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Top TSA Slogans On Twitter
Twitter ^ | 11/15/10 | Various

Posted on 11/16/2010 5:43:10 AM PST by careyb

Here are my favorites:

Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.

Grope discounts available.

If we did our job any better we'd have to buy you dinner first.

Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.

Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.

Throw a few back at the airport Chili's and you won't even notice.

Wanna fly? Drop your fly.

We've handled more balls than Barney Frank

We are now free to move about your pants

We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.

It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.

When in doubt, we make you whip it out.

TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'

You were a virgin.

We handle more packages than the USPS


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: tsa; tsapervs
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1 posted on 11/16/2010 5:43:14 AM PST by careyb
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To: careyb

All your junk belongs to us.


2 posted on 11/16/2010 5:45:16 AM PST by mewzilla
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To: careyb

The friendly skys start here.


3 posted on 11/16/2010 5:48:10 AM PST by thethirddegree
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To: mewzilla

For all the idiots who think this will keep them safe from terrorists, the baggage crew may be loading explosives into the cargo hold under your seat, while you are showing your seat to the TSA.


4 posted on 11/16/2010 5:51:30 AM PST by kittymyrib
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To: careyb

You crack us up when we’re up your crack.


5 posted on 11/16/2010 5:52:20 AM PST by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
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To: kittymyrib

FWIW, I’d rather have a simultaneous root canal and IRS audit than fly.


6 posted on 11/16/2010 5:53:29 AM PST by mewzilla
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To: careyb

I’m really of mixed minds on this. I can see that there is a real risk of terrorists smuggling bombs onboard unless people are thoroughly checked. But the TSA appears to focus more attenton on grannies than anyone else. The constitution isn’t super clear on this point, because the TSA would simply deny that their searches qualify as unreasonable.


7 posted on 11/16/2010 5:53:33 AM PST by Celtic Cross (I AM the Impeccable Hat.)
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To: mewzilla

If a guy wore a burka would he still have to be manhandled?


8 posted on 11/16/2010 5:55:23 AM PST by butterdezillion (.)
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To: careyb

TEA party- TOUCHED ENOUGH ALREADY


9 posted on 11/16/2010 5:55:33 AM PST by silverleaf (All that is necessary for evil to succeed, is that good men do nothing)
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To: Celtic Cross

If they did it to everyone it would be different, Muslim women are being excluded from the scans and pat downs are only to the neck and head area.

Young children should never have an adult pat them down in this manner.


10 posted on 11/16/2010 5:56:25 AM PST by boxerblues
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To: kittymyrib

Not to mention the cargo from Yemen which has never been screened.


11 posted on 11/16/2010 5:57:11 AM PST by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: careyb

The TSA isn’t silly, they just want to inspect your willy.


12 posted on 11/16/2010 5:58:29 AM PST by Le Chien Rouge
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To: Celtic Cross

“I can see that there is a real risk of terrorists smuggling bombs onboard unless people are thoroughly checked”

Perhaps to reassure us about the necessity for this program, TSA should release reports of the airline bombing terrorist plots by Catholics, Protestants, and Jews that they have thwarted since 2001.


13 posted on 11/16/2010 5:58:44 AM PST by silverleaf (All that is necessary for evil to succeed, is that good men do nothing)
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To: careyb

LOL


14 posted on 11/16/2010 5:59:13 AM PST by Mercat
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To: boxerblues

Adults should never be patted down in this manner, either.


15 posted on 11/16/2010 6:00:04 AM PST by july4thfreedomfoundation ("This is our moment, this is our movement, this is our morning in America!" Sarah Palin)
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To: careyb; 444Flyer

Stroke of the hand, law of the land.


16 posted on 11/16/2010 6:00:25 AM PST by Ezekiel (The Obama-nation began with the Inauguration of Desolation.)
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To: boxerblues

Muslim women are exempt?? Then why the HELL do they seach anyone? The main threat is being allowed to walk right into the plane while they frisk normal americans. Why are muslims excluded? What reason does the TSA give for letting them waltz right through?


17 posted on 11/16/2010 6:00:43 AM PST by Celtic Cross (I AM the Impeccable Hat.)
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To: boxerblues
If they did it to everyone it would be different, Muslim women are being excluded from the scans and pat downs are only to the neck and head area.

I don't doubt what you are saying here, but could you give me a link or two where it is documented? I would like to be able to back it up when I talk about it with my tolerant friends and relatives.

18 posted on 11/16/2010 6:01:57 AM PST by aberaussie
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To: butterdezillion

I flew through Detroit once. WASPy li’l ol’ me got selected for an extra special search. Oddly enough, none of the Arabic speaking males on the flight were pestered. Go figger.


19 posted on 11/16/2010 6:02:54 AM PST by mewzilla (Hey, Schumer, how's that Lockerbie bomber deal investigation coming along?)
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To: careyb

It’s for your own protection. Submit, or we will straight-up murder your a$$.


