Posted on 03/20/2009 8:42:10 AM PDT by WrightOnTarget
Washington, DC (PNN) -- Janet Napolitano, President Obama's new Homeland Security Secretary, told the German newspaper Der Spiegel that in order to move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur, she will now refer to "terrorism" as "man-caused disasters."
This prompted the Department of Homeland Security, at Napolitano's behest, to release a list of all name changes that will be in effect during the length of the Obama administration:
"Old, outdated name" = "New, acceptable name"
War = "Appeasement opportunity"
Al Qaeda = "GWAFAIBSVPOST" ("Guys with a few anger issues but some valid points on a few things")
Iran's quest for nuclear weapons = "Fission trip" ("Atom Sandler" is also acceptable)
Gaza violence = "Jimmy Carter Stimulus Package"
Russia basing bombers in Cuba = "Bay of cute little puppies"
Darfur genocide = "Clooney bin"
Illegal aliens = "Viable Teamster mass"
Hijacking = "Mid-air pilot shift-change initiated by unaddressed sociopolitical grievance"
Belt bombing = "Goin' all AIG on everybody's ass"
Americans kidnapped overseas = "Obamaland collectibles"
Napolitano promises that the list will grow in the future, with the ultimate goal being zero-tolerance for names, words or phrases that offend or imply guilt for the actions of any of our global neighbors for whom U.S. policies have led to a life of America-induced, completely understandable outrage.
The Director also announced that effective immediately her office will be known as "The Department of Nonprovocative Reaction."
V
stimulus = dollar devaluating gov’t bloat
Put that in stone let the truth be seen.
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