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DUmmie FUnnies 01-09-07 ("I did an investigation. Now we can impeach.")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 9, 2007 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/09/2007 5:11:22 AM PST by PJ-Comix

The Democrats won both houses of Congress in November but the Left is still incredibly frustrated. Why? Because it looks like there WON'T be any impeachment of Bush. For one thing, the clock is working against impeachment since the Bush term has only two years to go. More importantly, the Senate doesn't have near the votes to convict. It takes a two thirds vote and even if Senator Johnson ever regains conciousness and every Democrat votes to convict, they still need 16 Republican votes. Of course the biggest impediment to impeachment is that you have to have an impeachable offense. Perjury is off the table since most of the liberal scholars a few years ago told us that perjury is NOT an impeachable offense. So what are the liberals left with to justify impeachment? Not much. However this has not discouraged the DUmmies. In fact, one intrepid boy DUmmie investigator believes he has found grounds for impeachment as you can see in this THREAD laughingly titled, "I did an investigation. Now we can impeach." So let us now watch this DUmmie investigator, joined by his fellow intrepid DUmmie investigators, dig up grounds for impeachment in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, visualizing DUmmies with magnifying glasses trying to find impeachment clues, is in the [brackets]:

I did an investigation. Now we can impeach.

[Oh goodie! That's all we were waiting for. Some DUmmie to dig up grounds for impeachment.]

According to U.S. District Judge Henry Floyd, Jose Padilla, a U.S. citizen, was illegally detained without charges for three years. A confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. The perpetrator is one George W. Bush.

[That's it? If you try to impeachment Bush on those grounds you insure that the Republicans retake the House and Senate in '08.]

Have you guys done any investigations? I'm working on another one.

[The DUmmie Hardy Boys jump into action.]

But that's a crime. Impeachment would be too good and take too long.

[Emphasis on "too long."]

Let's get us some Blackwater guys to go and snatch the perp and put him in one of those secret prisons he promised us he closed.

[A Wal-Mart detention center or a Halliburton concentration camp?]

I did another investigation. Now we can impeach.

[Oh goodie! What was the result of your other investigation?]

According to U.S. District Court Judge Anna Diggs Taylor, the National Security Agency illegally monitored Americans in violation of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. A confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. The perpetrator is one George W. Bush.

[Oops! Impeach Bush on those grounds and you will also insure that the Republicans retake the White House by a landslide in '08.]

Have you guys done any investigations? I'm working on another one.

[It's so much FUn to pretend to be a DUmmie Hardy Boy.]

I think I'll do some investigating too.

[I wanna be a DUmmie Hardy Boy too!]

Three words: Downing Street Memo Three more words. Now we can Impeach.

[Three words: LOL!]

I did yet another investigation. Now we can impeach.

[You just can't keep a DUmmie Hardy Boy down.]

According to the Government Accountability Office, Americans have been the victims of an illegal propaganda campaign. A confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. The perpetrator is one George W. Bush.

[Yes, I'm sure the leftwing profs who claimed that perjury was not grounds for impeachment will approve of that one...whatever it means.]

Have you guys done any investigations? I'm working on another one.

[Spaketh the Energizer DUmmie Hardy Boy. It just keeps on ranting and ranting and...]

I did still another investigation. Now we can impeach.

[You just can't stop the Energizer DUmmie Hardy Boy.]

According to George W. Bush, one George W. Bush ordered one Richard Cheney to selectively release highly classified information in the interest of discrediting one Joseph Wilson. Bush's scheme led to the outing of a covert CIA operation. As indicated, a confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. As indicated, the perpetrator is one George W. Bush.

[MERRY FITZMAS!!!]

Have you guys done any other investigations? I'm working on another one.

[Redundancy can be quite catchy as well as contagious.]

we need one done on... 9/11/01! MIHOP!

[The Truther faction weighs in.]

Nifty. We can save Congress a bunch of time by doing these. What about Dick Cheney? Something about outting a covert CIA by the name of Valerie Plame. I knew we could do this without spending billions of dollars.

[Nifty! They don't even have to have Congressional investigations. Just check out the DUmmie board and send Bush straight to The Hague.]

Until all of the hard evidence is investigated and collected? Bush stays unimpeached!! and nothing will change this, no website, no hearsay nothing but sworn statements and hard verified evidence...

[KILLJOY!!!]

