President Obama makes legal immigration more fair and equitable [Attempted satire]

Dan Miller's Blog ^ | February 9, 2014 | Dan Miller

[DanMiller]

Again proving that His pen is mightier than constitutional governance, President Obama has issued executive decrees applying identical standards to documented and undocumented immigrants.

Obstructionist Republicans have expressed concern about a recent executive decree allowing immigrants who have given "limited support" to terrorists to enter the country lawfully.

President Obama’s use of an executive directive to ease the rules for people trying to enter the United States or stay in the country even though they have given “limited” support to terrorists or terror groups is causing problems for Republicans working on immigration reform.

"President Obama should be protecting U.S. citizens rather than taking a chance on those who are aiding and abetting terrorist activity and putting Americans at greater risk," says Virginia GOP Rep. Robert Goodlatte, chairman of the House Judiciary Committee and part of the GOP House leadership team working on immigration reform.

He and other Republican lawmakers argued that the administration is relaxing rules designed by Congress to protect the country from terrorists.

The Republican position is, of course, nonsense. Al Qaeda died when President Obama killed Osama bin Laden, He has eliminated all threats of domestic terrorism by foreigners and only isolated incidents of workplace violence by Tea Party Terrorists now occur.

President Obama is merely trying, in His own enlightened and compassionate but humble way, to give those who wish to enter or remain in the country lawfully the same rights and privileges as illegals those who cross our borders or remain in the country without prior governmental permission. Federal authorities do not know who the undocumented entrants are, where they came from, what they brought with them, why they left home or what they intend to do in the United States (beyond voting for the most promising Democrat available).

It is, therefore, unfair to gather any information about those who hope to enter (or remain in) the United States lawfully. Hence, there will be no more restrictions on "legal" immigrants based on:

♥ Highly infectious or communicable diseases; ♥ Criminal records; ♥ Terrorist associations; ♥ Poverty; ♥ Education or lack thereof; ♥ Skills or lack thereof suitable for lawful employment; ♥ Domestic needs for skilled employees; ♥ Anything else.

Opponents of comprehensive immigration reform have long complained that our allegedly porous borders -- and lack of standards for those who cross them without prior permission -- have put those who strangely try to proceed in accordance with our archaic laws at an unfair disadvantage. Acknowledging that the position makes sense, President Obama has also decreed that there will be no further delays or financial burdens associated with approval to enter or to remain in the United States indefinitely. Everyone already on a waiting list to enter or remain has already been approved by executive decree and no visa or other documentation will henceforth be required to enter or to remain indefinitely.

The Republican establishment, once it understands the humanitarian bases for the President's decree, will obviously agree that it is the fair and equitable way to proceed. The only question remaining is whether President Obama's high regard for future Democrat voters fairness and equality is shared by Republicans.

[abclily]

Any Mexican who completed the 8th grade in Mexico is better educated than many of our high school graduates. Even the poorest of Mexicans are educated in Catholic schools. Manufacturers who have moved to Mexico find the populace there better educated than our workers. Mexicans can follow written directions better than our workers - all because of their Catholic educations.

[Dick Bachert]