DUmmie FUnnies 07-26-07 ("How do the White House insiders manage to remain calm?")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | 07-26-07 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Paul Heinzman]

They sleep comfortably wrapped in their flags and currency.

That's not a very comfortable way to sleep. Flags the size required to cover even a full size bed are usually nylon and don't make a very good sheet, and the currency tends to stick to you in the night, not to mention the paper cuts in the worst places.

[PJ-Comix]

Illiterati. And whenever this word is used, send the royalty payments this way.

[Paul Heinzman]

When Reagan died, one of the big questions that was asked was what was Reagan's legacy. This is the legacy of Reagan.

That if terrorists ever attacked the USA we would hunt them down, destroying any individual or government body that stood in the way. That's a damn good legacy; thank you, President Reagan.

If I could get my hands on Bin Laden, I rip him to tiny pieces.

I'd like to believe that, but if you're like most DUmmies, if you saw bin Laden, you'd probably cry, sneeze, vomit, shit and piss your pants simultaneously while declaring your loyalty to him and his cause just before he put a bullet in your head, infidel.

[PJ-Comix]

Hey! Maybe I did pick exactly the RIGHT TIME to buy a townhouse. Right now on the news is a big story about the Miami (also South Florida) housing market going bust. It finished off with a "vulture" stating that now was the time to BUY since the prices have gone dirt cheap. I didn't think it would be possible to buy at exactly ROCK BOTTOM but I think I have. All these stories about deals are sure to attract buyers.

Note: Our townhouse price dropped over 20% in less than a year.

[Paul Heinzman]

I'm broke. They're not.

Such a terse statement from a DUmmie. In four words, he's summed up what has become the philosophy of the democrat party in the last forty years or so. He left out one sentence, though: Give me some of what they've got.

[HangThemHigh]

"Dear DUmmie. There is a cure for that - it's called "a job". And at a "a job" you do what's called "work". And after you do this "work" you get "paid" and "paid" means that you have "money". And when you have "money" you will no longer be "broke"."
In theory you are correct, but remember these are Dummies, the most likely scenario:

1. Dummie broke, blames *.
2. Dummie gets job (it could happen)
2. Dummie gets paid.
3. Dummie uses paystub to get credit card.
4. Dummie spends paycheck (and more) on drugs & lotto.
5. Dummie fired for being stoned.
6. See #1. (but now owes IRS & Visa)

[mowowie]

I have a friend who completely believes in contrails or “Chemtrails” as he calls them. He is constantly pointing them out to me. Somehow he can tell the diff between the real ones and the fake ones. The scary part is that he’s a pretty smart dude but he has no clue how stupid he sounds.

[dirtbiker]

We call it the "Amazing Grace" Network, and the DUmmies are just jealous because they were assigned pitchforks instead of halos. ;-)

Your right about the pitchforks.

They talk all the time about picking them up and marching on Washington....

Well, to be fair, they really don't need much medication since ... their consciences are so atrophied.

Actually, it's because their consciences are so CLEAN.

If you DO right, you'll SLEEP right. Also comes from the knowledge that God promises "No weapon formed against you shall prosper" to all those that believe in Him....

Must be very lonely and frightening to be a DUmmie...so sad....

[dirtbiker]

I see you found Lil Beaver’s “belly pack” when you moved....

[Big Guy and Rusty 99]

It’s a vast right wing conspiracy.