Now that the Investigations are complete it is time to Impeach Bush and Cheney.

[The DUmmie investigations are complete. IMPEACH NOW!!!]

More grounds for impeachment. Katrina murders. Signing statements

[Actually, those are grounds for your confinement at the Happy Farms Asylum.]

Nicknameless and I did an investigation. Now we can impeach.

[YIPPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!]

According to a report by the non-partisan Congressional Research Service, one George W. Bush is using signing statements to expand executive power to the detriment of Congress by means which are “generally unsupported by established legal principles.”

[And don't forget the jaywalking and overdue library book charges.]

Remember it takes 67 Senate votes to convict and you aren't going to get that w/Jose Padilla.

[Nor with any of the other "charges" cited here.]

When they took Padilla's rights, they took your rights.

[DAMN! They took away our right to become terrorists.]

Treason or Bribery are the standards..

[But NOT perjury. The leftwing profs asserted that very strongly.]

The entire length of his administration is one long impeachable offense. He only ascended to the position as the result of a coup.. carried out in broad daylight, with the complicity of the Supreme Court....

[And yet the impeachable "offenses" you listed here are the best you could come up with? Thanx for the laughs!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; impeachment; loons
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Does anybody out there know anything about the market for parody songs on talk radio? I now have access to recording equipment, sound engineer, and singing talent. I would like to put it all together to produce parody songs but I need to find out about the market for it. Thanx in advance for any info.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 01/09/2007 5:11:24 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix

IB4TP


2 posted on 01/09/2007 5:12:03 AM PST by Mercat
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 01/09/2007 5:12:17 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

top 10?


4 posted on 01/09/2007 5:15:09 AM PST by SouthernBoyupNorth ("For my wings are made of Tungsten, my flesh of glass and steel..........")
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To: PJ-Comix
I would like to put it all together to produce parody songs but I need to find out about the market for it.

Ask this guy:

L

5 posted on 01/09/2007 5:15:51 AM PST by Lurker (Europe killed 6 million Jews and as a reward they got 40 million Moslems. Karma's a bitch.)
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To: PJ-Comix

If Ford hadn't pardoned Nixon, would the Dim-controlled Congress have worked on prosecuting him? Would the next administration (the worst president ever, Jimmuh Carter) have pursued charges against him?

I ask this, because who wouldn't think that President Hillary or Gore or Osama or Kerry (bwhahahaha - kidding on that last one) wouldn't hold hearings and try to throw George W. in jail?


6 posted on 01/09/2007 5:16:10 AM PST by RabidBartender
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10!


7 posted on 01/09/2007 5:18:23 AM PST by KoRn
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To: PJ-Comix

first 20


8 posted on 01/09/2007 5:18:44 AM PST by ziggy_dlo (THE LAND OF THE FREE, FOUGHT FOR BY THE BRAVE!!! We Never Forget 9/11.)
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To: Lurker

Weird Al Yankowitz is a singer. I want to put together parody song productions and sell to talk radio shows. A lot of the song parodies that I currently hear on the radio are sort of lame and I think I have found the talent to do better.


9 posted on 01/09/2007 5:19:39 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Do the DUmmies realize that if Dubya was impeached they'd have a President Cheney.

Sheesh, they're paranoid enough now. If 'Darth' Cheney was POTUS they'd all needed padded rooms.

Plus he'd get to pick a new VEEP who would, or could, likely be the GOP front runner for 08. Don't think they'd like that either.

moonbats

10 posted on 01/09/2007 5:19:44 AM PST by Condor51 (An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.)
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To: Condor51

The Moonbats are under the illusion that they can impeach both Bush and Cheney simultaneously.


11 posted on 01/09/2007 5:21:20 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

12th!?


12 posted on 01/09/2007 5:24:02 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: PJ-Comix
[That's it? If you try to impeachment Bush on those grounds you insure that the Republicans retake the House and Senate in '08.]

Nit-picking, I know... but it should be "ensure", not "insure", here. If you don't nip this in the bud now, you'll start using "loose" for "lose" before you know it.

13 posted on 01/09/2007 5:24:13 AM PST by kevkrom (WARNING: The above post may contain sarcasm... if unsure, please remember to use all precautions)
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To: kevkrom

I originally had "assure" then soon realized my error but corrected it with another error.


14 posted on 01/09/2007 5:26:37 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
I did an investigation. Now we can impeach.