20 posted on 11/16/2010 6:03:27 AM PST by Smelly_Fed
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To: aberaussie

give me afew minutes to find it..it has been on FR since the weekend. CAIR is behind it


21 posted on 11/16/2010 6:03:52 AM PST by boxerblues
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To: thethirddegree

TSA = Touching Sensitive Areas

(I wish this thread was funny because it really isn’t)

):^(


22 posted on 11/16/2010 6:04:51 AM PST by elcid1970 ("O Muslim! My bullets are dipped in pig grease!")
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To: careyb
I got one.

TSA ad; 'We juggle a lot of balls, to make sure your flight is safe. We scan the area, only exempting people we know are no threat. Like people in hijabs. We think of every possible place you could put a bomb. We check your 'trunk' AND your 'luggage'. TSA: We're on the ball(s)'.

23 posted on 11/16/2010 6:05:52 AM PST by Celtic Cross (I AM the Impeccable Hat.)
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To: boxerblues

I read it this last weekend. they are exempt. the very reason the rest of us are having to put up with Napolitano’s stunts.


24 posted on 11/16/2010 6:05:59 AM PST by television is just wrong
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To: aberaussie

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2625821/posts

From CAIR Travel advisory

Special recommendations for Muslim women who wear hijab:

* If you are selected for secondary screening after you go through the metal detector and it does not go off, and “sss” is not written on your boarding pass, ask the TSA officer if the reason you are being selected is because of your head scarf.
* In this situation, you may be asked to submit to a pat-down or to go through a full body scanner. If you are selected for the scanner, you may ask to go through a pat-down instead.
* Before you are patted down, you should remind the TSA officer that they are only supposed to pat down the area in question, in this scenario, your head and neck. They SHOULD NOT subject you to a full-body or partial-body pat-down.
* You may ask to be taken to a private room for the pat-down procedure.
* Instead of the pat-down, you can always request to pat down your own scarf, including head and neck area, and have the officers perform a chemical swipe of your hands.
* If you encounter any issues, ask to speak to a supervisor immediately. They are there to assist you.


25 posted on 11/16/2010 6:06:06 AM PST by boxerblues
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To: Celtic Cross

Terrorists already have breast implant bombs and butt bombs. None of this stuff does a thing about any of that. If we’re just looking for devices there will always be a way to conceal them, unless the TSA performs full-body MRI’s of every person that enters an airport every day.

And if they’re gonna exclude Muslim women from being searched, they’ve already left the door wide open for the prime group that would do a terrorist act - especially since Muslim women have been fitted with breast implant bombs and have carried out terrorist attacks in Iraq.

And if there were no women whose lives have been made miserable enough to make them suicidal, any terroristic man in pursuit of 72 virgins forever at his beck and call can hide as a woman in full hijab, where nothing but the eyes are exposed.

These measures are window dressings to make it APPEAR that the terrorist threat is being taken seriously, but if the terrorist threat was truly being taken seriously we would look for TERRORISTS rather than merely devices - like the Israelis do very, very successfully in their airlines. And we would not exclude the prime perpetrators from the scrutiny. This is an ineffective “security” show, whose only success is to effectively institutionalize the subjection of “infidels”.


26 posted on 11/16/2010 6:06:42 AM PST by butterdezillion (.)
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To: boxerblues

Do you know if the TSA has actually said they will abide by this head and neck only standard? I suppose their other option is to get sued by people with all the Saudi money at their disposal.


27 posted on 11/16/2010 6:11:41 AM PST by butterdezillion (.)
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To: Le Chien Rouge

LOL!


28 posted on 11/16/2010 6:14:03 AM PST by CanadianYankee
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To: careyb

TSA has always stood for “Thumb Stuck in Ass”, just never the way it does now...


29 posted on 11/16/2010 6:14:53 AM PST by Onelifetogive (I tweet, too...)
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To: careyb
Granny scan? Yes we can!

Sexual harassment: turn taboo into a career!

Relax. Government unions have been doing this to you for years.

Authorized smoking areas now available after every checkpoint.

Don't think of it as government intrusion ... wait, let me rephrase that.

30 posted on 11/16/2010 6:19:01 AM PST by Pan_Yan
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To: Celtic Cross
What reason does the TSA give for letting them waltz right through?

CAIR. They'll sue you for calling them on themselves.

31 posted on 11/16/2010 6:22:22 AM PST by IYAS9YAS (Liberalism can be summed up thusly: someone craps their pants and we all have to wear diapers)
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To: Le Chien Rouge
The TSA isn’t silly, they just want to inspect your willy.

Short arm inspections!
32 posted on 11/16/2010 6:32:01 AM PST by jimmango
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To: All

TSA = Thousands Standing Around


33 posted on 11/16/2010 6:36:48 AM PST by bennowens
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To: silverleaf

LOL!


