Skip to comments.Sunday: First World Problems Day
Posted on 04/06/2014 10:03:06 AM PDT by NOBO2012
Today is First World Problem (FWP) Day: In which we examine issues and problems that only occur because as a culture we have more than our fair share of everything, including time to be outraged:
So here we go, in no particular order, this weeks First World Problems:
1. Our culture of plenty has resulted in an epidemic of obesity.
Overweight kids have forced Lady M to lower the boom on fattening school lunches, resulting in cut backs on portions and variety.
This has caused some student blow-back. (caution: colorful language)
2. Our culture of Plenty and resulting obesity epidemic has caused a preoccupation with body-image:
Is your selfie looking a little on the plump side? Theres an app for that: Skinneepix. Now anyone can look like a super-slimmed down version of themselves. Note: I find this FWP quite threatening as it seriously impacts my job security.
3. Our culture of plenty provides time to think about everyone who causes us personal slights and insults:
We now have time to be outraged by the governments failure to enforce strict separation of church and state: Majed Moughni of Dearbornistan was upset that his kids in public school were invited to an event that belaboredly avoided using the word Easter in its flyer for an Easter egg hunt.
My son was like, Dad, I really dont feel comfortable getting these flyers, telling me to go to church. I thought churches are not supposed to mix with schools.
Concerned parent showing offensive eggstravaganza invitation: at a CHRISTIAN CHURCH!
My reaction is like, Dad, when did interfaith dialogue turn into a one-way street?
4. Our culture of plenty has allowed us to eliminate many childhood maladies.
Having cured or eliminated so many childhood diseases, we have to invent new ones to provide a focus for parental concern over their childrens failure to be exceptional. Among the hot new diagnoses of abnormality: boyhood.
What are we doing to young boys? The side effects of the drugs used to address the pathology known as boyhood include heart problems, bipolar disorder, increased aggressive behavior, manic symptoms, sleeping problems, weight loss, suicidal ideation, and more. Is is worth it? Are we better off as a society with the massive use of these drugs?
And my final First World Problem of the week:
5. Our culture of plenty has resulted in a preoccupation with the superficial.
No, Im not talking about our Talk-Show-Guest-In-Chief, Im talking about fashion.
And I admit, Im as guilty as anyone. After all, reflecting on fashion is my one of my many pre-programmed destinies. Butt clearly I am not alone; take a look at how many people had the same reaction I did to our normally lovely Megyn Kellys unfortunate wardrobe choice for last Fridays show:
Yeah, no. This is a fashion-fail.
Hoo-wee! The comments are brutal. Some even compared Megyns jumper over tight t-shirt dress to Oprahs infamous, uh, phallic dress:
Lets not get carried away. I confess, on Saturdays post I considered asking if any of my regular readers were weary of the Fox babes coming to work in their Speedos. Then I determined that some restraint was in order as I, myself, have occasionally broadcast *ahem* less than optional reflections of Lady Ms *ahem* bosoms.
However, as the Twitterverse has spoken, and will not be silenced by the angry mob, I pass this on for informational purposes only.
Im sure Ive missed many of last weeks First World Problems. Feel free to augment my report.
Meanwhile: dont forget to eat your FWP lunch, as proscribed by your government - that knows whats good for you better than you do.
Posted from: Michelle Obamas Mirror
Is this satire? I think it might be real.
We DO have the fattest “poor” people in the world!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.