Staring at your navel and citing overturned or soon-to-be-overturned activist court decisions is not an "investigation".

But by all means, please tie up Pelosi's Congress with pointless impeachment proceedings, preventing them from inflicting more damage on us and making sure the Democrats are exposed as the petty politics-over-all party that they are.

15 posted on 01/09/2007 5:27:58 AM PST by kevkrom (WARNING: The above post may contain sarcasm... if unsure, please remember to use all precautions)
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To: PJ-Comix
The last thing these great legal minds did was defend someone on a charge of jaywalking.

The got him off with a plea-bargained 48 months at hard labor.
16 posted on 01/09/2007 5:27:59 AM PST by MindBender26 (Having my own CAR-15 in RVN meant never having to say I was sorry....)
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To: PJ-Comix
Oh yeah, I overlooked that for a momemt.

Simultaneous impeachment trials, leaving the executive open for San Fran Nan and now KKK Byrd as POTOS and VEEP. Yeah, that'll work - good plan moonbats.

((((( cuckoo-cuckoo )))))

17 posted on 01/09/2007 5:31:18 AM PST by Condor51 (An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.)
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To: MindBender26

Anyone notice a trend here? The leftwing "constitutional scholars" in 1998 told us strenuously that perjury was NOT grounds for impeachment. Today those same clowns are claiming the most trivial of things could be grounds for impeachment. Spreading of propaganda? What the hell does that even mean?


18 posted on 01/09/2007 5:32:20 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Chimpeachement bump

top 20


19 posted on 01/09/2007 5:33:13 AM PST by NeoCaveman (Conservatism hasn't been tried and found wanting, it has been found wanting to be tried.)
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To: PJ-Comix
This tit for tat that we see between the 2 political parties, (they impeached Nixon we impeached clinton), how far back does it go? Who started it or has it always been happening?
20 posted on 01/09/2007 5:35:40 AM PST by Ditter
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To: PJ-Comix
[The DUmmie Hardy Boys jump into action.]

The DUmmie Hardly Boys

21 posted on 01/09/2007 5:39:17 AM PST by NeoCaveman (Conservatism hasn't been tried and found wanting, it has been found wanting to be tried.)
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To: Ditter

Dangit missed 20


22 posted on 01/09/2007 5:39:18 AM PST by freedomlover (Sorry, a tagline occurred. The tagline has been logged.)
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To: kevkrom; PJ-Comix
Nit-picking, but you miss this one?!?

If you try to impeachment Bush

;-)

Sorry PJ - I think you're spending too much time at the DUmmie farm! They're rubbing off on you.

23 posted on 01/09/2007 5:39:33 AM PST by Dooderbutt (It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our job to arrange the meeting.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Dr Demto used to have a late night program filled with parody songs. Not sure if he is still around, but that is how Weird Al got his start.

If the DU'ers standard of evidence is used, can we get Hill and Bill for homicide?
24 posted on 01/09/2007 5:41:07 AM PST by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
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To: Condor51

I love the sound of "President Cheney." But that means that "President Pelosi" is on the horizon.

Remember, the last few assassination attempts were waged by loonies and socialists; that's DUmmie country!


25 posted on 01/09/2007 5:42:47 AM PST by Loud Mime (Hey McCain! Stop THIS free speech, you Stockholmer!)
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To: PJ-Comix; All
I'm waiting for the DUmmie who confesses his psychiatrist told him he should pursue impeachment.

Anyway, I want to announce the birth of our granddaughter Ivy Rose, born last evening in Dennison, TX. May God's blessings be upon her. And here, for everyone is a baby cigar in celebration:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

26 posted on 01/09/2007 5:43:04 AM PST by bcsco ("He who is wedded to the spirit of the age is soon a widower" ? Anonymous)
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To: Lurker
Sometimes I can "FEEL" a parody song. An example was the parody about Barack Obama based on "I Don't Know How To Love Him." In this case, the PERFECT lyrics were provided by Charles. Same thing happened with "Self-Recanted Evening," and "It Must Be Carefully Bought." In most cases I can come up with partial lyrics for the song but others can fill it out better. However, sometimes I do have my moments. I once wrote what I thought was a really good country song about phony cowboys called "Drugstore Cowboy:"

I'm a Drugstore Cowboy,
And Mighty Mean
I wear Gucci Boots
And Designer Jeans.

etc.

