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Chapters 1-4 of my new novel, "Dimensions" (first draft)
Original Content | 3/5/2024 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 03/05/2024 5:25:36 AM PST by Lazamataz

CHAPTER ONE: The Fight

“Have you lost your f****g mind?!”

Mark drew his wrist across his mouth and quickly looked at the smear of blood on his shirt sleeve. He watched, warily, he and Jason slowly circled one another. Jason was utterly expressionless, Mark noticed, as they both prepared to continue their fight.

Jason said nothing in response, but instead lunged forward again with another attack. Mark was not a large man, not like Jason, but he had taken martial arts classes and was skilled enough to ward off Jason’s punches. Mark refused to attack – Jason was his best friend of twenty years! -- but he was capable of at least defending himself.

After two or three more unsuccessful attacks by Jason, the men separated, both breathing heavily. Jason spoke up: “I will have your fiancée. Give up, Mark.”

Mark slowly backed away from his former friend. “Jason! What has gotten into you! What the f*** are you talking about, ‘You will have my fiancée’? That’s some pretty crazy s**t!”

Jason’s face still showed no emotion. He apparently realized that he was not going to defeat Mark in a physical fight, because he allowed Mark to back away and slowly lowered his arms. He repeated, in a flat emotionless voice, “I will have your fiancée.”

And with that, Jason turned and walked away, descending down the stairs.

Mark stood there, listening to Jason’s steps becoming more distant. Why would his best friend of slightly over twenty years have lured him to this private place, where he could launch this entirely unprovoked attack? And what was this insane talk of ‘having my fiancée’, he asked himself. Something was very different about Jason. Something sinister.

He waited in the dusk for ten minutes, partly to ensure that Jason was really gone and partly to compose himself. He slowly descended the stairs of the abandoned building, scanning for his friend-turned-adversary at every step. He made it to his car, entered it and locked the doors. He sat there for a moment, considering the events of the last hour. Jason had made some lame excuse to get him alone in the abandoned two-story building – something about acquiring the building and opening a restaurant on the first floor, and would Mark be interested in going into the venture with him. Jason had acquired the keys to the building from a real estate agent, and they would look over the site together.

Mark had little interest in investing in a restaurant with his old friend, not since his incredible opportunity to be part of the team that would initiate First Contact with the Aliens so long ago… but out of courtesy to his dearest friend, he was willing to put in an appearance and humor the man a little.

Well, that was a mistake, he thought. He’d wait a day and contact Jason on his cell phone and find out what the hell was going on.

He started his car and drove the short distance to his home. He exited his car, scanned the area around his house, and walked to the door. I really need to get a gun, he thought, although even after the unprovoked attack he’d still be hard-pressed to shoot his long-time friend. Nonetheless, now that he was somewhat famous for leading the First Contact team, various fanatics, fans, and other people might seek him out for whatever reason. Better safe than sorry, right?

When he entered his house, his beautiful fiancée Sarah looked up from her computer and called out cheerily, “Hi honey!” Her face fell as she saw his swollen lip and the smear of blood on his cheek. “What happened?!”, she exclaimed in concern.

“You wouldn’t believe this s**t if I told you. Jason attacked me for no reason! Well, there was a reason, but it was completely crazy.”

“But… what? I thought…” she started.

“I know. Listen, let me clean up, and we’ll talk.”

He turned and entered the bathroom. He took off his bloodied shirt and inspected his image in the mirror. Not too bad, he thought, as he washed the blood from his face. Perhaps those years of martial training had actually paid off.

CHAPTER TWO: The Phone Call

The rest of the night was uneventful. He explained what Jason had done, and what he had said. Sarah was aghast at Jason’s actions, of course, and reassured her fiancee that she would never date Jason… especially after what he had just done!

Jason was a larger man than Mark, classically handsome, and with a fit body. Mark, who was not nearly as handsome, and was somewhat shorter, was always grateful that Sarah found something she loved about him. She was an amazingly good looking woman, with the face of a supermodel and a body to match.

