GOOD NEWS: Your Odds of Being Killed in a Freak Vending Machine Accident are Only 112M-to-One

Reaganite Republican ^ | 23 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican

[Reaganite Republican]

This according to the Book of Odds- below are more amusing stats, which might be better called 'frequencies', since as 'chances' they can't possibly apply to all people
(not everybody uses vending machines, for instance):

• Odds of any child being born with at least one extra finger or toe? 1-in-500

• The odds of any American boy born in 1950 being named 'Robert' are just 21.8-to-1

• You're not paranoid if you're Honduran, they really are after you (and odds are pretty good they'll getcha, too): 
  1 of every 1100 citizens of that Central American country will be murdered there over the course of a year.

• And worldwide, 57% of murderers are never punished -not with any jailtime- meaning more likely to get away with it than not,
  although that number is as low as 20% in Europe (the other extreme would be ISIS caliphate, where they give you a medal).

• 1 in 2.2 billion: Odds of any New Yorker being fatally pushed in front of a subway train this year.

• There's a 1-in-3000 chance you'll be struck by lighting at least once in your life.

• Odds of winning Texas Lotto (min. payout $4M)? 25.5M-to-1

• The odds of meeting your life partner/spouse on a blind date? 34.5-to-1

• The chance you'll find a pearl in any single oyster you pop open is a longshot at 12,000-to-1

• It's a 270-to-1 chance any given NFL kickoff will be returned
  all the way for a TD

• And any inhabitant of this planet is -on average- more likely to be killed by a donkey than to die in a plane crash... but hey, at least the donkey won't steal your clothes.

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 Book of Odds   Democratic Underground   The Economist   Euromaidan Press   National Geographic   New York Post   Oddee   She Knows  

[Reaganite Republican]

***ping***

[Jack Hydrazine]

“Odds of any child being born with at least one extra finger or toe? 1-in-500”

I saw a kid at middle school once who had one. He was a bit sensitive about it if you stared too long.

[NonValueAdded]

It’s a base-11 world

[T-Bone Texan]

My sixth grade teacher's daughter had an extra toe.

She also turned out to be a lesbo. What are the odds of that, and I wonder if she would have extra value in that, um, community.

You know, when scissoring, or something.

[needmorePaine]

Never tell me the odds!

[DariusBane]

Oh dear.

[Buckeye McFrog]

Unless we are talking those old mechanical voting machines from the 60’s. You could develop a fatal hernia just trying to wheel one around.

[SolidRedState]

•The odds of meeting your life partner/spouse on a blind date? 34.5-to-1

I met my wife on a blind date in 1973. Married her 18 months later.

Will be celebrating our 40th in April.

:)

[T-Bone Texan]

"Oh dear"

Did I overshare?

If so, I apologize.

But it's not every day you run across a 12-toed lesbo!

[Jack Hydrazine]

Extra traction!

[DariusBane]

ha ha!

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

Yes, the courts are notoriously soft on those vending machine freaks, who stalk innocent people until, in a moment of weakness for a Snickers(tm) bar, they foolishly pay these instruments of death, unknowing that their hideous, inhuman, machine brain is waiting for just the right opportunity to tip over and crush the life out of their latest victim.

And not only that, but not give them their Snickers(tm) bar!

[Marko413]

Repairman 1#: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repairman 1#: Oh... yeah. [He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm... ]
Repairman 2#: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?
Homer: Your point being...?

[Reaganite Republican]

I read something interesting recently, re extra fingers and toes: the rarely have any feeling or mobility because the associated nerve endings aren’t there.... the extra is kind of a numb phantom

[Reaganite Republican]

I would have deserved it in high school, reaching up in there with a coat hanger

[Reaganite Republican]

Bless you, SRS

[SolidRedState]

Thank you!