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Obama Plan Would Pay Taliban and al Qaeda to Behave
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 28 March 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 3/29/2009, 5:50:21 PM by John Semmens

Citing intelligence warning that al Qaeda is plotting new attacks on the US from safe havens within Pakistan, President Barack Obama unveiled what he characterized as “a bold and innovative new plan” for dealing with America’s enemies. Basically, we will pay them to behave themselves. Under his plan, the US will funnel an additional $1.5 billion a year to the Pakistani government for them to use to purchase the good behavior of hostile elements within their borders.

The President said he has great confidence in this approach “because it has worked for me in the past. As a kid growing up I found that by paying relatively small amounts of money to the right people I could avoid being injured. Similarly, I discovered that a modest amount of money placed in the right hands worked wonders in Chicago politics.”

Pakistan's president, Asif Ali Zardari, praised Obama’s call for congress to authorize what he termed “an annual protection stipend.” “We have used this approach ourselves to help divert hostilities elsewhere,” Zardari declared. “Without the regular payments to al Qaeda, it could’ve been Islamabad that was attacked last year, rather than Mumbai. However, demands have been escalating and we are running low on funds. This new infusion of cash is much needed.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Military/Veterans; Religion
KEYWORDS: afghanisan; pakistan; satire; terrorists
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1 posted on 3/29/2009, 5:50:21 PM by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

It’s calle ‘extortion’ Brrack.


2 posted on 3/29/2009, 5:56:49 PM by subterfuge (BUILD MORE NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS NOW!!!)
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To: John Semmens
New ideas, eh? Change, huh?

This is Danegeld, pure and simple. Only 1200 years old -- and didn't work well at all the first time.

What a crowd of pompous historical illiterates infest DC now. The US is hardly in the weak defensive posture of the Saxon kings, so there's no strategic reason for it, either.

Traitors and ignoramuses all.

3 posted on 3/29/2009, 5:58:04 PM by SAJ
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To: John Semmens

Oh, why not! We already pay illegal aliens who are being held in detention centers. Of course their enforcers are complaining that we don’t pay them enough.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/6345312.html
Feds pay illegal immigrants for jobs while in custody


4 posted on 3/29/2009, 5:59:55 PM by AuntB (The right to vote in America: Blacks 1870; Women 1920; Native Americans 1925; Foreigners 2008)
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To: John Semmens
Danegeld, by Rudyard Kipling

It Is always a temptation to an armed and agile nation,
To call upon a neighbour and to say:
"We invaded you last night - we are quite prepared to fight,
Unless you pay us cash to go away."

And that is called asking for Dane-geld,
And the people who ask it explain
That you’ve only to pay ’em the Dane-geld
And then you’ll get rid of the Dane!

It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation,
To puff and look important and to say:
"Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you.
We will therefore pay you cash to go away."

And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
But we’ve proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
You never get rid of the Dane.

It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation,
For fear they should succumb and go astray,
So when you are requested to pay up or be molested,
You will find it better policy to say:

"We never pay any one Dane-geld,
No matter how trifling the cost,
For the end of that game is oppression and shame,
And the nation that plays it is lost!"

5 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:00:00 PM by KarlInOhio (Obama: removing the speed limit on the Road to Serfdom)
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To: John Semmens

Similarly, I discovered that a modest amount of money placed in the right hands worked wonders in Chicago politics.”

this has GOT to b satire


6 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:01:24 PM by Cyclone59 (You know why thereÂ’s a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.)
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To: John Semmens
Satiregeld by KarlInOhio

It Is always a temptation to an internet wit,
To post a fib and say:
"I proved you can't tell fact from fiction - and will do it tomorrow, too
Unless you pay me cash to go away."

I swallowed it hook, line and sinker I was so sure that Obama and gang would do it. Good job.
7 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:06:27 PM by KarlInOhio (Obama: removing the speed limit on the Road to Serfdom)
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To: John Semmens

Yea, let’s give our mortal enemies loads of cash. Brilliant idea!

I can totally see the logic! The very people that refused to hand over Osama Bin Laden (in the face of a U.S. ultimatem after 9/11) will somehow start to cooperate because we start handing over money to them....Yes! /s

These people are absolutely ideologically committed against the USA. Nothing short of “Allah” himself coming down on a cloud telling them to make friends with the U.S. will cause them to reverse course.

Our only option is to destroy them using any means at our disposal.


8 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:06:52 PM by joseph20 (...to ourselves and our Posterity...)
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To: John Semmens

Appeasement — yeah the islamofascists really respect that approach.


9 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:08:08 PM by PackerBoy (Just my opinion ....)
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To: John Semmens

Reminds me of President Johnson who suggested offering money to Ho Chi Minh to stop the war in Vietnam. He told his aide Ho would accept it since it would help rebuild North Vietnam and make him more popular in North Vietnam. We know where that went.


10 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:18:29 PM by yazoo
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To: John Semmens

So plausible I almost bought it!


11 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:24:51 PM by the anti-liberal
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To: John Semmens
“Obama Plan Would Pay Taliban and al Qaeda to Behave” It sounds like an updated Clinton Plan a la N.Korea and Palestinian Arafat.
12 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:28:09 PM by Tuketu (Lack of Legislative & WH control doesn't mean the GOP can't tell the Dims, we'll undo all Socialism)
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To: John Semmens
Obama Plan Would Pay Taliban and al Qaeda to Behave

Sort of like carbon credits or farm subsidies. You get them when you don't do anything.
13 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:28:10 PM by aruanan
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To: PackerBoy

What a brilliant idea! We could have just given Hitler some money and there never would have been any World War Two. We could have paid Japan and no Pearl Harbor! and Communist China to withdraw from Korea. As long as we can print money we can ensure peace on earth.


14 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:29:41 PM by Forward the Light Brigade (Into the Jaws of H*ll)
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To: John Semmens

I thought the Muzzies called that “Tribute”.

There is No way I will be a good little Dhemmi!


15 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:31:11 PM by Texas Fossil
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To: John Semmens

Just have China send the cash and bill it to our account...


16 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:32:51 PM by PGR88
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To: John Semmens
It's never a hard choice for a fundamental Muslim.
Turn your back on God and take the Infidel money.
No likely to happen.

Better yet, use a little Taqiyya; take the Infidel money use it to re-arm, and then kill the Infidels at a time of your choosing.
Allah would approve of that. At least that is the impression I get from the Koran and Hadiths. - tom

17 posted on 3/29/2009, 6:44:09 PM by Capt. Tom
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To: John Semmens

How can anyone who reads this news and all of the news in the last 60 days NOT come to the conclusion that the current government is the ENEMY of this country and its people?


18 posted on 3/29/2009, 7:09:26 PM by Mister Muggles
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To: KarlInOhio

GMTA, m’FRiend!


19 posted on 3/29/2009, 7:29:13 PM by SAJ
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To: KarlInOhio
And so did I, sheesh. These guys are good!
20 posted on 3/29/2009, 7:30:10 PM by SAJ
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