Above: Wakka-wakka, the wakka-wakkaing.
Posted on 11/03/2007 5:28:01 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
A sort of drumbeat has been sounding for a couple of days now. The Weblog Awards are on again, and the character who does DUMmie FUnnies, an anti-Democratic-Underground comedy site, has been spamming the Jesus out of Free Republic trying to win the Funniest Blog category, and especially to beat the top condender, which is, you know, us.
I need HELP here folks. Two other blogs catching up to me FAST! And one of them is the extreme leftwing Sadly No! Think I’m exaggerating? Just visit that blog and you’ll run down the street urging your neighbors to vote on their computers.
He’s been pinging mass amounts of Freepers with some kind of daily ping list, and posting updates and beg-notices literally every few minutes.
WAKE UP PEOPLE! That is a VILE leftwing sacreligious site. Am I exaggerating? You go and judge for yourself. Seriously. If you do, a lot of folks out there will RUN to their churches this Sunday and URGE fellow members of their congregations to VOTE for the DUmmie FUnnies just to stop Sadly No!
And so on. It’s working so far; he’s currently leading by over 200 votes. And our idea about the whole thing isn’t that we ought to beat him because he’s a mean-spirited, smirking wingnut who spreads crazy right-wing propaganda as his mode of self-expression — as his soul-art, as it were. That seems pretty much to be the case, but everyone has their own thing, and this is, after all, a contest for the ‘funniest’ blog, not the blog that’s the most chill and can the most righteously hang. Our idea is that he deserves to lose because his site is a slapdash pile of lazy-ass suckage that nobody wants to read, and because he doesn’t care and isn’t funny.
It’s not that this PJ guy’s humor isn’t to our taste, or that we miss the joke. It’s that he’s funny like a dial tone, like a speed bump, like a slightly sad face drawn with a Sharpie pen on a used-up light bulb. He isn’t even unfunny; he’s non-funny. He’s apparently been practicing this ‘humor’ thing since the late ’90s, when he used to write zany Clinton Conspiracy tracts (i.e. he’s not just some kid somewhere), and yet, here’s the wow on display in his current about-me thing:
I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being from the 5th dimension. Once every 6000 years I materialize in your dimension in a Las Vegas hotel suite where I chant my holiest of mantras: “RAMA DAMA, I WANNA HOT MAMMA!!!”
Other than materializing in other dimensions, my big hobby is DUmmie observation which I do by observing DUmmies from the Democratic Underground website in my personal DUmmie Ant Farm. I find the DUmmies VERY AMUSING and share my observations of those funny Leftist critters with the rest of the world via my DUmmie FUnnies Blog.
You think I’m cherry-picking, right? You think it couldn’t possibly be that bad all the way through. Here, from yesterday, is his takedown of a William Rivers Pitt comment at Democratic Underground (Pitt is the managing editor of Truthout):
Pied Piper Pitt Panders To Hillary By Slamming Tim Russert
Watch Pied Piper Pitt pathetically pander politically in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, not so subtlely reminding everybody that the DUmmie FUnnies is now in the Weblog Awards contest, is in the [brackets]:
An article that just kicks the **ever-lovin’ shit** out of Tim Russert. Enjoy.
[Pied Piper Pitt Pathetically Panders Political Pathos.]
I sure as hell did. Russert is so full of shit, he squeaks going into a turn; you can smell him coming two counties away.
[Tim Russert s full of it? Remember, folks. This comes from a guy who gave out that great journalistic scoop that Karl Rove had ALREADY been indicted on May 12, 2006.]
Thanks for helping Cheney’s hatchet-men blow up a WMD-hunting CIA NOC agent, Timmy. Valerie Plame, remember?
[Thanx, Pitt, for the great inadvertent comedy material you have provided the DUFUs over the year.]
Thanks, also, for helping them destroy the in-country networks she assembled to gather WMD-threat intelligence data (real threats, I mean, not the bullshit ones you helped spread far and wide…do you even know the difference between “real” and “bullshit” anymore, you jackal?).
[Pitt pushing the notion of pencil pusher Plame as a Spymaster in the league of an Allen Dulles.]
