Posted on 09/21/2008 2:02:52 PM PDT by pharmamom
Some rules that are bound to offend SOMEONE:
One may run over Canada geese at will. In fact, one may run up over the curb onto the grass in order to mow them down. Mallards with little babies in tow--No.
One may come up right behind pedestrians wandering slowly and diagonally across one’s lane of traffic and blare one’s horn loudly and for a considerable length of time. If one is Queen, one may also use the time-rewinder to run them over, then reverse time and go on as though nothing has happened.
No one may have a late-term abortion (for reasons other than severe deformity not-compatible-with-life or true life-of-the-mother-scenario) who has not performed a late-term abortion. I’ve mentioned this one before, but it bears repeating.
Drivers who cruise around with rap and/or hip-hop music pounding so loudly the bass can be heard in neighboring states are subject to the Queens getting out of their vehicles and breaking the offender’s windshields with a sledgehammer. Except I fear that I may not be able to wield said implement effectively, so I may settle for the “aluminum baseball bat to the hood of the car approach.”
Males who wear their pants sagging so that any part of their hip bones and/or boxers and/or glute-crack shows will have their garments pulled down around their ankles. And a $500 fashion police citation and public ridicule heaped upon them.
Corollary to the previous rule: Any suburban white guy who tries to dress like an inner-city black kid will be disrobed forcibly and subject to public humiliation.
Corollary to previous corollary: Any upper-middle-class black politician who adopts anything approaching ebonics and/or ghetto slang/accent will be excoriated in all forms of the media, mainstream and otherwise. This applies to northern female politicians who suddenly acquire southern crackcents.
(Excerpt) Read more at whenwearequeen.squarespace.com ...
Any old man or fat boy who gets earring(s) will be sent a registered letter letting them know that they weren't sexy before, and the earring(s) have only made it worse.
I agree, except I don’t think you should run over the Canada geese when they have their babies, either. They’re protected here, anyway, so you can hit them only when they’re smack in the middle of the road and you can reasonably claim that avoiding them would have been dangerous.
uhObama takes another one to the chin. I've heard him take on that ebonic accent a few times. I guess it depends on the crowd.
Agreed. Will add rules about piercings and tattooings. Obviously the tongue piercing rule is that anyone dumb enough to pierce his tongue is not allowed to vote or reproduce.
snort. Thanks for the pic.
Brake fluid. Paint job. Mix and enjoy.
That is all.
I love it. I have a medallion I found at a small boutique here in town: White background. Black letters. Queen. I was a good sister and got one for Queen2 (I am Queen1).
I often make my children do parlor tricks when they want something special by requiring them to preface their requests with, “Oh Mommy the Queen of the Universe, the most munificent, the most magnanimous...” or some other blarney like that. I can tell you one thing. One year of my queenship and this country would straighten up and fly right!
At vacation bible school, several years ago, I chosen to play Queen Esther. Lets just say I was born to play the part...and I have been known to sign, lets say a grocery I send to the store w/PaDad, HRH...
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