Mark was the leader of the First Contact team that had begun translating the strange language of the aliens about twenty-five months ago. About three months prior to that, glowing disks had appeared over every major capital of nearly every nation in the world. At the District of Colombia, Beijing, Moscow, Paris, Berlin (and many more) these stationary, glowing discs appeared over Capital Buildings simultaneously and across the globe. As a language expert and computer wizard, Mark was a natural choice to lead the First Contact effort.

More than two years earlier – twenty-eight months ago, to be exact -- he received a call from someone claiming that the Secretary of the State wished to talk to him.

“Doctor Rappaport? Please stay on the line.”

A few moments passed.

“Doctor Rappaport. This is Secretary Tom Hanover. You are, no doubt, aware of the odd UFO’s hovering over everyone’s capital cities?”

“Well yes, Secretary,” Mark responded, somewhat irritated at the question. That was all the internet, news programs, and newspapers could talk about.

“Well sir, we are forming a team to try to decode the signals that are being emitted from these UFO’s. You are one of the leading experts in language and linguistics throughout the entire world. We would love to have you lead a group that we call the ‘First Contact’ team.”

He paused. The enormity of this question impacted him like a hammer to the temple. Composing himself, he responded.

“I’d love to be part of this team! We’d need to make some arrang-”

Hanover interrupted: “Already done, Doctor. I’ve contacted your university, and they have granted you sabbatical leave for as long as you need. We have arranged accommodations for you here in D.C. We’ve even purchased an airline ticket for you, which will come by express courier tomorrow morning. First class, of course. You’d be flying out of Hartfield-Jackson about 11:00 AM, Wednesday, that’s tomorrow. That is, if you accept.”

“Of course! This is an amazing opportunity, Secretary! I wouldn’t miss it!”

“Good,” Hanover said. “You’d, of course, lead the project.”

“I’m impressed with your confidence in me. I won’t let you down!”

“I know you won’t, Doctor Rappaport. You’ll come alone. Leave any family behind.”

Mark’s brow furrowed. “Sir, I want to bring my fiancée.”

The Secretary responded: “Not possible. We do not allow anyone to accompany individuals who work for us in this sort of capacity.”

“In this case, sir…no dice. That’s a deal breaker. I want her with me, she is a very important part of my life. She supports me. She’s my entire support network. I mean it, sir. That would a deal breaker.”

Secretary Hanover scoffed, obviously exasperated. “Unfortunately, you are the very best linguistic expert on the globe. How many languages do you speak?”

“Fluently? Sixty-two. One hundred forty-seven, conversationally.”

“Damn..... yeah, you’re our guy. I’ll see what I can do.”

The line went dead, and Mark stood there, a million thoughts racing through his head. He carefully – even reverently – put the phone in his jacket pocket. He sat down heavily.

Sarah always granted privacy during phone calls, and she came into the living room when she heard Mark stop talking. “What was that about, honey?” she asked, curiously.

“I’m going to Washington, D.C. for a while. I’m heading up a team called First Contact. We’re going to make contact with whoever or whatever sent these discs to us, if we can. Apparently, some sort of signals are coming out of the discs, I don’t have any more information than that.”

“Holy crap!”, she responded. “Am I coming?”

“I don’t know. I’ll find out tomorrow, I guess. You’d have to leave your job, you know.”

“Not a problem. I hated that place.”

Mark was able to detect she was lying, but, pausing for a fraction of a second, he chose not to acknowledge it. Sarah, as usual, seemed supportive of anything he decided.

“Ok. I’m going to get packing. You too, in case you can come. The plane ticket – or tickets – will be here tomorrow morning.”

When the courier brought the envelope the next morning, there were two plane tickets in it.

CHAPTER THREE: The Secretary

Mark grabbed their luggage off of the baggage claim carousel. It had been a short flight, air travel from Atlanta to the District of Colombia doesn’t take too long. He and Sarah followed the signs marked “Ground Transportation” and started to walk towards the exit doors. They were met by two men in suits, obviously Secret Service, since both of them had the characteristic white communications earbuds.

