Posted on 03/02/2007 4:26:14 PM PST by Winged Hussar
A pardoner was a charlatan who sold people indulgences, or pardons for their sins. Al Gore and his friends have come up with a modern equivalent: the "carbon offset" to make up for your greenhouse gas emissions.
Now, good men, Earth forgive you each trespass,
And keep you from the sin of greenhouse gas.
My carbon offsets cure and will suffice,
So that it gains me gold, or silver brings,
Or else, I care not- brooches, spoons or rings.
You must embrace fully Al Gore's line of bull,
While o'er your eyes we will pull the wool!
An offset certificate I'll give you, anon,
And into environmental bliss you'll go, each one.
For I'll absolve you, by Kyoto's special power,
You that send me money, as Green this hour
As you were born.
And lo, sirs, thus I preach.
And the United Nations, who is our country's great leech,
So grant you each his offset to receive;
For that is best; I will not you deceive.
But, sirs, you must swallow my whole tale;
I've carbon credits in my pouch that cannot fail,
As good as Kyoto Treaty ever saw, I vow,
The which I got by kindness of Al Gore.
If dollars your change of heart and mind reveal,
You'll get my absolution while you kneel.
Come forth, and send me your lucre bright,
And quickly I'll set your consciences aright;
Or else receive a carbon credit as you wend,
All new and fresh as every mile shall end,
So that you offer me each time, anew,
More gold and silver, all good coins and true.
It is an honour to each one that's here
That you may have a competent pardoner
To give you carbon offsets to you acquit,
For all greenhouse gases you may emit.
(Excerpt) Read more at carbonoffsets.blogspot.com ...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.