Anyway, I now "FEEL" an impeachment song parody. However, it is mostly for naught if the songs can't be recorded and played on the air.

27 posted on 01/09/2007 5:45:38 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Dooderbutt
Nit-picking, but you miss this one?!?

If you try to impeachment Bush

Well, that one isn't a pet peeve, you see...

28 posted on 01/09/2007 5:46:29 AM PST by kevkrom (WARNING: The above post may contain sarcasm... if unsure, please remember to use all precautions)
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To: PJ-Comix

"I did an investigation. Now we can impeach."

LOL! Don't you just love the DUmmies? So much comedy in one little site.


29 posted on 01/09/2007 5:47:07 AM PST by imskylark
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To: bcsco

Isn't Dennison Texas the locale of that movie that was shown at midnight for years at a lot of theaters?


30 posted on 01/09/2007 5:47:24 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Ditter
This tit for tat that we see between the 2 political parties

What is "tat" and how do you trade it for the other thing?

31 posted on 01/09/2007 5:47:33 AM PST by kevkrom (WARNING: The above post may contain sarcasm... if unsure, please remember to use all precautions)
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To: PJ-Comix

I'd start with a local market to show you can do it and to build up a sample reel. Send samples to the big guys like Rush and try to get picked up as a regular feature. Your fee should cover expenses and whatever dollar amount you want to put on your time. The important thing is to get started on some station somewhere.


32 posted on 01/09/2007 5:47:51 AM PST by RedRover (They are not killers. Defend our Marines.)
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To: redgolum

Not to name drop (but I am) but I used to be good friends with the producer of the Dr. Demento show, Robert Young. He invited me to sit in on a few of the Dr. Demento sessions in Westwood, CA. Maybe that whole parody song thing seeped in to me at that time.


33 posted on 01/09/2007 5:49:26 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: kevkrom
You didn't get the birds and bees talk when you were a kid? Sorry you have to ask mom and dad that question.
34 posted on 01/09/2007 5:51:30 AM PST by Ditter
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To: PJ-Comix
Two Ton Baker was a night club pianist/singer in Chicago in the '50's who did a number of funny songs like "I'm A Little Petunia In An Onion Patch" and "Too Fat Polka" (not necessarily parody). He also had noontime TV and radio spots. Here's a link to his site where a lot of his stuff is available in mp-3 format.

http://twotonbaker.com/

35 posted on 01/09/2007 5:51:34 AM PST by bcsco ("He who is wedded to the spirit of the age is soon a widower" ? Anonymous)
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To: RedRover

One problem is that Brian Craig down here doesn't seem to like me despite the fact that I am the ONLY ONE who has pointed out that he was the one to change the nature of the 2004 election by producing a pre-Swiftboat spot which was later used in the first Swiftboat commercial. Todd Schnitt I have badmouthed publicly for being boring. And there is not that much left down here of local talk.


36 posted on 01/09/2007 5:51:54 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
"According to George W. Bush, one George W. Bush ordered one Richard Cheney to selectively release highly classified information in the interest of discrediting one Joseph Wilson. "

I thought they were just reaching on the other claims but now I realize that this 'hardy boy' is speaking from his own little parallel universe.
37 posted on 01/09/2007 5:54:11 AM PST by imskylark
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To: RedRover; Charles Henrickson

Of course if Charles wins the Bill Bennett parody song contest that would open the door in that direction for more song parodies that are actually produced and recorded...


38 posted on 01/09/2007 5:54:21 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Isn't Dennison Texas the locale of that movie that was shown at midnight for years at a lot of theaters?

I really don't know. Bekki went back to Texas to term out her pregnancy with her folks. She induced birth yesterday. Gene flew in from Las Vegas on Sunday and will be down there for the week.

39 posted on 01/09/2007 5:55:06 AM PST by bcsco ("He who is wedded to the spirit of the age is soon a widower" ? Anonymous)
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To: RedRover; Charles Henrickson
I've got a good one in me about the leftwing frustration over the lack of Chimpeachment. Oh, and it uses a type of tune not usually heard in parodies for some reason. Blues. Hey, I once did write and sing (not well) a song called "Relapse Blues." I knew a woman that was constantly getting saved and then relapsing so I wrote the following song which goes like this (what I remember):

"Oh, I used to be Saved,
But now I'm Depraved
I've got the Relapse Blues.