Of note is that Jason Leopold, not Pitt, wrote the article claiming that Rove had been indicted. Also of note is that it’s been proven several times over that Valerie Plame was a CIA NOC agent working on WMD counter-proliferation. But whatever. What’s of greatest note is that Pitt got off the only funny line, about Russert being so full of shit he squeaks going into a turn. Meanwhile, the DUmmie FUnnies guy sounds like he’s yelling at the radio. Oh wait, let me put it in [brackets] so you know it’s me.
[The FUNNY DUMMY from DUmmie FUnnies really rants and rails with righteous rhetoric, putting poopy panderers Pitt and Plame in a prickly pinch because they’re Red Commies like Hitler.]
Excelsior. Back to the Freeper vote-begging already in progress:
So far the DUmmie FUnnies is winning by a much wider margin in terms of percentage than any other blog in other category in this contest. However, the sleeping giant, Sadly No!, is beginning to awake.
Wha? Frnf. Arrum-num-num [yawn]. Zz.
Today I stopped by a few offices while on the road. I mean offices in office buildings where I didn’t know a soul. I went into a few offices and asked the secretary if she was connected to the internet. If the answer was in the affirmative, I asked them to go to the DUmmie FUnnies and then click thru the vote link there and vote for the DUFUs for FUnniest Blog. They usually gave me a strange look at first but then chuckled as they clicked thru. I explained to them about being in a big Web contest.
All you single guys can do the same thing this week. A great way to meet hot chicks and you have an excuse to see them again if you want to in order to encourage them to vote on future days until Thursday.
At a certain point, though, the self-promotion and victory-dancing became too much, I say, too much to bear:
If/WHEN the DUmmie FUnnies is published as a book (with CD-ROM insert), I am going to insist that the book party take place at Bukowski’s in Boston.
[needle scratches on record]
Now, Bukowski’s is a fine place in the Back Bay with an outstanding beer list. It isn’t one of those Flirtini-vending Boylston Street bars full of off-duty marketing professionals and chirpy Sex And The City wannabes — i.e., it isn’t like Lir, the site of the recent Ace of Spades party.
Bukowski’s is a place you’d want to hang out at if you were in Boston, and indeed, if you’ve ever lived in Boston, you’ve probably hung out there, or at the satellite Bukowski’s in Cambridge.
Knowing what we know about things and the world, there’s only one reason the Dummie Funnies guy would want to sully Bukowski’s with the presence of his blar-harring, Limbaugh-listening, homo-baiting, waitress-stiffing wingnut friends, if indeed he isn’t just planning to monomaniacally spam Free Republic for a week to generate a Freeper horde as his posse for the night. Yes, one reason alone, and it isn’t the ambiance, the jukebox, the clientele, the Mackeson’s Triple Stout, Victory Hop Devil, or Schneider Aventinus. No, the reason is illustrated to the right.
In brief, we have had all that we can stands, and we can’t stands no more. To that degree, allow me to make a statement of foreshadowing. First, vote here, if you’re so inclined (it’s possible and encouraged to vote once per day). Nextly:
I am about to do something very bad.
DUFU Pingees need to see this.
We will crush them like a mosquito.
BTTT!
Not a ping.
something very bad!
Better get cracking. That blog is closing the gap. I need to crash in a few minutes.
Something wicked this way comes...
;0)
It looks like the whining lib(redundant, I know) was lurking on here.
Is that blog from Britain? Note the time zone stamping there.
PJ,
You’re back in the lead - 1544 to 1050.
I’ll vote again tomorrow.
I noticed that too. Also, my 24 hours are up so I’m voting for DUFUs again.
Sleep, buddy. I’m voting for you three times a day. You’re gonna win this thing.
Tomorrow's another day. Maybe I'll be able to get the rest of the Ace of Spades crowd on board (it will help that a heap of them are doing Aceapalooza West tonight).
up to 1593
Done
I am vote # 1603!
Voted again on day 2. Twisting wife’s arm to start up her computer too. Been out all day. Time to bump threads up on other message boards. If anyone else is on thefiringline.com, some replies to my post on the Legal & Political section will help. So far I am posting replies to myself.
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