Skip to comments.Top TSA Slogans On Twitter
Posted on 11/16/2010 5:43:10 AM PST by careyb
Here are my favorites:
Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.
Grope discounts available.
If we did our job any better we'd have to buy you dinner first.
Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.
Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
Throw a few back at the airport Chili's and you won't even notice.
Wanna fly? Drop your fly.
We've handled more balls than Barney Frank
We are now free to move about your pants
We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.
It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.
When in doubt, we make you whip it out.
TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'
You were a virgin.
We handle more packages than the USPS
All your junk belongs to us.
The friendly skys start here.
For all the idiots who think this will keep them safe from terrorists, the baggage crew may be loading explosives into the cargo hold under your seat, while you are showing your seat to the TSA.
You crack us up when we’re up your crack.
FWIW, I’d rather have a simultaneous root canal and IRS audit than fly.
I’m really of mixed minds on this. I can see that there is a real risk of terrorists smuggling bombs onboard unless people are thoroughly checked. But the TSA appears to focus more attenton on grannies than anyone else. The constitution isn’t super clear on this point, because the TSA would simply deny that their searches qualify as unreasonable.
If a guy wore a burka would he still have to be manhandled?
TEA party- TOUCHED ENOUGH ALREADY
If they did it to everyone it would be different, Muslim women are being excluded from the scans and pat downs are only to the neck and head area.
Young children should never have an adult pat them down in this manner.
Not to mention the cargo from Yemen which has never been screened.
The TSA isn’t silly, they just want to inspect your willy.
“I can see that there is a real risk of terrorists smuggling bombs onboard unless people are thoroughly checked”
Perhaps to reassure us about the necessity for this program, TSA should release reports of the airline bombing terrorist plots by Catholics, Protestants, and Jews that they have thwarted since 2001.
Adults should never be patted down in this manner, either.
Stroke of the hand, law of the land.
Muslim women are exempt?? Then why the HELL do they seach anyone? The main threat is being allowed to walk right into the plane while they frisk normal americans. Why are muslims excluded? What reason does the TSA give for letting them waltz right through?
I don't doubt what you are saying here, but could you give me a link or two where it is documented? I would like to be able to back it up when I talk about it with my tolerant friends and relatives.
I flew through Detroit once. WASPy li’l ol’ me got selected for an extra special search. Oddly enough, none of the Arabic speaking males on the flight were pestered. Go figger.
It’s for your own protection. Submit, or we will straight-up murder your a$$.
give me afew minutes to find it..it has been on FR since the weekend. CAIR is behind it
TSA = Touching Sensitive Areas
(I wish this thread was funny because it really isn’t)
TSA ad; 'We juggle a lot of balls, to make sure your flight is safe. We scan the area, only exempting people we know are no threat. Like people in hijabs. We think of every possible place you could put a bomb. We check your 'trunk' AND your 'luggage'. TSA: We're on the ball(s)'.
I read it this last weekend. they are exempt. the very reason the rest of us are having to put up with Napolitano’s stunts.
From CAIR Travel advisory
Special recommendations for Muslim women who wear hijab:
* If you are selected for secondary screening after you go through the metal detector and it does not go off, and “sss” is not written on your boarding pass, ask the TSA officer if the reason you are being selected is because of your head scarf.
* In this situation, you may be asked to submit to a pat-down or to go through a full body scanner. If you are selected for the scanner, you may ask to go through a pat-down instead.
* Before you are patted down, you should remind the TSA officer that they are only supposed to pat down the area in question, in this scenario, your head and neck. They SHOULD NOT subject you to a full-body or partial-body pat-down.
* You may ask to be taken to a private room for the pat-down procedure.
* Instead of the pat-down, you can always request to pat down your own scarf, including head and neck area, and have the officers perform a chemical swipe of your hands.
* If you encounter any issues, ask to speak to a supervisor immediately. They are there to assist you.
Terrorists already have breast implant bombs and butt bombs. None of this stuff does a thing about any of that. If we’re just looking for devices there will always be a way to conceal them, unless the TSA performs full-body MRI’s of every person that enters an airport every day.
And if they’re gonna exclude Muslim women from being searched, they’ve already left the door wide open for the prime group that would do a terrorist act - especially since Muslim women have been fitted with breast implant bombs and have carried out terrorist attacks in Iraq.
And if there were no women whose lives have been made miserable enough to make them suicidal, any terroristic man in pursuit of 72 virgins forever at his beck and call can hide as a woman in full hijab, where nothing but the eyes are exposed.
These measures are window dressings to make it APPEAR that the terrorist threat is being taken seriously, but if the terrorist threat was truly being taken seriously we would look for TERRORISTS rather than merely devices - like the Israelis do very, very successfully in their airlines. And we would not exclude the prime perpetrators from the scrutiny. This is an ineffective “security” show, whose only success is to effectively institutionalize the subjection of “infidels”.
Do you know if the TSA has actually said they will abide by this head and neck only standard? I suppose their other option is to get sued by people with all the Saudi money at their disposal.
TSA has always stood for “Thumb Stuck in Ass”, just never the way it does now...
Sexual harassment: turn taboo into a career!
Relax. Government unions have been doing this to you for years.
Authorized smoking areas now available after every checkpoint.
Don't think of it as government intrusion ... wait, let me rephrase that.
CAIR. They'll sue you for calling them on themselves.
TSA = Thousands Standing Around
TSA You don’t get on till we get off!
We wear rubber gloves to protect us from you, but notice we use the same pair to search all of you.
I am SO ashamed of myself for laughing at that.
Just set down. In a few minutes the shame will go away. LOL
I *am* sitting down and it’s *not*....now I’m giggling ~again~.
I heard CAIR was demanding this and Homeland Security was supposed to be considering it. I don't know if that was a serious consideration or the bureaucratic "Yeaaaaah, we'll get right on that" while dumping the demand into the shredder.
We need a little fun on this forum once in a while. Loved the video of the 13 year old getting a motarcycle escort from vetrans. Warmed my heart.
I run with a small group of witty-but-giddy FR pranksters.
Would you like me to ping you to our outbursts of random, [occasionally innapropriate] serial madness?....:)
We have a great time...even when we try to out-obscure-reference each other to the point that none of us has any idea what we were initially talking about....LOL
TSA = Thousands Squeezing A**es
Im am sure there will video up on youtube the first time some hajab wearing women only gets a head pat down
I’ve just been reading TSA’s website. They have a special page for hajj pilgrims (gag) but nowhere did it say that muslim women are actually exempt from pat-downs or scans. Does anyone where the TSA specifically said that muslim women are exempt from searches?
CAIR wants them exempt not the TSA but knowing our pussified government they will cave in to CAIR
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