Skip to comments.Latest Obama Executive Order: New Federal Golf Regulations (Satire)
Posted on 07/09/2012 5:05:30 PM PDT by whitedog57
Today, President Obama signed a new executive order creating even more regulation of the economy on top of Obamacare and the EPA.
New Federal Golf Regulations
President Obama has recently appointed a Golf Czar (Elizabeth Warren) and major regulatory changes in the game of golf will become effective January 1, 2013. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 1000+ pages) is being rewritten as people read it and see whats in it.
Here are a few of the changes.
Golfers with handicaps: - below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%. - between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees. - above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
The term gimmie will be changed to entitlement and will be used as follows: - handicaps below 10, no entitlements. - handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts. - handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.
This is intended to re-distribute the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only net score against every other players gross score. These new Regulations are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.
Golf should be about Fairness. It is not about ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility. Therefore this is the right thing to do.
(Excerpt) Read more at confoundedinterest.wordpress.com ...
I don’t golf, will the IRS be penalizing me?
Did you see that power stroke....I exploded the ball....
Caddy: "Sir....you teed up on an addled duck egg."