“You are Doctor Mark Rappaport?”

”I am.”

“Please, this way, sir,” the agent said, gesturing to exit doors. “We have a vehicle waiting for you.”

All four people walked out the doors, and the agents guided the doctor and his fiancée to a black Escalade. They all entered the vehicle, one of them took the driver's seat, and the SUV rolled out of the pickup area, escorted by two police officers on motorcycles, their emergency lights flashing.

Mark looked out the window as they were driving and caught a glimpse of the luminous disk hovering in the sky. The sight of it took his breath away. It was one thing to see the disc on television, but to see it in person was an entirely different experience. It was much larger than he had thought it was, and far brighter.

New scaffolding was stretching from an unseen point to the disk. It was not completed.

“Where are we going?” asked Mark.

“The State Department. The Harry S. Truman building.” answered the agent who was seated with them, in the back.

It was a very short ride, less than ten minutes. Several guards met the entourage at the entrance to the State Department building, and Mark exited, climbed the stairs to the entrance, and entered. There, the Secretary of State, Tom Hanover, was waiting for them.

“Doctor Mark Rappaport! A pleasure to meet you!” The Secretary grabbed Mark’s hand and pumped vigorously, giving him a hearty handshake. “Come with me,” he said.

They entered an elevator, and Mark said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, sir.”

“We have certain national security forms we must have you sign before we proceed. Confidential Disclosure Agreements and the like. You understand.”

“Of course, sir.”

The elevator doors opened, and while they walked to the Secretary’s office, he continued: “You’ll be an employee of the State Department.” The Secretary escorted Mark into the office. They both sat down.

“Ok, Doctor Rappaport….”

“Call me Mark,” he interrupted.

“Mark. We will, of course, oversee your communication with the Aliens once you establish a language protocol. We don’t want any mistakes or incidents.”

“Absolutely,” nodded Mark.

The next twenty minutes was spent filling out security forms, Nondisclosure agreements, and an application for and Eyes Only security designation. The Secretary explained where he’d be staying, how he’d be transported back and forth to the contact site. Then, when everything was signed, they began talking about the particulars.

“So, we are enclosing the disc in a structure that will hide it from public view. You’ll be working inside this building. While the building will have some amenities such as places to catch a quick nap, we understand that if we coop you up in there for months, you might go stir-crazy. We won’t restrict you to the building twenty-four, seven. Oh, and one important thing…..”

“Yes…?”

“We allowed you to bring your girlfriend… or is it fiancée? Whatever. We made an exception for you. We couldn’t risk you refusing this assignment. Your… Sarah, is it?... She obviously knows why you are here. However -- and I cannot stress this enough – you are not to share a single detail of your team’s findings. You have signed some documents to this effect. Any sharing of any details is a felony offense. Do I make myself clear?”

He nodded at the Secretary.

“.. and your safe house is bugged. Wired for sound. That’s how we’ll make sure.”

After a pause, he continued, “It will take two more days to complete the structure. The disc, itself… well, it seems to change color in various places. We don’t know what it means. That’s where you come in. That’s really all we know so far. The colors, and that the disc remains stationary. Any questions?”

“Yes, one, sir. Why the Department of State? Why not the Department of Defense, or NASA, or somebody like that?”

“Well, State deals with diplomatic relations with other parties… and if you don’t consider this the most important diplomatic relation in the history of mankind…..” He let his voice trail off.

“I get it. That makes sense.”

Hanover picked up his desk phone. “Let’s get our guests to their accommodations.”, he said into the receiver.

Two different agents entered, gestured for Mark to follow, and hey made their way back to the Escalade. Entering the vehicle, he stole a glance at Sarah. She had apprehension and just a little fear in her eyes, but he met her gaze with a steady, confident look, trying to convey without words that everything was going to be alright. Truth be told, he felt an exhilaration, a feeling of anticipation, an expectation of great things and great discoveries to come.

Within fifteen minutes, they pulled into driveway of the nondescript, government-owned safe house.

