President Calls Return of Bergdahl a "Mission of Mercy"

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 June 2014 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

President Obama continued to insist that Sgt Bergdahl's health was a major factor in his decision to negotiate the exchange with the Taliban.

"On the videos I saw he looked sick," the President said. "And based on what I've been reading in the newspapers the waiting time for medical treatment for veterans is dangerously long. As it is, veterans already in this country have to wait months, possibly years, to receive critically needed care. I felt it was crucial for me to get Bergdahl back as soon as possible so he could take his place on this lengthy queue."

The President denied that the price paid for Bergdahl's release might've been too high. "There's an old Chinese saying that it is better than a hundred guilty men go free than that one innocent man suffer," Obama recalled. "I only let five guilty men go free, so we really got quite a bargain."

Obama discounted the possibility that the five Gitmo prisoners he released would soon rejoin their jihad against the United States. "While it is, of course, possible that they may resume their terrorist attacks, I for one, wouldn't bet on it," the President declared. "Under the terms of the agreement for their release we are paying for all their expenses for an indefinite period at a five-star hotel in Qatar. If it were me there'd be no way I'd give up those kinds of perks to go into the desert or mountains to fight well-armed US troops. I mean, unlimited golf, satellite TV, fine dining vs. dodging bullets and drones. Come on, it's a no brainer."

Whether the President's assessment of the odds is something to count on is dubious, though. According to a study by the RAND Corporation there has been more than a 50% increase in the number of jihadi groups and the number of jihadi fighters has tripled since Obama became President.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/157111-2014-06-06-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-june-8-2014.htm

[cloudmountain]

President Calls Return of Bergdahl a "Mission of Mercy"

1. Court martial

2. Firing squad

[ExTexasRedhead]

Remember Benghazi!

[gusopol3]

A+++

[Hotlanta Mike]

BARRY H. PATTON EXPLAINS HOW WARS ARE WON

Michael Ramirez brings his genius to bear on the Bergdahl fiasco; he imagines our president as George Patton, only more befuddled. Click to enlarge:

http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2014/06/barry-h-patton-explains-how-wars-are-won.php

[txrefugee]

Just so Jeb doesn’t decide to call it “an act of love.”

By the way, why doesn’t The Liar-in-Chief show some mercy to the Marine captured by Mexico? Oh, that’s right…Sgt. Tahmooressi isn’t a Muslim. His mother better learn some Arabic if she wants the Emperor’s help.

[baddog 219]