Aw Jeez, not this shiitake again!
. 
Posted on 03/27/2010 9:16:58 PM PDT by smokingfrog
Aw Jeez, not this shiitake again!
.
Pretty good! 7, 9, 10. +++
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. “Where’s my change?" asks the Zen Master.
The vendor responds, “Change must come from within."
This isn’t a pun, but it’s close:
A woman walks into a hardware store for some latches for her gate. As she waits for the clerk to ring up the purchase she spots a deluxe coffee maker on the shelf behind him and asks how much it is. He tells her the price, and she decides it’s too much. The clerk begins to ring up the latches and says “Do you wanna screw for these latches?” and she says “No, but I will for the coffee pot.”
Sea kelp.
If I wanted to pick up a date in a bar, I'd go to a health food store.
What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart!
Hahahaha...
How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Forty five. We just don’t know why and they won’t tell.
LOL
Thanks, smoking frog. I’ve been so perturbed about BO and the tyranny in our government this past week. I needed a couple of really good laughs.
I like #1, 2, and 4!
OK, that was funny too!
Two robins sat in a tree. “I’m really hungry,” said the first one. “Me, too,” said the second. “Let’s fly down and find some lunch.” They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was just full of worms. They ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more. “I’m so full I don’t think I can fly back up into the tree,” said the first one. “Me either. Let’s just lay back here and bask in the warm sun,” said the second. “OK,” said the first. So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought...
“I just love baskin’ robins.”
Boy I did "Nazi" this coming...
Thanks for this. Man I sure needed the laugh!
A poached egg, a piece of bacon and a slice of toast walk into a bar together. The egg says, “A round of beers for me and my pals, here.”
The bartender leans over the bar and squints to take a closer look at the trio and says, “Sorry bud, but we dont serve breakfast here.
After he graduated, he met the love of his life. Her name was Edith.
They became quite serious and John told me he wanted to marry Edith but she was not looking to be a young widow due to his heavy weight and refused.
I told him if he really loved her, he'd have to lose weight. "It's simple, John. You can't have your cake and Edith too."
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, “I must have taken Leif off my census.”
Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, “I think not.” And he vanished.
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