34 posted on 11/16/2010 6:54:23 AM PST by Salamander (I may be lonely but I'm never alone...and the nights may pass me by....but I never cry.....)
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To: careyb

TSA You don’t get on till we get off!


35 posted on 11/16/2010 6:56:00 AM PST by 70th Division (I love my country but fear my government!)
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To: careyb

We wear rubber gloves to protect us from you, but notice we use the same pair to search all of you.


36 posted on 11/16/2010 6:56:31 AM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: 70th Division

I am SO ashamed of myself for laughing at that.

[brilliant, btw]


37 posted on 11/16/2010 6:57:16 AM PST by Salamander (I may be lonely but I'm never alone...and the nights may pass me by....but I never cry.....)
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To: Salamander

Just set down. In a few minutes the shame will go away. LOL


38 posted on 11/16/2010 7:03:08 AM PST by 70th Division (I love my country but fear my government!)
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To: 70th Division

I *am* sitting down and it’s *not*....now I’m giggling ~again~.

Stop it!....;-D


39 posted on 11/16/2010 7:09:13 AM PST by Salamander (I may be lonely but I'm never alone...and the nights may pass me by....but I never cry.....)
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To: boxerblues
If they did it to everyone it would be different, Muslim women are being excluded from the scans and pat downs are only to the neck and head area.

I heard CAIR was demanding this and Homeland Security was supposed to be considering it. I don't know if that was a serious consideration or the bureaucratic "Yeaaaaah, we'll get right on that" while dumping the demand into the shredder.

40 posted on 11/16/2010 7:11:14 AM PST by KarlInOhio (Dems' response to 11/2: Do not go gentle into that new day,Rage,rage against the coming of the dawn!)
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To: Salamander

We need a little fun on this forum once in a while. Loved the video of the 13 year old getting a motarcycle escort from vetrans. Warmed my heart.


41 posted on 11/16/2010 7:13:48 AM PST by 70th Division (I love my country but fear my government!)
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To: careyb

bttt


42 posted on 11/16/2010 7:22:31 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?)
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To: 70th Division

I run with a small group of witty-but-giddy FR pranksters.
Would you like me to ping you to our outbursts of random, [occasionally innapropriate] serial madness?....:)

We have a great time...even when we try to out-obscure-reference each other to the point that none of us has any idea what we were initially talking about....LOL


43 posted on 11/16/2010 7:22:45 AM PST by Salamander (I may be lonely but I'm never alone...and the nights may pass me by....but I never cry.....)
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To: bennowens

TSA = Thousands Squeezing A**es


44 posted on 11/16/2010 7:24:49 AM PST by hawkboy
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To: KarlInOhio

Im am sure there will video up on youtube the first time some hajab wearing women only gets a head pat down


45 posted on 11/16/2010 7:35:56 AM PST by boxerblues
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To: 70th Division

Great one!


46 posted on 11/16/2010 7:38:44 AM PST by careyb
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To: television is just wrong; All

I’ve just been reading TSA’s website. They have a special page for hajj pilgrims (gag) but nowhere did it say that muslim women are actually exempt from pat-downs or scans. Does anyone where the TSA specifically said that muslim women are exempt from searches?


47 posted on 11/16/2010 7:39:06 AM PST by Celtic Cross (I AM the Impeccable Hat.)
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To: Celtic Cross
I’m really of mixed minds on this. I can see that there is a real risk of terrorists smuggling bombs onboard unless people are thoroughly checked. But the TSA appears to focus more attenton on grannies than anyone else. The constitution isn’t super clear on this point, because the TSA would simply deny that their searches qualify as unreasonable.

Was recently at an airport and while going through screening, they had the full body scan and people being patted down. Turns out the people that they "randomly" chose to go through the full body scan ALSO got patted down. One such unlucky person was a well-endowed woman. Not only did she have to go through the full body scan because she beeped while going through the metal detector because of the wire in her underwire bra, but then they patted her down.

While walking by her being patted down, I heard the agent say, "Sorry about this." and the lady said, "That's okay. I had to go through the pat down last week too and while patting me down, they told me to raise my arms. I did but they said to raise them higher. I told them I couldn't because my shirt would open up. The agent moved my arms up higher and my blouse popped open, so I have already shown the world my stuff once."
48 posted on 11/16/2010 7:39:37 AM PST by Eagle of Liberty (formally known as Kerretarded....I changed my name)
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To: Celtic Cross

CAIR wants them exempt not the TSA but knowing our pussified government they will cave in to CAIR


49 posted on 11/16/2010 7:40:59 AM PST by boxerblues
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To: antiRepublicrat
We wear rubber gloves to protect us from you, but notice we use the same pair to search all of you.

Great point!

50 posted on 11/16/2010 7:42:04 AM PST by Eaker (Pablo is very wily)
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