Posted on 05/25/2006 5:14:40 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
The search is still on for Pied Piper Pitt, last seen downing large doses of "medication" at Bukowki's. His Furorbunker location is still unknown and at this time we have no report on when he will emerge to confront the Hoaxmas backlash. However, it is now suspected that his partner in crime, Jason Leopold, is currently working at ABC News as evidenced by a completely unsubstantiated (and quickly refuted) STORY that Leopold-like sources have told that news organization that House Speaker, Dennis Hastert, is under investigation by the FBI. Of course, the DUmmies, upon hearing this "news," beat a well-worn path to their ultimate Freudenschade when they PREMATURELY celebrated the Hastert's downfall only to have to eat crow immediately afterwards when this story did not pan out as you can see first in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "HASTERT IS BEING INVESTIGATED BY THE FBI," followed soon afterwards by their Eating Crow THREAD titled, "Justice Dept. denies Hastert under investigation." So let us now watch the DUmmies once again worshipping at the Jason Leopold School of Journalism in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, deriving much Schadenfreude from the DUmmie Freudenschade, is in the [brackets]:
House Speaker Hastert under investigation: ABC
[WHEEEEEEE!!!! BREAK OUT THE VICTORY CHAMPAGNE!!! POP THOSE CORKS!!!]
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives,Dennis Hastert, is under investigation by the FBI, which is probing corruption in Congress, ABC News reported on Wednesday.
ABC, citing high level Justice Department sources, said information implicating Hastert was developed from convicted lobbyists who are now cooperating with the government.
Part of the investigation involves a letter Hastert wrote three years ago, urging the Secretary of the Interior to block a casino on an Indian reservation that would have competed with those of other tribes.
Hastert's Press Secretary told ABC in a statement: "We are not aware of this." Hastert's spokespeople were not immediately available for comment.
[Is this a Jason Leopold scoop?]
Oh, please. Please let this be true! Please let this be true! Tell me the corruption goes into the Speaker's Office and into the Senate Majority Leader's office! Oh please!!!!
[OH PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE! LET THIS BE TRUE SO I DON'T HAVE TO EAT CROW ANY MORE! PLEASE, LUCY, DON'T PULL THAT FOOTBALL AWAY FROM ME AGAIN JUST THIS ONE TIME! OH PLEASE!!!]
I share your plea ... PLEASE!! Take Denny down too!!!!
[PLEASE!!!---No more Crow!]
Of course it goes right to the top. The question is: Will anything ever come of it?
[Have no fear. Your Freudenschade is just around the corner.]
Will anything ever come of it? - let's see if tweetie reports on it??
[Let's see if TruthOutTheDoor reports on it.]
Starting to become clear why he came out so hard against the FBI raiding a congressman's office. It has nothing to do with Seperation of Powers with these f*cks. It's all about protecting their own criminal behavior!
[Once again, a DUmmie adds 2 plus 2 and comes up with 5.]
That's exactly what I thought when I read the article after my moment of celebration.
[Yes, that premature celebration which is always the prelude to DUmmie Freudenschade.]
right behind Rove. Hastert will get indited right about the same time that Rove does........ which is never.
[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]
I'll believe it when I see the FBI kicking in his office door... and hauling out all his papers and computer drives. Oh, and just to expedite the investigation, interrogators should strip Hastert, smear him with pee and feces, beat him, let a vicious dog bite him several times, and rape his family while he watches, since Bush and the GOP have condone torture as a valid tool for obtaining information. After all, if he's got nothing to hide, he's got nothing to worry about!
[This ABC News "scoop" is about to be smeared with feces. Speaking of which, how are Robert Luskin's cat stools doing today?]
Oh God Do Do I Hope They Nail His Criminal Ass. Take Em All Down. This could be very fun to watch...
[Not nearly as much FUn as watching the DUmmie Freudenschade Crow Eating Ceremony which is just around the corner.]
The timing is soooo sweet...
[Especially so coming right on the heels of Hoaxmas.]
Contrary Report from Bloomberg News from a few minutes ago... Justice Department Denies ABC Report of Hastert Investigation
[So would you prefer your Crow roasted or fried?]
Gotta replace him before the impeachment might go down! They want someone clean in place in case Bush/Cheney are both impeached/resign before the election, so that a "Gerald Ford-type" can take over then, and keep the "pardon" option open later. Hastert isn't clean enough for that role and Bushco knows it!
[I guess the plate of crow hasn't been served to you yet. Look at the previous post.]
Something smells!! Reuters printed ABC's story and then retracted it within an hour!!
[Fooled again by another Rovian trick! And now on to the DUmmie Crow Eating THREAD.]
Justice Dept. denies Hastert under investigation
[You know, I think I can learn to enjoy eating crow. If I use my imagination, I might convince myself that it tastes like something between chicken and turkey. Well, only if I close my eyes real tight and imagine real hard.]
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Justice Department took the unusual step Wednesday of declaring that it was not investigating House Speaker Dennis Hastert.
The statement by department spokeswoman Tasia Scolinos came in response to a broadcast report that Hastert was being investigated as part of a lobbying scandal and amid the furor surrounding the weekend raid on the offices of Rep. William Jefferson, D-La.
Hastert had sharply criticized the raid and called on Justice Department officials to return all the documents that had been seized.
Asked if he was being investigated, Hastert said late Wednesday that he has not received any notice from the Justice Department that he’s being investigated as part of the Jack Abramoff probe.
[And Lucy pulls the football away.....AGAIN!!!]
Where is this from?
[Kentucky Fried Crow.]
Maybe Hastert made them back off somehow. I wouldn't doubt it a bit. Hastert comes out swinging against Bush, Bush tries to punish him with the FBI. Hastert then says "up yours" and has something to make Bush back down.
[A nude photo of Helen Thomas?]
Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.
IB4TP
PING!
top 5
l
Top 10! (That's the top 5 business posts to those of you that don't know!)
You know, those of us who are regularly in the top business ten need to get a real life. I think I'll go get out of my jammies into real clothes.
L
IATP, and Top Ten! Woo-HOO!
Good God, what a bunch of freaks.
Do these people have ANY sense of how weird they are? Or do they consider themselves "different" like Goth high schoolers?
Or am I missing something and DUmmies ARE all high schoolers who need to "seem special" just becase being "different" means they're not REALLY geeks, they COULD be popular, athletic, intelligent people, but they're so brilliant they CHOOSE to be mutants. Like the X-Men.
Hey, post a link to your Blogspot site for us Internet-challenged folks.
12?
-Eric
top 15???
He did go on about his little dog and urine descriptions a LITTLE too long. I hope his mom keeps the door to the basement securely locked today.
Just click on "DUmmie FUnnies" link at top left of this Thread to go to my BlogSpot DUFU.
Top 20.
The Driveby Media strikes again, and the DUmmies are always ready to lap it up...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.