Posted on 11/17/2014 9:27:33 AM PST by John Semmens
Now that global warming has been tamed by record breaking cold spells across the nation, former Vice-President Al Gore is looking for new worlds to conquer. That new world appears to be the establishment of a “national policy on food.”
“Under current rules, what a person eats is largely left up to each person to decide,” Gore pointed out. “Judging from the rates of obesity, it seems clear that the idea that letting individuals choose what to eat is not working. It is way past time that experts in the field of nutrition be given the authority to determine healthier eating patterns for everyone.”
Gore blamed Americans’ poor eating habits on “ignorance and lack of self-discipline. Both of these faults can be overcome by a more assertive government. By empowering those educated in nutrition to lay out the menus for all Americans we can bypass the ignorance factor. By eliminating the bad food choices we can neutralize the lack of self-discipline. If bad choices are barred, only healthy choices will be left. Then no one will be able to select an unhealthy diet.”
The former Veep acknowledged that “achieving an ideal diet for every American will be a difficult and arduous task. It won’t happen overnight, but through a steady policy of penalties on poor food options—like added excise taxes on fats, sweets, fast food, etc.–combined with subsidies for good food options we can gradually wean the country away from its bad habits.”
Gore admitted that his own bloated physique might be mocked by critics of the need for a national food policy, but argued that “the inability of even an enlightened person like myself to attain a healthy diet voluntarily further demonstrates the urgency of a mandatory program for everyone.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/11/15/democrats-disagree-over-executive-order-for-amnesty/
I’m not laughing. This may be a real headline tomorrow.
exactly
same with free speech, ordinary people are totally unqualified to make these decisions
This is, once again, WAAAAAAY too close to reality for comfort, Mr. Semmens.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.