Judge Grants Obama Uncle Asylum

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 Dec 2013 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Judge Leonard Shapiro of the Department of Justice’s Immigration Court approved President Obama’s Uncle Onyango Obama’s application for legal residency in the United States saying that “the applicant is a gentleman, a good neighbor, paid his taxes, and met the criteria for legal permanent residency. When you add the fact that his nephew is the President of the United States it would be unseemly for us to deny him.”

“Remember, the President has acknowledged that hundreds of people have been killed on his orders,” Shapiro pointed out. “Many of those killed have relatives and associates still living in the region to which Onyango Obama would be deported. Thus, there is the risk that he could be taken hostage or murdered in retaliation. Rather than ousting the man we ought to consider whether he merits Secret Service protection.”

Onyango has been in the country illegally since a 1992 deportation order following the expiration of his student visa and failure to pay taxes. He escaped attention until 2011 when he was arrested on a drunk driving charge. His residency status has been under review at the DOJ for the last 18 months.

Up until this past week President Obama denied he ever met this uncle. However, documentary proof to the contrary elicited a belated admission that the two had lived together briefly during the President’s days at Harvard University.

Press Secretary Jay Carney insisted that “the President didn’t lie about never having met his uncle. He didn’t even know this guy was his uncle. For one, this man was going by the name of Omar. To the young Barack, Omar’s place was just somewhere to crash and smoke weed. He can’t be held responsible for not realizing who this person was thirty years ago.”

In related news, reportedly, Bill Ayers, the rumored ghost-writer of Obama’s autobiography—Dreams from My Father, may publicly admit his authorship. His motive is said to be “apoplexy” over the mind-numbing incompetence of the Obama Administration. “A revolution can abide stealth, deceit, violence, murder, and even even tyranny in pursuit of its aims, but it cannot tolerate stupidity,” Ayers is said to have told friends.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/12/07/pundit-in-awe-of-obama/

[molson209]

Hundreds of Obama friends and relatives coming to a town near you before 2017

[Jim Robinson]

When Obama owns the judges, all justice will be according to Obama.

[The_Media_never_lie]

Up until this past week President Obama denied he ever met this uncle. However, documentary proof to the contrary elicited a belated admission that the two had lived together briefly during the President’s days at Harvard University.

Says it all. All you ever need to know about Onyango and Odumbo.

[Recompennation]

Of coase he appoved it......

[The Great RJ]

Obama’s aunty Zeituni Oyango also didn’t get deported and even got a hip replacement from Medicaid while here illegally.