Posted on 08/19/2016 7:38:14 AM PDT by gigster
I was at my local Rexall Drugstore shipping out a package from UPS when I went outside and walked around the corner, my left foot shot out from under me almost over my head. After regaining my balance, I looked back and there was a Banana peel on the sidewalk behind me with a skid-mark underneath it.
Was the anvil okay?
You know those “Caution: Wet Floor” signs? They need a “Caution: Wet Floor Sign Ahead” at eye level. Don’t know how many of those I’ve tripped over.
Haha—good one! I just hope the motorcycle didn’t land on you. They are a lot heavier than a bike.
I must have been about 13. While walking down the sidewalk with my family and not paying attention I walked straight into a parking meter. The thing rattled like it was on a spring. I got laughed at real good. Half a block later I did it again.
Oh man, your guardian angel was watching over you! The same thing happened near here a few years ago. A man was discovered leaning over his truck by the side of the freeway.. only his back and legs were visible as the rest of him was under the hood that came crashing down, killing him. So many cars had passed by before someone realized the tragedy had occurred. Sorry for the solemnity on this otherwise hysterical thread.
We were in a canoe on a river and as we approached a low hanging limb on our left we all leaned right. Everyone in the other canoes thought it was hilarious.
The guys in the shop who lifted it off me were very amazed and laughing pretty hard as I was hugging everyone and jumping around the shop praising God, and I think I may have been talking in tongues, even as a normally reserved traditional Lutheran, I was very outwardly joyful.
Then, the boss tore me a new one for not checking the condition of the safety support, which was missing a crucial locking part. Oh, was he hot.
Living in Dallas in 1980s. There were many cheaply constructed apartments that looked nice but had their limitations. I had been out at the local watering holes and came home around pretty late. I opened the front door and looked up and noticed I was seeing stars. Not imaginary stars, real stars.
In my state I started processing this and quickly came to the realization that normally you don’t see stars from the inside of your place.
Turns out while I had been gone one of the neighbors had put a Duraflame log in their fireplace and caught the roof on fire. The firemen had been and gone and in the process had chopped a hole in the roof through which I was seeing the night sky.
All of this I slowly reconstructed partly with the help of others - but there was that one awkward moment when I was standing in the house thinking to myself “something ain’t right”.
I found several old rusty bicycles in the woods. I cut the front forks off of two or three of them and attached them end to end to the front fork of my bicycle. Cool. I had created a chopper! My front wheel was almost eight feet from my handlebars. I went riding down the street on my new creation. Everything was going fine, until I got up some speed going down a hill and crossed the railroad at the bottom of the hill. The vibration jarred my contraption apart. The original front fork on my bike dug into the asphalt, and as I was flying over the handlebars, I saw my front wheel continuing on down the street with one set of forks still attached to it. I did a somersault and landed on my back, with the bike flipping over and landing seat first on my chest.
Did 17 months in an Arizona prison Yuma Az..Yet again Yuma has gained attention due to its high temperatures. This time, a daily newsletter, 24/7 Wall St., listed Yuma as the hottest city in the nation last week in their article, “America’s Hottest Cities.”
The criteria was simple: In which city do the hottest temperatures persist for the longest period of time? Yuma came out on top, with an average of 175 days a year reaching 90 degrees Fahrenheit or above.
24/7 Wall St. based its conclusion off of the most recent historical temperature data from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. It was also noted in the article that the hottest cities often report low humidity levels, with Yuma typically getting less than 20 days of rainfall annually.
“Due to climate change being in the direction of heat and dryness, there is a certain amount of simple interest in where the country is the hottest and why,” said Douglas McIntyre, Editor-In-Chief and CEO of 24/7 Wall St. “Humidity and dry heat feel different. It could be a hundred degrees where you are, could be 95 degrees someplace in Florida but the humidity in Florida is 90 percent. It’s a completely different experience.”
My son used to do reserve duty at MCAS Yuma in the summer.
He said it was BRUTAL.
.
And there were no DRINKING FOUNTAINS on the yard,the LIZARDS left..
Being the “World’s Best Uncle” I babysat my sister’s 4 kids.
The most adventurous child decided to sled down the stairway in a laundry basket.
Not wishing the little demons harm I outfitted them with a motorcycle helmet and padded the basket with pillows and a seat belt and threw a beanbag chair in front of the front door.
Round one test flight had too much drag on the carpeted stairs. After an application of spray cooking oil to the bottom of our improvised stair speeder the drag coefficient was reduced.
Subsequent test flights improved performance and all the little darlings made runs while I videotaped the proceedings.
On the final flight of the day my sister came hope early. Edge of door, beanbag chair, basket with oldest nephew and a floor heating duct all interacted together catastrophically.
Little Styrofoam balls full of static electricity exploded everywhere. Then the furnace blower kicked on. It snowed in the front hallway.
I escaped with my life. My Father thought it was the funniest thing he ever saw when I showed him the tape. Mom not so much.
For years anytime I sat the kids it was at my house.
The kids now have kids of their own. Our last project was a sono-tube bungie cord cannon to launch kids onto a trampoline in the yard. And Yes I made them wear a helmet.
That’s so epic.
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