Posted on 06/30/2014 10:56:36 AM PDT by John Semmens
President Obama is seeking to make being employed by the federal government a more pleasant experience. Along these lines he is introducing more flexible work hours.
“Analysis by the best work management experts shows that it doesn’t really matter how many hours government employees spend on the job,” Obama said. “Whether they’re at their desks or not doesn’t seem to make any difference in the output of meaningful work. So why not reduce the burden of reporting to work?”
Not being required to actually go in to work in order to earn a federal paycheck was described as “a major hike in the benefit of a government job for the employees affected” said the report referred to by the President. “The disutility of having to invest so many hours in preparing for work, traveling to work, and sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day can be significantly reduced if the number or employees required to make this investment is lower.”
Benefits for employees weren’t the only upside cited in the report: “The more federal jobs that are converted from ‘no-work’ to ‘no-show’ status the less stress will be placed on urban traffic. Those who must actually produce a product or service in order to earn a living will face less traffic congestion traveling to work.”
President Obama rejected the report’s implication that a considerable amount of expense could be avoided if the unneeded employees were terminated. “The idea that the government should simply release unneeded employees fails to take into consideration the impact that would have on our economy,” the President argued. “The money we spend on the salaries of these redundant workers is vital to sustaining our GDP. Think of all the businesses that depend upon the money federal employees spend. If they lose these customers our economy will tank.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/06/28/president-tries-to-fend-off-evidence-of-incompetence/
Fire them all. Plenty flexible then.
Life imitates art. Nancy Pelosi made the same argument for extending unemployment benefits.
“Fire them all. Plenty flexible then.”
That’s the best choice. Second best would be to pay them and let them stay home. Less destruction that way.
The money we spend on the salaries of these redundant workers is vital to sustaining our GDP.
Guess he didn’t see what where the GDP is at ah must be another one of his stupid spasms going on.
I wonder if The Genius(tm) realizes the full implications of this statement.
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