Posted on 03/09/2013 2:00:15 PM PST by John Semmens
The case for Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s “nanny-state” style of governance received a boost from a just-released study revealing that 80% of New York City’s public school graduates can’t read.
“I think this pretty much vindicates what I’ve been trying to do,” said a euphoric Bloomberg. “The demonstrated incompetence of those who graduate helps illustrate the magnitude of the problem when you realize that the majority of those who start high school in this city drop out before finishing.”
“Let’s face it, the average New Yorker is a moron,” Bloomberg elaborated. “These people are obviously unqualified to decide what to eat and drink, how much sleep or exercise they need, what to listen to or watch on TV. They need my help. Unlike my pusillanimous peers, I’m not afraid to take the reins and govern for benefit of those who can’t run their own lives.”
Bloomberg said he is working on a program to use the City’s extensive surveillance system to spot those up and about past a healthy bedtime hour and guide police to interdict offenders. “It’s not as airtight as a nightly ‘bed-check,’ but it’s the best we can do with current resources,” Bloomberg acknowledged. “We’re also looking at ways to use this system to organize some supervised callisthenics for those out on the streets during daylight hours. If Muslims can be called to prayer for a few minutes at intervals during the day surely we can call on people to do a few jumping-jacks and squat-thrusts for their health and fitness on a similar schedule.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2013/03/09/mccain-calls-fellow-senators-wacko-birds/
Only “semi”-satire?
I have a sick feeling in my stomach this might not be satire. Bloomberg is a dictatorial loon. He may actually believe your words even though you are being satirical.
This is more like full-blown satire. But you had better check the latest wire submissions from New York to be sure.
Yup!
Well, they're obviously not qualified to pick a mayor.
That would be at the foundation of his thinking.
It’s not satire, when it’s true.
Only "semi-news"?
And when you think about it, he’s been mayor for nearly 12 years, so how are those who started first grade in his first year doing? Are they ready to graduate?
A current Breitbart piece mentioned that a lot of Bloomie's fellow travelers in the media approve of his dictatorial antics, and therefore ignore or suppress reporting of his most outrageous sins against the law, common sense, and nature.
As for the satire angle, it neglects to include something to the effect of "...and, they [incompetent citizens] voted for me, a raving lunatic of the same vein as Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, and last but not least, Uncle Idi Amin dada...what more documented proof do you need?"
I was reading some comments on a news site a couple weeks ago about the gun debate, and I noticed some libs were going back and forth with some guy about the 2nd amendment saying the usual: “This is ridiculous! Tyranny could never happen in the USA”. So of course I had to butt in and point them to New York city. Can never happen? Excuse me, but it has happened and is happening. Displays of it are given every week if not every day in that city. The constitution does not exist nor does the individual. There is only the despot.
The guy has too much money, and too much power for OUR good.
The guy has too much money, and too much power for OUR good.
I believe the resident of NY have mental issues to keep electing communist Marxist dictator Wanna-Be’s like BloomingIdiotBerg.
So, Bloomberg is saying that 80 percent of NYC dwellers are illiterate and they need him to: (1) tell them when and what to eat, (2) when and what to drink, (3) when and whom to screw, (4) when and what drugs to do, and (5) do whatever he says because he’s the brains of this hive? Right on, Mikey!
OK Blog Pimp Killer, why aren’t you on this guy? He’s pimping the spit out of his blog and refuses to add (Satire) in the subject line to help us out. Not only does he refuse to do it, he’s been pretty damn arrogant about it. My request is simple and completely reasonable, just add (Satire) in the subject line so that it can be seen BEFORE clicking on it and opening it. I know he has it in the key word list but that is not visible until AFTER you open and scroll down. I know his stuff is funny and creative but bottom line is he is pimping his own blog, he’s not putting the full text of his own blog article and openly solicites traffic to his blog... I KNOW that’s the stuff that fuels your fire, help a brother out here.
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