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Why Grown Men Walk Around Wearing Football Jerseys
Deadspin ^ | 9/5/2012 | Drew Magary

Posted on 09/05/2012 1:33:25 PM PDT by mojito

....I have a jersey I wear when my team plays on Sundays. It's not a good jersey. It's a lame-ass replica jersey I bought because I was too cheap to spring for the real deal. But I wear it. And do I feel like a stallion when I wear it? I DO. I totally do, even though I look like every other middle-aged man wearing an NFL jersey he shouldn't be wearing. I feel like I'm part of the team, which is just absurd.

NFL fans walk around in team jerseys all the time, and even though most of them look like schlubs, most of them FEEL better than they do at any other time of the week. In fact, the fatter and more out of shape you are, the more powerful a spell the jersey casts over your ego. Maybe you look like a real player. Maybe the head coach will be in dire need of a running back in the fourth quarter, see you through the TV screen, and summon you out to the field to go rip off the winning 90-yard swing pass. That will never happen, but the jersey is what lets you dream about it, and often the dream is vivid enough to make a decent substitute for reality. Which is good, because in reality you're fat and your team sucks.

So if you have a jersey sitting in your drawer, I beseech you to take it out right now and throw it on. Don't apologize for it. Don't worry about your girlfriend telling you that you look pathetic. She doesn't get it, man. She doesn't understand the POWER of the jersey. But you do. You put that jersey on and you get yourself fired the f**k up, because the NFL season starts TONIGHT....

(Excerpt) Read more at deadspin.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: nfl
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To: mojito

I’ll only wear a jersey with the name of my Lichtenstein bank.


61 posted on 09/05/2012 2:53:54 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: Doctor 2Brains

I can’t figure that out either. For the record, I wear sandals here and there, shirts with collars 95% of the time, no keds, groomed normal hairstyle, cleanshaven, NO TATS, and am a tad overweight, not obese.

The last time I can really remember wearing a jersey of any kind was around 11 or 12.


62 posted on 09/05/2012 2:53:59 PM PDT by wally_bert (There are no winners in a game of losers. I'm Tommy Joyce, welcome to the Oriental Lounge.)
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To: Revolting cat!

You response has silenced me...no witty retort.


63 posted on 09/05/2012 2:54:33 PM PDT by EEGator
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To: Carpe Cerevisi
I never understood why grown men would walk around wearing a jersey with another man’s name on it. Seems kind of childish to me.

I never felt the urge to live vicariously through another. Do not understand that phenomenon.
64 posted on 09/05/2012 2:56:28 PM PDT by Red in Blue PA (Read SCOTUS Castle Rock vs Gonzales before dialing 911!)
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To: wally_bert

65 posted on 09/05/2012 2:58:43 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi

You got it right. Childish. I go to church with Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and I find it amusing that other people are walking by him with his name on their backs.


66 posted on 09/05/2012 2:59:37 PM PDT by all the best (`~!)
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To: Carpe Cerevisi
I never understood why grown men would walk around wearing a jersey with another man’s name on it. Seems kind of childish to me.

Because a few grown women will actually believe the grown men when they try to pass themselves off as the player whose name is on the back of the jersey as the guy hopes to go in for the score.

"Yeah, lady, that's me. I'm Emmitt Smith. Sure, I looked different back in my playing days..."

In a related story, the AP ran an obit a few years ago about a player named Bill Henry who used to pitch in the majors back in the 60s. One reporter, who knew him from his playing days, called the reclusive player's wife to express his condolences.

"He ain't dead," said the wife. "He's right here having breakfast. You wanna talk to him?"

Turns out the deceased was an imposter whose own wife thought for 30 years that he was the retired pitcher. The AP had to run a retraction.

67 posted on 09/05/2012 3:01:20 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: EEGator

Your question sent me to Google - $149 for a piece of colored rag?!


68 posted on 09/05/2012 3:01:30 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: Revolting cat!

It’s crazy. I own zero jerseys, and that’s where it will remain.


69 posted on 09/05/2012 3:03:03 PM PDT by EEGator
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To: all the best

Don’t go to the bathroom when he’s in there.


70 posted on 09/05/2012 3:05:02 PM PDT by EEGator
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To: EEGator

I am proud to call Ben “brother”.


71 posted on 09/05/2012 3:07:07 PM PDT by all the best (`~!)
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To: Revolting cat!
The funniest thing is when the jock whose name is on the jersey you wear moves to the team you suppose to hate as a fan of his old team, and do hate it, and it happens right after you shelled out, what, $45 for the jersey.

You mean like Tim Tebow or Peyton Manning fans?

72 posted on 09/05/2012 3:07:53 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: Snickering Hound
Best selling Steelers jersey!


73 posted on 09/05/2012 3:10:55 PM PDT by nascarnation (Defeat Baraq 2012. Deport Baraq 2013)
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To: all the best

I’m only playing. My team is on the other side of the state. Our QB is a convicted felon.


74 posted on 09/05/2012 3:11:03 PM PDT by EEGator
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To: EEGator

Physics. Theoretical.


75 posted on 09/05/2012 3:13:48 PM PDT by lkco
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To: Revolting cat!

Try $150-250


76 posted on 09/05/2012 3:15:57 PM PDT by wac3rd (Somewhere in Hell, Ted Kennedy snickers.....)
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To: lkco

Cool. I’ve watched a bunch of MIT’s online classes just to get a different view on electrical engineering classes. I hope he does well. Does he have a career field in mind?


77 posted on 09/05/2012 3:17:02 PM PDT by EEGator
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To: Chipper
...and as long as all the "bits" are covered I could couldn't care less what anyone wears;-)
78 posted on 09/05/2012 3:25:35 PM PDT by Isabel C.
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To: mojito; All

I see no problem with someone wearing a jersey of his/her favorite team...or with a players name on the back.

I love sports, and love my teams and college. I am perfectly normal. In fact....those criticizing...I wonder if there is something wrong with THEM....

I have college jerseys of some of my Univ of Central Florida alums (UCF), Kevin Smith and Daunte Culpepper. Most college jerseys sold in stores, except for the throwbacks, do no have the players names on them. Oh, and, beat Ohio State this week!

I also have a Univ of Nebraska football jersey, and, a Bobby Joe Hill 1966 Texas Western basketball jersey...the last is my favorite

I also own two T-Shirt/Jersey’s...jersey mock-up with players name on back....one of Tampa Bay Rays Evan Longoria (#3) and one of Tampa Bay Lightning’s Martin St Louis (#26). Those two get the most comments.....the Longoria one I always hear “Tony Parker dumped her a—”, and the St Louis one “go Cards” or “Saint Lewis” (its pronounced San Lou-eee)


79 posted on 09/05/2012 3:30:27 PM PDT by SeminoleCounty (When is Fox News gonna fire Karl Rove?)
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To: Doctor 2Brains

I`d put Tombstone up with the best westerns ever made

Just can`t understand why they left that stupid slow

bullet scene in the final wrap


80 posted on 09/05/2012 3:32:29 PM PDT by Harold Shea (RVN `70 - `71)
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