Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-05 ("What meds do you take?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 13, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/13/2005 7:35:58 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Are there any pharmacologists out there? I will probably need your professional help in sorting out the MANY mood-altering meds listed in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What meds do you take? Since the DUmmies have been spending much of their time escaping into an alternate reality, it is interesting to see what powerful drugs they have to ingest to accomplish this task. For example, I am figuring that it must take some POWERFUL acid to alter the DUmmie mind to the extent that they BEEEELEEEEEVE that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20. High drug dosage is so common in DUmmieland that I am surprised they haven’t established a DUmmie Pharmacy to distribute the meds necessary to enter their own alternate reality. The only “med” your humble correspondent takes currently (other than prescription blood pressure pills) is the non-prescription and VERY SMOOOOOTH slow aged Flor de Caña rum. Perhaps the DUmmies should think of switching to Flor de Caña rum. Not only would they pleasantly mellow out, but a few of them might actually relax enough to get a slight bit of common sense in their system. So let us now view the pharmacologically mind-altered DUmmie posts in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anxiously awaiting the warm glow of his evening dosage of slow aged Flor de Caña, is in the [brackets]:

What meds do you take?

[As mentioned above, only a couple of glasses of slow aged Flor de Caña rum per evening. Right now my “prescription” is for the 7 year old rum but perhaps someday I will become worthy enough qualify for the 12 year old Flor de Caña rum or maybe, just maybe, I can even think about aspiring to the 18 year old Flor de Caña rum. However, let us now view the LOOONG list of mind altering meds you DUmmies are desperately ingesting to kill the pain of our current REPUBLICAN reality.[

Don't answer if it is too personal; I understand. I have some Clonazepam on hand for when I get asthma/anxiety attacks. .5 mg is very weak... but I'm rocking 2 of the suckers right now so I'm at 1mg as we speak. Fairly relaxing since it is a benzodiapene.

[When the pain of seeing George W. Bush in the White House becomes too great, just pull the axe off the wall and break open that emergency bottle of benzodiapene.]

here we go... i hate drug names... so... unfriendly...minocycleine so i dont get all pimple-y and zyrtec so i can breathe during the months where everythign isnt frozen over.

[Zyrtec is also great for helping you to perform simple body functions during the months when your mind is frozen over.]

I take tons of medicine.Here's the list: Paxil for depression,Xanax for anxiety/panic attack,Dalmane to sleep,Ventolin for asthma,Trazodone as anti-depressor and sleeping aid and Advair for asthma.Plus some generic painkillers for chronic pain.I'm only 37 but my grand father who is over a 100 is in better shape than me.Pretty depressing isn't it.

[May I forward that EXTENSIVE med list over to Pied Piper Pitt since he hasn’t slept since April due to extreme anxiety over defrauding his fellow DUmmies by cheerleading them into donating to Andy Stephenson’s non-existent pancreatic cancer operation?]

Oh geez, where to begin. I am an exercise in polypharmacy.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism
Topamax for mood stabilization and migraine
prophylaxis
Verapamil for migraine prophylaxis
Imitrex and Amerge PRN as migraine abortives
Vicodin PRN as a migraine rescue med
Percocet PRN for menstrual cramps
I also take various OTCs as needed and daily vitamin/mineral/other supplements.

[Perhaps you should simply cover your body with a giant prophylaxis to blot out the unpleasant reality of a REPUBLICAN White House, Congress, and Judiciary.]

just a handful
Diclofenac--arthritis prednisone--arthritis methtrexate—arthritis
Verapamil--blood pressure Dyrenium--water pill

[When Cheney is elected in ’08 you might want to consider adding cyanide to that list.]

migraine & allergy meds:
migraine prophylaxis:
singulair (normally prescribed for asthma, which i do not have)
petadolex (an herb)
co-q10
migraine prn:
zomig (i rotate between zomig and imitrex when my body adjusts)
stadol (narcotic, only if zomig fails)
allergy prophylaxis:
nasonex
allergy prn:
semprex-d

[Methinks that on Election Night of 2008, you’re going to have to TRIPLE your med dosage for migraine.]

methadone- 60-70mg daily for chronic pain
flexeril- 50-60mg daily
prednisone- 10mg every other day
ambien- occasionaly for help sleeping

[Methadone? Isn’t that a med that is supposed to substitute for heroin? In any case, I think you will be shooting up heroin directly into your arm on Election Night 2008 in an attempt to kill the pain. But don’t worry. Susan Estrich will be in even WORSE shape than you.]

I'm sure if I went and got checked out I'd be prescribed half a dozen or so medications for depression and anxiety, but I prefer to wallow in my own misery.

[That’s the spirit! Face the incredible pain of this country’s dominant conservatism without resorting to any of those pansy meds.]

I Got You All Beat:
Daily: Cozaar, Tolinase, Actos, Lasix, Lopid, Elavil, Buspar, Topamax, Vicodin, Lomotil, QVar, Atrovent, Albuteral
As Needed: Norco, Fiorinal, Maxalt, Imitrex Stat Dose, Phenergran, Ditropan, Rantidine, Flexeril, Soma
Often on: Cipro and/or Nitrofuratoin

[Braggart!]