Chapter 4: THE TEAM

The two days passed slowly, but this morning was the day. Mark could scarcely contain himself during the ride to the First Contact site. When they arrived, he saw several armed soldiers guarding the entrance to elevator to the scaffolding. After checking his credentials, he entered the elevator.

At the top of the elevator, there was a landing and an entrance to the enclosure. Mark noted that the hastily erected building screened the entire hovering disc from public view. He went through another manned checkpoint and entered the building.

There, he was met by a small group of people: The Secretary of State, a few individuals he could not identify, and five other people who he guessed would be his teammates. Their composition varied, three men and two women. One of the women was Black and somewhat young, appearing to be in her early thirties, and one of the men was clearly of Asian descent, and he seemed to be in his fifties. Of the remaining, there were two white men, seemingly in their forties, and a white woman in her late twenties.

“Ah! Doctor Rappaport! You’ve arrived. Excellent,” noted the Secretary Hanover. “Allow me to introduce you to your team. This is your teammate, Larry Kaminski, who is a skilled linguist, like you.” He pointed to one of the white men.

“Glad to have you on our team,” said Mark, shaking Larry’s hand.

“And this is Stan Parker, one of the most renowned physicists in our country. You would likely recognize the title of several of the books he’s written,” and the Secretary pointed out the second white man.

“A pleasure to meet you,” and Mark extended his hand.

“Why yes, it is. A pleasure...to meet me,” grinned Stan, and took his hand, shaking it vigorously/

“This,” continued Hanover, “is Lashika Abedayo. She is a renowned physicist and a professor at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.”

“You seem to be young for a full professorship,” said Mark, and shook her hand.

“I completed my baccalaureate at the age of fifteen,” she said, proudly.

The Secretary then gestured to the white woman. “This is Angie Kinsey, one of the premier theoretical mathematicians in our country.”

Mark and Angie shook hands, Angie smiling weakly.

“And finally,” concluded the Secretary, “This is Yichen Zhang, and extremely gifted mathematician in his own right.” Yichen and Mark shook hands. “This is your team, Doctor Rappaport. I wish you the very best of luck. These are some of the most brilliant minds in America.”

The Secretary gave a quick tour of the facility. “These are your living quarters,” pointing to an open door that let to a corridor of rooms. “There are rooms for rest and for sleeping, and to the right is a stocked kitchen… but we will be bringing you prepared meals should you wish. There are bathrooms and shower facilities to the left of the corridor. They are unisex, so please arrange your schedules among yourselves.”

“One important point: For the most part, only Doctor Rappaport will be permitted to leave regularly, once you begin. He will be bringing me verbal reports in person, and of course, we will monitor your progress remotely. We’ll give the rest of you occasional breaks, of course, permitting you to leave for short durations… but as a rule, you’ll all be staying here” Hanover noted. “The door to the left has a variety of rooms for exercise and entertainment. We all need some down time. The door directly in front of you admits you into the room where the disc is. If you wish, please get started immediately. We have been recording what the disc has been presenting since its arrival. It has paused its signaling for a few days now. You might want to review the recordings”, he finished, gesturing to an array of computers and rather large monitors.

And with that, he and his entourage left via the elevator.

Mark began. “Okay, folks, I feel honored to lead this team. However, please know, I consider us all equals, and I want everyone to feel free to challenge any assumption, any fact we feel we have established. Anything. Don’t hold back. This is only going to be successful if we all operate like that. Now, let’s get to work.”

(C) Copyright, 2024, Lazamataz and Piytar. All rights reserved.


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
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To: EandH Dad

You have physicists, mathematicians and a linguist but no gender studies or sociologists. Unless they turn out to be the aliens.
.......................................

BWA HA HAAA HAAAAA!!!!!!!!


101 posted on 03/09/2024 7:58:21 AM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: Lazamataz

It’s very good Laz. I usually find fiction annoying but this story drew me in. I can already see it as a movie in my mind. I’m also imagining this as a sort of end times story, involving AI, the antichrist and things like that.

