French Mathematicians Question Global Climate Hysteria [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 Nov 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

A recent report authored by a team of mathematicians from the Société de Calcul Mathématique SA challenged what it concluded is "a costly and pointless crusade against a naturally variable climate. The forces driving change are huge and beyond human control. The contribution to climate change that can be traced to human activity is tiny. The measures touted to combat climate change would be both expensive and ineffectual."

Global climate expert Al Gore denounced the report as "detrimental to our efforts to unite humanity in this crucial battle to save the planet. I'm not a math whiz, but I know if we do nothing we can't accomplish anything. Rather than sit by while the world burns wouldn't it be better to try everything we can?"

Gore brushed aside the fact that the planet has endured climates far warmer before the human species ever rubbed two sticks together, asserting that "just because we can't have an effect on the major factors behind climate change doesn't mean we shouldn't go all out to control the minor factors. That way, whether we end up sweating or shivering we'll know that it isn't our fault. The value of such knowledge would be priceless."

Gaelle Tournié, one of the authors of the report, professed "it is difficult for me to decide whether Monsieur Gore is insane or idiotic. That he would gladly bankrupt humanity in an essentially futile endeavor to achieve a minuscule impact of doubtful success would support either assessment."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/185735-2015-10-31-semi-news-semi-satire-november-1-2015-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[Fred Nerks]

Gaelle Tournié, one of the authors of the report, professed "it is difficult for me to decide whether Monsieur Gore is insane or idiotic. That he would gladly bankrupt humanity in an essentially futile endeavor to achieve a minuscule impact of doubtful success would support either assessment."

Wouldn't want you to miss it...

[Smokin' Joe]

(8^D)

[rockrr]

When arguing with the climatards I would liken their efforts to "save" the planet (at our expense of course) thus: "If we were to spend all the worlds wealth, and the combined wealth of every generation before and after us, the effect we would have on the climate would amount to no more than a Hummingbird fart in a hurricane."

;')

[Overwatcher]

“it is difficult for me to decide whether Monsieur Gore is insane or idiotic.” I think perhaps both would apply.

I haven’t thanked you for a while, so thank you very much for your “satire” which remains waaaaay too close to reality and truth.

[UCANSEE2]

I found this one rather dry. (just being honest).

[UCANSEE2]

P.S. I really liked this line, though.

“it is difficult for me to decide whether Monsieur Gore is insane or idiotic. ...”

[chopperman]

Gore is neither. He is a very profitable con man.

[smokingfrog]

[exDemMom]

That is an amazing quote. I have not seen it before, but I will certainly need to remember it from now on.

[fatnotlazy]

The insane AND idiotic are the gullible twits who believe this hoax.

Thanks again for the ping, John.

[Mark]

And the 3rd graders in a public school being visited by John Stossel all scream in unison, NO! They are lying!