’t been in Hudson, WI... ;-)


22 posted on 03/25/2016 8:02:01 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: grey_whiskers

Frickin Packers!


23 posted on 03/25/2016 8:10:36 PM PDT by Sawdring
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To: Sawdring

Incidentally, I've always thought there was a certain resemblance:


24 posted on 03/25/2016 8:17:20 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: dynachrome
People of Wal Mart My lovely daughter worked at a couple of Wally Worlds. No BS, it does get this crazy in those nuthouses.
25 posted on 03/25/2016 10:10:53 PM PDT by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: dynachrome

A good laugh when everything seems so bleak around here! Thanks!


26 posted on 03/26/2016 12:21:13 AM PDT by Squeako (Trump: "I put cyanide in the Kool-Aid, and my voters still drink it, okay? It's like incredible.")
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To: Impala64ssa
No BS, it does get this crazy in those nuthouses

I was running a TLE a couple years ago when a guy came in with a truck battery that he wanted to return. I told him that three things kept me from approving the return. 1 You don't have the receipt, 2 That battery is at least three years old (at this point he pointed to the five year warranty sign on the battery rack) AND 3, That is a Duralast battery from Autozone and security is on the way.

27 posted on 03/26/2016 12:43:57 AM PDT by Cowman (As Jerry Williams used to say --- When comes the revolution....)
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To: dynachrome

Funny! :D


28 posted on 03/26/2016 1:28:33 AM PDT by patriot08 (5th generation Texan ...(girl type))
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To: dynachrome; nuconvert

Important news about poor squirrels

https://twitter.com/DrScienceCat/status/692029938757713920 ;-)


29 posted on 03/26/2016 1:21:30 PM PDT by AdmSmith (GCTGATATGTCTATGATTACTCAT)
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To: dynachrome

Soooo funny! :D


30 posted on 07/08/2016 12:29:04 PM PDT by patriot08 (Post 5th generation Texan-(girl type) ANGRY? REFUSE TO VOTE? HELLO HILLARY!!!)
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