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Top Ten Secret Obama Economic Proposals
White House Dossier ^ | 7/29/13 | Keith Koffler

Posted on 07/29/2013 10:08:57 AM PDT by Nachum

President Obama is being criticized for failing to offer any new economic proposals as part of his recent series of speeches on the economy. But in fact, Obama has dozens of new ideas waiting in the wings. He just hasn’t announced them yet.

Meeting with a secret source in the basement of a garage in Rossyln, Virginia – just outside of Washington – White House Dossier was told, follow the money. Trying that and finding out nothing, White House Dossier called second source who turned over the information in exchange for a liter of Southern Comfort and some amusing imitations of Donald Duck.

Here, then, are the top ten as yet unrevealed Obama economic proposals.

*******

1. Go to Russia to see if there are any Kulaks left and relieve them of their land.

2. Assess special tax on people who pronounce rather as “rahther.”

3. Open store on Pennsylvania Avenue with free stuff.

4. Add 10 million rich people to “the one percent” but still call it “the one percent.”

5. Direct IRS to audit anyone who claims, “I built that.”

6. Construct massive butter knife to spread the wealth around.

7. Force employers to hire any jobseeker who is clothed.

8. Corporate CEOs must voluntary reduce income by 30 percent or have their liver removed.

9. Businesses forbidden to fire anyone unless they can show employee was “intentionally incompetent.”

10. Social Security retirement age lowered to 21, unless person wants subsidized graduate school education.

*******

What are your sources telling you about potential new Obama initiatives?


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: economic; proposals; secre; tobama
Actually there are Eleven:

11. Screw------> Everybody.

1 posted on 07/29/2013 10:08:58 AM PDT by Nachum
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To: Nachum

> Actually there are Eleven:
11. Screw———> Everybody.

Modify to:

11. Screw ———> Everybody except themselves


2 posted on 07/29/2013 10:17:36 AM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: Nachum

Kulaks = Middle Class

Velcome to Russia, Circa 1900-1980


3 posted on 07/29/2013 10:18:01 AM PDT by GraceG
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To: Nachum

My sources tell me one of his economic proposals is to get the government listed as a joint tenant on all bank accounts.


4 posted on 07/29/2013 10:29:04 AM PDT by Jeff Winston
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To: Jeff Winston

The government has some of the best joints, dude.


5 posted on 07/29/2013 10:43:40 AM PDT by johnthebaptistmoore (The world continues to be stuck in a "all leftist, all of the time" funk. BUNK THE FUNK!)
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To: Nachum

exerpt Gods of the Copybook Headings

...And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!


6 posted on 07/29/2013 11:08:35 AM PDT by HangnJudge
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To: Nachum
7. Force employers to hire any jobseeker who is clothed.

UNFAIR!! Discrimination against all nudists!!

7 posted on 07/29/2013 12:13:05 PM PDT by Zack Attack
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