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Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers
The Register ^ | 5/18/05 | Lester Haines

Posted on 05/18/2005 7:38:08 PM PDT by pissant

The following cautionary tale must surely rate in the top five of "most embarrassing things that can happen to you in public - ever". According to UK tabloid the Sun, a 33-year-old Welsh housewife ended up in hospital after wearing Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants to her local Asda supermarket in Swansea.

Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag.

To its credit, the Sun does not name the woman. We assume, however, that she will be shopping at her local Tesco for the next ten years or so, or until everyone in the Asda who witnessed her ordeal is dead or has succumbed to total amnesia - whichever comes soonest.

For the record, Ann Summers notes that Passion Pants are "Not for internal use". Now we know why. ®

(Excerpt) Read more at theregister.co.uk ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: energizerbunny; lol; moresleaze; orgasmicoverdose; pissant; sleaze; takethiscraptodu; yikes
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Funniest story in a while!
1 posted on 05/18/2005 7:38:08 PM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant

you're on fire tonight.


2 posted on 05/18/2005 7:40:27 PM PDT by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: pissant

Proof that size does not matter.


3 posted on 05/18/2005 7:40:34 PM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig (You can turn your head away from the Berg video and still hear Al Queda's calls to prayer.)
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To: pissant

lol

I got a real buzz out of this story.


4 posted on 05/18/2005 7:40:37 PM PDT by KidGlock (Get in the pit and try to love some one)
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To: Dashing Dasher; MotleyGirl70; BerthaDee; MamaTexan; Hoodlum91; missyme; colorcountry; shaggy eel

Too funny PING


5 posted on 05/18/2005 7:40:54 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig

ROFL


6 posted on 05/18/2005 7:41:27 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant
the 2½-inch vibrating bullet

Isn't that your nick-name?

7 posted on 05/18/2005 7:41:29 PM PDT by KidGlock (Get in the pit and try to love some one)
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To: KidGlock

the silver bullet ain't supposed to slow ya down!


8 posted on 05/18/2005 7:42:23 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

Also, where do I order these panties that will get my woman aroused and them make her pass out?


9 posted on 05/18/2005 7:42:41 PM PDT by KidGlock (Get in the pit and try to love some one)
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To: pissant

Her husband better not say a word...ever...or he'll be sleeping on the couch for the rest of his life and she'll be beet red.


10 posted on 05/18/2005 7:43:29 PM PDT by highlander_UW (I don't know what my future holds, but I know Who holds my future)
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To: KidGlock; F16Fighter

Lets ask the expert. I think he wears a pair backwards...


11 posted on 05/18/2005 7:43:59 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant; concordKIWI

,,, autopilot BUMP!


12 posted on 05/18/2005 7:44:24 PM PDT by shaggy eel
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To: Servant of the 9

This story has your name all over it.


13 posted on 05/18/2005 7:45:16 PM PDT by sweetliberty (Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.)
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To: pissant; Darksheare; null and void; Mo1; Borax Queen; cyborg

Bizarre ping!


14 posted on 05/18/2005 7:46:15 PM PDT by sweetliberty (Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.)
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To: martin_fierro; Tijeras_Slim

good invention PING


15 posted on 05/18/2005 7:46:36 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

Did she ask for a cigarette when they revived her?


16 posted on 05/18/2005 7:47:04 PM PDT by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
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To: highlander_UW

or end up strangled by a bra!


17 posted on 05/18/2005 7:47:15 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: MHGinTN

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


18 posted on 05/18/2005 7:47:54 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

You think.......nahhhhhhhhh.

19 posted on 05/18/2005 7:49:04 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Leftists would have no standards at all)
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To: pissant
She ought to team up with Minnesota Viking running back Onterrio Smith who has in his possession a device called the Whizzinator . I'll bet he'd be willing to share.
20 posted on 05/18/2005 7:49:22 PM PDT by Temple Owl (19064)
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To: pissant

So much for just wearing clean underwear. Nowdays you have to make sure you leave the house with a well manucured front lawn.

I am going to tell my wife now...


"Hey honey!!!!....."


21 posted on 05/18/2005 7:49:24 PM PDT by KidGlock (Get in the pit and try to love some one)
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To: Texas Eagle

not if it resembles a male organ, anyway!


22 posted on 05/18/2005 7:50:04 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: Tribune7

ping


23 posted on 05/18/2005 7:50:19 PM PDT by Temple Owl (19064)
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To: KidGlock

Or new batteries ...


24 posted on 05/18/2005 7:50:45 PM PDT by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
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Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: Temple Owl

I think it was just a fish tale about him using it for passing a drug test.