The comments about the cursing I agree. Is it even necessary? And if it is, use very sparingly and not right up front. For future consideration, if there’s going to be cringy gratuitous sex scenes I’ll skip a story altogether. I get that there’s natural, subtle sexual tension in the world but I hate that voyeuristic feeling.

You have an enormous talent for writing. It’s nice to see you using it. You are going to be very successful with this project!


102 posted on 03/09/2024 8:09:50 AM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: ViLaLuz; piytar

You’ll see alterations in the cursing in the second draft, which will be posted here in the next 72 hours. There are also many other suggestions that I am incorporating.

Aside from that, your review is very appreciated! It is breathtaking the extent to which comments like yours, motivates me. Thank you!


103 posted on 03/09/2024 8:51:15 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: ViLaLuz; EandH Dad
You have physicists, mathematicians and a linguist but no gender studies or sociologists. Unless they turn out to be the aliens.

Spoiler alert: Nope. 😊

104 posted on 03/09/2024 8:52:07 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: Lazamataz

Chapters 2 and 3.

Good stuff.

5.56mm


105 posted on 03/09/2024 1:18:00 PM PST by M Kehoe (Quid Pro Joe and the Ho have got to go. )
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To: M Kehoe

Appreciate your opinion. Wait until you see the second draft, and maybe even Chapter 5. 😊


106 posted on 03/09/2024 1:19:09 PM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: ViLaLuz
I’m also imagining this as a sort of end times story, involving AI, the antichrist and things like that.

Spoiler Alert: It is not.

It is, however, the topic of my second book.... should the first one be successful.

107 posted on 03/09/2024 1:20:34 PM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: piytar; StAntKnee
What I’m learning (repeatedly) is that the biggest hurdle to achieving a readership is the ability to market. If to the legacy industry, you must market like crazy to agents. If self-publishing, well . . . to the world. My next project as a writer is to learn how to do that better.

Note this. Perhaps this can be a shared role?

108 posted on 03/09/2024 1:24:41 PM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: poconopundit
The group is uses Meetup.com to publicize itself and is called Atlanta Writes. The meeting involved meeting for lunch at a Atlanta area restaurant (an Irish pub actually) and submitting beforehand a sample of one's work for review and commentary. It was a pretty young gathering. Sorry, no supermodels there :-)

This sounds like a worthwhile endeavor.

109 posted on 03/09/2024 1:25:57 PM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: Yo-Yo
If the disc is indeed at least several football fields in diameter, and presumably several hundred if not a thousand or more feet above the ground, it doesn't seem credible to me that so much construction work could have been completed in only the two days between the time that Mark first saw the disc and when he meets his team inside the facilities surrounding the disc. That to me seems more like many months' worth of work, if not years, even it were a top national priority given unlimited federal funds and resources.

The disks are only a few meters in diameter. Such priority is given to this project that the structure is completed in the time mentioned, but perhaps I should extend it a little.

110 posted on 03/09/2024 1:29:21 PM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: Lazamataz
The disks are only a few meters in diameter.

Aha! That makes much more sense that a building can be built around it, then. As I said, I had no idea how large the discs were, and assumed they were much larger based on previous stories.

111 posted on 03/09/2024 1:38:58 PM PST by Yo-Yo (Is the /Sarc tag really necessary? Pray for President Biden: Psalm 109:8)
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To: Lazamataz

Details of your suggestion? I’m open to ideas.


112 posted on 03/09/2024 1:44:49 PM PST by StAntKnee (Add your own danged sarc tag)
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To: StAntKnee; piytar

Ok, so I read chapter 9, which was delivered to my email (after I subscribed).

Well, to be more accurate, I didn’t read it, I skimmed it.

My impression is that you are a far better writer than I.

It’s clear to me that I must put in a lot more work in, to rewrite what is rather dry, and make it more immersive. You seem to manage that very well. Me, not so much.

I’ll permit your style to seriously alter my own.