Anti-depressants - for me - all seem to make sex less enjoyable, which in turn causes even more depression. Is this just me, or do other people experience the same thing? The problem here in the UK is that doctors are overworked and far less inclined to spend time tweaking meds until they get things just right for a patient, which I find incredibly frustrating

[But…but I thought Britain had this WONDERFUL nationalized health care system that all you DUmmies seem to be boosting! And now you tell me that the doctors in the UK nationalized health care system don’t have much time for their patients. I am so depressed hearing this that I need to pop a prozac.]

i was on Clonazepam, Trazadone, zoloft, valium, wellbutrian and several others. I had really bad depression after the birth of my child and my inlaws didn't help. They told me that I was crazy and making it up cause I wanted attention. I went to several docs and they had me drugged up. I was so high that I was almost drooling. I finally got sick of it all and quite all them. I really do need an anti-depressant but I am afraid to be a zombie again.

[Newsflash, DUmmie earthmama! You’re STILL drooling.]

I don't like the idea of being hooked on chemicals for life, basically. What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it? What if there's a recall because it's really ruining my liver (or whatever)? I wish I could find some kind of natural remedy, or be cured or something. But it's way easier to take my medicine and be on to other things.

[My suggestion is to build a vast underground fallout shelter to store all your meds.]

Ziac (keeps my BP down) Cymbalta (an SSRI)
Gabapentin (add'l depression treatment)
Prevacid (keeps my gorge from rising, all you Shakespeare fans)
I used to take Vioxx. Rasser frasser... I now take Aleve and Tylenol as if they were M&Ms. I honestly don't know what I'd prefer -- increased risk of heart attack, or this f*cking pain.

[Look at the bright side of it, DUmmie bertha katzenengel. At least you are no longer a Vioxx addict. Now take two Tylenols to kill your “f*cking pain.”]

Duragesic, Lortab, Soma, Naproxen and Ambien...There's more. Can't remember them all for obvious reasons.

[The obvious reason being that your meds have killed your long and short term memory or would be able to produce your extensive med list.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 281-293 next last
Speaking of Flor de Caña slow aged rum, perhaps in the near future I will feel worthy enough to merit trying their 12 year old rum. However, the only way I will ever feel worthy to drink their 18 year old rum is if Mary Matalin gives me the go ahead for a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories) deal. So please, Mary. I really really want to try that Flor de Caña 18 year old rum. In fact, I will be sure to always have a case of it at hand if you only contact me for the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories) deal at: PJ-Comix.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 06/13/2005 7:35:59 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Meds, meds, meds...top 10?


2 posted on 06/13/2005 7:37:11 AM PDT by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I can understand needing a medication or two at some point in life.


I pity people who go online even anonymously and engage in some morbid 'pissing contest' about whose polypharmacy is most intense or pathetic.


So sad.


3 posted on 06/13/2005 7:37:34 AM PDT by Petronski (Be alert! The world needs more lerts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


4 posted on 06/13/2005 7:38:13 AM PDT by PJ-Comix ( Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I now take Aleve and Tylenol as if they were M&Ms.

Yikes - these people need to DETOX and fast!

5 posted on 06/13/2005 7:38:47 AM PDT by areafiftyone (Politicians Are Like Diapers, Both Need To Be Changed Often And For The Same Reason!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Top ten! w00t!


6 posted on 06/13/2005 7:39:23 AM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Top ten! w00t!


7 posted on 06/13/2005 7:39:24 AM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Petronski

Something about medication contests that seem weird...


8 posted on 06/13/2005 7:39:35 AM PDT by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Knitting A Conundrum

Can you possibly imagine an FR thread like this? LOL


9 posted on 06/13/2005 7:40:21 AM PDT by Petronski (Be alert! The world needs more lerts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Petronski

Top 10? No meds here lol


10 posted on 06/13/2005 7:41:27 AM PDT by Repub4bush ("Official Foliage Finder" ------Mark Levin the next supreme court justice! :))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

11/12?


11 posted on 06/13/2005 7:42:13 AM PDT by CSM ( If the government has taken your money, it has fulfilled its Social Security promises. (dufekin))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Petronski

No! Maybe what I can take now that they have vioxx off the market type thread, but never a "I take more meds than you, nyah, nyah neener-neener-neener" thread....


12 posted on 06/13/2005 7:42:23 AM PDT by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Knitting A Conundrum
Psychotropic drug use as a badge of honor sounds like homosexuals who are proud of HIV.
13 posted on 06/13/2005 7:43:10 AM PDT by cripplecreek (I zot trolls for fun and profit.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

And these people have the temerity to bash pharmacuetical companies?


14 posted on 06/13/2005 7:43:22 AM PDT by NeoCaveman (This Tuesday, Defeat a Dewine. OH-2 www.gobrinkman.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I wonder how many of these guys are on Medicaid.Going to the Dr. is easy when it is free.Particularly if you don`t have a job.
Doctors are like lawyers.the more you see one,the more you need one.
15 posted on 06/13/2005 7:44:09 AM PDT by carlr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
And those are just the ones that they'll admit to!
16 posted on 06/13/2005 7:44:36 AM PDT by rockrr (Revote or Revolt! It's up to you Washington!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek

It does, doesn't it?


17 posted on 06/13/2005 7:45:19 AM PDT by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

These are always funny, the medication threads on du. Is it any wonder that so many dummies need such pharmaceuticals?


18 posted on 06/13/2005 7:45:19 AM PDT by kenth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I'm not at all surprised by these lists. It really proves they are mentally ill and no drugs will cure their psychosis!


19 posted on 06/13/2005 7:45:37 AM PDT by CSM ( If the government has taken your money, it has fulfilled its Social Security promises. (dufekin))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I had no idea there were so many antidepressants and anxiety medications on the market.
20 posted on 06/13/2005 7:45:58 AM PDT by jennyjenny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 281-293 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson