DUmmie FUnnies 02-17-13 (Couponing Advice For DUmmies)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 17, 2013 | DUmmie alarimer, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

[COBOL2Java]

Sometimes I go there but I actually save more by going to Publix where my food bill is either FREE or close to it. Once cashier claims that I never spend more than $3 no matter how much stuff I get. My reply is if I spent as much as 3 bucks then I must be doing something wrong.

Wish we had one in Northern Virginia. I visited a Publix while working on a project in Augusta, GA. Great store!

[COBOL2Java]

I don't like TX much, either. But I moved here yrs ago because it does have a good economy.

Locust alert! Locust alert! Texas warning!

[COBOL2Java]

How can a DUmmy not be able to cook pasta still think that she can run my life and healthcare?

Psychological phenomenon known as compartmentalization. Inside the dummy brain is one compartment labeled "me" and another one labeled "you" (the totally generic "you" - think ants in an ant farm). The two compartments never cross.

So whatever failures or weaknesses occur in the "me" compartment have no relevancy in the "you" compartment. Ergo, they have no compunction whatsoever in making rules for the "you".

[fatboy]

DUmmy alarimer sez: I've been buying those sandwich flats, but I realize now at 6-8 for 3.99, it's cheaper to buy bread. I only bought them to save calories, because I'm also trying to lose weight.

OK, I think I see the problem. Our DUmmy in DIstress is an expert on consuming meals, not preparing them.

[ExCTCitizen]

I decided I will make the drive to Virginia Beach so I can shop at Trader Joe's instead of the more expensive grocery stores in town here

Psst... you could go to Save-A-Lot or Aldi to really save money...or even Wal-Mart..

I am clearly an idiot.

I agree with a DU member...

So the areas that I have identified as possible savings are in the grocery area. I spend over $300 a month (and get basically nothing for it). I end up going every other day or so because I don't really plan meals. I can't cook really. So I buy stuff like prepackaged pasta, which lasts me for two days, but still is pricier than the boxed pasta.

[Oh yeah. Cooking is such a highly technical skill that it is almost impossible to learn. Let's see. To make breakfast you slap a few slices of bacon on a pan and turn up the heat. Turn a few times and when done, crack a few eggs into the pan. Wait a couple of minutes, turn over, and then flip them on a plate next to the bacon. Yeah, it would take years of specialized training to learn those complex skills.]

Emeril LaGasse said "Cooking isn't rocket science" and I agree... my kids knows how to cook..

By the way for breakfast you can have cereal with milk and Orange juice...

Cooking for one sucks. All the more reason to be pissed at my ex-boyfriend.

Why are you pissed off at your ex b/f?

[Your ex-boyfriend split because he realized you were such a lazy idiot that you couldn't be bothered to learn even basic cooking. And now on to the other DUmmies]

LOL...My 7 y/o knows how to cook...

Well my first bit of advice is usually to tell folks to learn to cook, its MUCH cheaper than dining out or buying pre-packaged food. And healthier.

[But, but, learning to cook ranks right up there with nuclear physics.]

Or Rocket Science...

But if you don't want to do that, I think cutting back on eating out is a good idea. Also if you can get disciplined and actually plan meals ahead, you will cut some costs - even if you ONLY plan breakfast and lunch. You can then stock up on bulk yogurts, lunchmeat, cheese, bread etc and save $$ there. Think about the savings you can implement with the food itself. Do you always eat a bagel or english muffin for breakfast? Two pieces of toast have the same carbs but are much cheaper.

[Yeah, but learning how to put the bread slices into a toaster to make toast are way beyond DUmmie alarimer's learning skills.]

She or HE (DU alarimer) might not have a toaster, so he might boycott the evil WAL-MART... then where would he go???

People report really great prices on canned goods and other pre-packaged foods at dollar stores (I've never been). Maybe explore those?

[After coupons, canned goods are much cheaper (or FREE) in supermarkets.]

Or DUmmies, if you want to...go loot after hours for free food (and toasters, microwave ovens, coffee pots, Nu-Wave oven...) LOL

I don't buy clothes much at all.

Your mom never taught you to wash clothes?? Or are you a nudist??

crock pot. Your food bill will drop quickly.

[Crock pot advice for a crackpot.] LOL that's funny!!

I don't know how to use one. I have one that my sister gave me, but I have no idea what to do with it.

you go to the Library and take out a book of Crock Pot recipes... or you can go to a Book Store and buy it

[You sit atop the crock pot until an egg is laid, DUmmie alarimer.] LOL FUNNY!!!

Entertainment wise, I really don't go anywhere or do anything. No movies, or concerts. Maybe a couple of beers at a bar once a month or so. Bowling occasionally.

Maybe Obama might invite you to bowl with him...

Do you have an Aldi's near by? I save about 50% over my old grocery bills.

Oh my god... a DUmmies telling someone about Aldi's (which is a sister store of Trader Joe's)

Can you have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day?

or peanut butter and marshmallow or peanut butter and banana or peanut butter and pear...

One of my great childhood joys was that my mother prepared GREAT sandwiches for my school lunch box.

My mom did too...with apples, homemade cakes or cookies...or sometimes I went home to eat... (school was across the street from my house)

I have a wok & have used that a lot.

me too..

The idea is to never pay full price for items you use frequently. For example if margarine is on sale, plus you have a coupon, buy several because next week it will be full price.

[FINALLY. A DUmmie mentions coupons and also has the sense to advise using the coupons when the item is on sale.]

My god... a LIBERAL who uses coupons...

Coupons can help, but they never saved me much money.

[They won't help those with limited mental ability.]

Yes, it will....

I don't like TX much, either. But I moved here yrs ago because it does have a good economy.

[Unlike states run by DEMOCRATS like CA or IL.]

Or MA, NY or CT...

[ExCTCitizen]

Poor homosexuals. I thought they were heavily into gourmet cooking, or was it just pouring sauces over each other........

LOL...Funny!!

[ExCTCitizen]

How can a DUmmy not be able to cook pasta still think that she can run my life and healthcare?

She doesn't have time to cook... she needesa to put her nose in places it doesn't belong...like your life and healthcare...

[ExCTCitizen]

I had the same thoughts. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to use a crock pot. It's so easy, a cave man could do it.

I made a pot roast in the crock pot for the family yesterday... our boys are using it for turkey pot pie today... (and it smells delicious)

[ExCTCitizen]

Wish we had one in Northern Virginia. I visited a Publix while working on a project in Augusta, GA. Great store!

Publix is great, but I love The Fresh Market. I don't think Publix is as good as 'Big Y', Highland Park Market or Price Chopper in CT.

[Vision]

What do they need food for...Obama is president!

[carlo3b]

FYI.. Saw this I thought you might enjoy, seeing an amateur.. :)

http://www.kvoa.com/news/extreme-couponing-tucson-mom-shares-secrete-to-huge-savings/

[devolve]

COUPON QUEEN YouTube Video :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2e5zq0i3m0&feature=em-share_video_user