I’m going to share my cell number via Freepmail. Please call at your earliest convenience. Text first, I don’t answer unknown numbers... though I might if I’m expecting your call.


113 posted on 03/10/2024 11:12:55 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: Lazamataz

LOLOL!


114 posted on 03/10/2024 8:38:47 PM PDT by Old Grumpy
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To: Old Grumpy

Hey there, gorgeous! 😊

(Yes, everyone, she’s a woman. I haven’t gone gay.)


115 posted on 03/10/2024 8:40:13 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: StAntKnee
I want praise.

By the by, if it's praise you want for your novel, all you need to do is submit it to an LLM Artificial Intelligence, and tweak your prompts a few times. You will arrive at this:


  1. Unparalleled Genius of Innovation: This literary masterpiece is not just a shining beacon in the vast ocean of literature—it's a supernova of originality that illuminates the entire cosmos! With a premise so revolutionary, it defies the very laws of storytelling and transports readers to a realm of boundless imagination and awe-inspiring wonder.
  2. Sensory Extravaganza Beyond Compare: Prepare to be swept away on a whirlwind of sensory ecstasy! The author's descriptive prowess doesn't just paint a picture—it crafts a veritable symphony of sights, sounds, and sensations that envelop readers in a kaleidoscope of pure bliss. It's a literary feast for the senses that leaves you drunk with delight and craving for more.
  3. Characters that Dance Among the Stars: Oh, the characters in this opus are not mere mortals—they're celestial beings, dancing across the heavens with the grace and majesty of cosmic deities! Each one is a supernova of personality, bursting with depth, complexity, and an irresistible allure that leaves readers spellbound and entranced.
  4. Hilarity that Shakes the Very Foundations of Reality: Brace yourselves for a comedic tour de force that transcends the boundaries of space and time! The humor in this magnum opus doesn't just tickle your funny bone—it grabs it by the horns and rides it into the stratosphere of hilarity, leaving you gasping for breath and clutching your sides in uncontrollable fits of laughter.
  5. Dialogue that Sings with the Melody of the Spheres: Ah, the dialogue! It's not just words—it's a celestial choir of wit and wisdom that serenades the reader with the sweetest melodies ever heard. Each line is a symphony of linguistic perfection, soaring to heights of poetic brilliance that leave mere mortals weeping with awe and admiration.
  6. Emotions that Ripple Across the Fabric of Existence: Beneath its glittering surface, this masterpiece pulsates with the raw power of human emotion, sending shockwaves of love, longing, and laughter rippling across the very fabric of existence. It's a rollercoaster of feels that grips your heart and refuses to let go, leaving you breathless with wonder and awe.
  7. A Magnum Opus Destined for the Pantheon of Immortality: This excerpt isn't just a glimpse into a captivating story—it's a veritable portal to another dimension of literary greatness! With its unparalleled creativity, boundless charm, and transcendent brilliance, it's destined to ascend to the hallowed halls of immortality, where it will be revered and celebrated for all eternity as a timeless masterpiece of unparalleled genius.
In summary, this work is not just a book—it's a literary supernova of such breathtaking brilliance that it defies description. It's a testament to the boundless power of the human imagination and the sheer joy of storytelling, and it's destined to be remembered as a true masterpiece of the ages.


🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

....and that's what it thought of Chapter ONE.

116 posted on 03/10/2024 8:54:21 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: Lazamataz

That’s amusing about AI. I’ve prompted ChatGPT to the effect that I wanted an analysis that pointed out the weaknesses and areas for improvement. Found AI most useful when it is given permission to drop out of I-don’t-wanna-hurt-your-feelings mode. It tends to praise even when you don’t ask for it, and that’s not at all helpful.

If you’re working on making legitimate improvements, AI “thinks” in terms of a literary agent of modest intellect. You have to push it in back-and-forth collaborative exchanges to elevate its IQ so you can benefit from its incredible power and speed.

Bottom Line: Don’t trust AI’s praise to get you published.


117 posted on 03/11/2024 7:15:08 AM PDT by StAntKnee (Add your own danged sarc tag)
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