26 posted on 05/18/2005 7:51:10 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant; cyborg

Sometimes all I can say is wow.



LOL


27 posted on 05/18/2005 7:51:39 PM PDT by Petronski (A champion of dance, my moves will put you in a trance and I never leave the disco alone.)
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To: KidGlock

Post a pic of your bruises when she slaps ya silly. LOL


28 posted on 05/18/2005 7:52:27 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant
Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge...

Ummmmmm....on second thought...never mind.

29 posted on 05/18/2005 7:52:30 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Leftists would have no standards at all)
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To: KidGlock
"Also, where do I order these panties that will get my woman aroused and them make her pass out?"

I think you're missing the point....if she has the panties, she doesn't need you. I mean, when was the last time you got a woman so aroused, she passed out? Inebriated maybe...but aroused? I don't think so.

30 posted on 05/18/2005 7:52:55 PM PDT by sweetliberty (Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.)
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To: pissant
Passion Pants?

Wasn't that Billy Jeff's Secret Service code name?

31 posted on 05/18/2005 7:53:05 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Leftists would have no standards at all)
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To: Texas Eagle

Eeeeewwwwwwww!!!! Go to your room!!


32 posted on 05/18/2005 7:54:06 PM PDT by sweetliberty (Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.)
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To: pissant

33 posted on 05/18/2005 7:54:14 PM PDT by trussell (Prayers for the children!)
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To: shaggy eel

look what you started! We should get a cut of the increased profits!


34 posted on 05/18/2005 7:54:19 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant; arasina; Dashing Dasher
Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge...

Hmmm...Not gonna say it -- wouldn't be prudent.

35 posted on 05/18/2005 7:54:43 PM PDT by F16Fighter
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To: KidGlock
where do I order these panties that will get my woman aroused and them make her pass out?

Which part are you hoping for: that she gets aroused, or passes out?

36 posted on 05/18/2005 7:54:45 PM PDT by Born Conservative ("Television is a medium because anything well done is rare" - Ernie Kovacs)
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To: Texas Eagle

You are TRULY warped for even imagining that....


37 posted on 05/18/2005 7:55:50 PM PDT by Born Conservative ("Television is a medium because anything well done is rare" - Ernie Kovacs)
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To: trussell

excellent graphic. I think she's wearing Passion Pants!


38 posted on 05/18/2005 7:55:58 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: sweetliberty


I've been grounded???


39 posted on 05/18/2005 7:56:22 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Leftists would have no standards at all)
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To: pissant

It's being carried on sports pages now. He won't talk to sports writers.


40 posted on 05/18/2005 7:57:27 PM PDT by Temple Owl (19064)
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To: Temple Owl

Hell, I wouldn't either!


41 posted on 05/18/2005 7:57:59 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: Born Conservative
You are TRULY warped for even imagining that....

Well, come on. What else explains her wardrobe consisting strictly of Ol' Krusty?

42 posted on 05/18/2005 7:58:04 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Leftists would have no standards at all)
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To: b4its2late

Vibrating panty ping.


43 posted on 05/18/2005 7:58:10 PM PDT by Born Conservative ("Television is a medium because anything well done is rare" - Ernie Kovacs)
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To: pissant
We should get a cut of the increased profits!

,,, [ever the altruist] I just like to see people happy :)

44 posted on 05/18/2005 7:58:10 PM PDT by shaggy eel
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To: pissant
Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery.

It took four more weeks to pry the silly grin off her face.

45 posted on 05/18/2005 7:59:26 PM PDT by martin_fierro (KnockKnock/Who's there?/Control Freak. Now you say, "Control Freak Who?")
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To: pissant
ROTFLYou made me laugh even more...grape soda all over my monitor!!!
46 posted on 05/18/2005 8:00:01 PM PDT by trussell (Prayers for the children!)
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To: martin_fierro

I think the story was a plant to get free publicity! In San Fran, the mens version is already a top seller!


47 posted on 05/18/2005 8:00:38 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: mhking
Definitely one for the Just Damn list!

Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants???

48 posted on 05/18/2005 8:00:49 PM PDT by nutmeg ("We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." - Hillary Clinton 6/28/04)
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To: F16Fighter

LOL! You bad, bad, bad.


49 posted on 05/18/2005 8:01:02 PM PDT by arasina (So there.)
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To: Texas Eagle
"I've been grounded???"

You know better than to post pictures of that Ckinton woman(?) in the context of a discussion with such a "sensitive" nature. Just think of all the FReepers you will have caused to have nightmares and digestive disturbances now. You should be ashamed of yourself!

50 posted on 05/18/2005 8:03:12 PM PDT by sweetliberty (Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.)
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