40 posted on 01/09/2007 5:58:26 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

You should reach out to that Paul Shanklin (sp?) guy that does parody songs for Rush. Even if you don't like his stuff, he has the methods and contacts for getting songs played. He may view such efforts as competition or perhaps as some fresh talent he can be part of.


41 posted on 01/09/2007 5:59:55 AM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: PJ-Comix
ROFLMAO! Then doing it again.

However, I don't doubt that Conyers and some other yahoos of his ilk in Congress are honestly going to try. We need to keep the light shining on these cockroaches.
42 posted on 01/09/2007 6:00:03 AM PST by chesley ("Socialism" - compassion for those that don't have any.)
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To: RedRover; Charles Henrickson

My Impeachment Blues parody is based on "Re-Enlistment Blues" which was sung at the end of "From Here To Eternity." That song was written by the author of that novel, James Jones. BEST American novelist ever!


43 posted on 01/09/2007 6:01:32 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
In Federalist 64, Alexander Hamilton penned the perfect model of the DUmmies case:

"A well-constituted court for the trial of impeachments is an object not more to be desired than difficult to be obtained in a government wholly elective. The subjects of its jurisdiction are those offenses which proceed from the misconduct of public men, or, in other words, from the abuse or violation of some public trust. They are of a nature which may with peculiar propriety be denominated POLITICAL, as they relate chiefly to injuries done immediately to the society itself. The prosecution of them, for this reason, will seldom fail to agitate the passions of the whole community, and to divide it into parties more or less friendly or inimical to the accused. In many cases it will connect itself with the pre-existing factions, and will enlist all their animosities, partialities, influence, and interest on one side or on the other; and in such cases there will always be the greatest danger that the decision will be regulated more by the comparative strength of parties, than by the real demonstrations of innocence or guilt."

The DUmmies are POLITICAL ANIMALS who are driven by hatred. When I visit their forum, I substitute the word "Jew" for each time I see "Republican" or "Conservative." That exercise shows that there is only one difference between them and their political forefathers, and that is their lack of commitment to sacrifice themselves for their cause.

They're too greedy for that ultimate price.

44 posted on 01/09/2007 6:02:10 AM PST by Loud Mime (Hey McCain! Stop THIS free speech, you Stockholmer!)
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To: Incorrigible
You should reach out to that Paul Shanklin (sp?) guy that does parody songs for Rush. Even if you don't like his stuff, he has the methods and contacts for getting songs played. He may view such efforts as competition or perhaps as some fresh talent he can be part of.

Maybe I'll send him the recording of "I Don't Know Why I Love Him." I've been planning to shop it around when it is completed.

45 posted on 01/09/2007 6:02:53 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: chesley

I believe that the Dems will play this issue in a manner that makes them out to be the victims of the republicans. Imagine Pelosi saying something like "We know what happened. We know who did what. That being said, we also know that an impeachment will never get through the Senate because of its partisan republicans. We have to do the smart thing, and that smart thing is not to waste this country's time and money like the republicans did against the best president this nation has ever had. We will work for good. That's the difference between our parties."

I bet you this will happen.

Any takers?


46 posted on 01/09/2007 6:07:30 AM PST by Loud Mime (Hey McCain! Stop THIS free speech, you Stockholmer!)
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To: RedRover

Another big reason why I now want to produce and market parody songs is that I think Charles has a once-in-a-generation unique ability to write song lyrics and I want to give his talent a public forum on the radio. However, don't tell Charles I said that or his head will swell.


47 posted on 01/09/2007 6:13:33 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: NeoCaveman
They are SO getting a RAGING clue.

-Eric

48 posted on 01/09/2007 6:15:30 AM PST by E Rocc (Myspace "Freepers" group moderator)
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To: PJ-Comix
DUmmies with magnifying glasses trying to find impeachment clues, is in the [brackets]:


49 posted on 01/09/2007 6:23:36 AM PST by jellybean (Proud to be an Ann-droid and a Steyn-aholic)
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To: RedRover; Charles Henrickson

It's like "Man, Moment, Machine." You ever see that History Channel series? Well, this is like my personal "Man, Moment, Machine." All the elements are now in place to produce parody songs for radio. The toughest part will be marketing the songs but if Charles WINS the Bill Bennett song parody contest, the door would definitely be open in that direction.


50 posted on 01/09/2007 6:23:41 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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